Haven't They Grown(104)

‘Are we here?’ Ben asks as Dom switches off the car’s engine. He stretches. ‘I’m tired.’ Tired or not, he’s out of the car in seconds; Dom too. It’s an old family joke: when we all drive home from somewhere, Dom and Ben are usually inside the house and halfway through watching a football match by the time Zan and I drag ourselves out of the car.

I turn and prod her leg. Her eyes snap open. She blinks.

‘We’re here,’ I tell her. ‘Sorry to wake you.’

‘You didn’t,’ she says, stuffing her phone and earphones into the bag on her lap. ‘I was thinking …’

‘Come on, you two,’ Dom calls out.

‘What?’ I ask Zannah.

She looks hesitant, then decides to go for it.

‘Maybe I could try talking to Thomas and Emily Braid. I think I could maybe … I don’t know. I don’t know what I could do, but I’d like to give it a go. I’m the same age as them.’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I don’t want you involved.’

‘And yet look where I am.’ Zan nods towards the villa.

Damn. Why is she so good at winning arguments?

‘They’d tell you horrible things about me, Zan. They’d call me a murderer. I don’t want you to have to deal with that.’

‘I can deal with whatever they say, Mum. Seriously.’ Looking out of the window, she adds casually, ‘I could also deal with you being a murderer as long you only ever have one victim and that victim is Lewis Braid.’

Does she know? Is that possible, even though I haven’t told her?

‘Shall I try and contact them, then?’ She smiles innocently at me.

She knows.

I’ve no idea how I feel about that. My daughter knows I lied. My daughter knows what I did in Florida.

‘Thomas and Emily Braid?’ I say, playing for time.

Zannah nods. ‘I won’t mention it to Flora now, in case it doesn’t work. I just … I reckon I could convince anyone that having a mother is a great thing, not to be missed,’ she says solemnly.

‘Okay. You can try, if you want to.’ My eyes prickle with tears. I blink them away.

‘Er … hello?’ Dom leans into the car. ‘Did we come here so that Ben and I could stare at a wall, or …’

As he’s speaking, the villa’s blue gates open and Flora appears, with Rosemary behind her. She waves at us. She’s smiling.





ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


I am immensely grateful to the wonderful team at Hodder, especially Carolyn Mays – my dream editor and also, luckily for me, my real-life editor. Thanks to Peter Straus, the best agent in the world, and Matthew Turner, and all at Rogers, Coleridge & White. Thank you to my wonderful American publishers, William Morrow, and to my amazing film and TV agent, Will Peterson.

A huge thank you to Kate Jones and Faith Tilleray for all their practical help and support. Thank you to my family – Dan, Phoebe, Guy and Brewster, who get a thank you and a dedication this time. Thanks to Adele Geras and Chris Gribble for reading and commenting on an early version, and to Emily Winslow, whose editorial advice improved this novel immensely.

Special thanks to Chris Ferguson, from Twitter, who gave me some very useful information about youth divisions of football teams. Thank you to my Dream Author programme members who are just the best in every way! And last but not least, thanks to all my readers who write and send lovely messages all the time. Knowing that you’re eagerly awaiting the next book makes me want to write it even more.