Behind Every Lie(23)
I squirmed as sweat trickled down my back into my knickers.
“Where’s Daddy?” Eva whined.
“He’ll be here soon.”
I rubbed a smudge of dirt from her face. What sort of mother couldn’t keep her own child clean?
Eva slapped at my hand. My eyes widened in surprise.
“I’m hot!” she howled. “I want to go home!”
I gritted my teeth, suddenly furious at Seb.
We waited in the soupy afternoon heat for another half hour before I realized: Seb wasn’t coming. This was my punishment. I was not dim enough to suppose that Seb would let me off lightly, but dragging Eva into my punishment was a new low.
I thought about asking Rose for a lift, but telling her the truth was far too humiliating. We would simply walk.
I clasped Eva’s hand, our palms slippery with sweat. “Let’s go trekking!” I exclaimed. “It will be brilliant! Like we’re in the jungle!”
“Can we be tigers?”
“Absolutely, darling!”
It took us over an hour, walking along the quiet, dusty streets of Mayfair, through the cool green of Regent’s Park, and over Primrose Hill. Eva’s tears started about midway home.
We arrived at the same time Seb did, our clothes dripping with sweat and dust. A heat rash prickled between my thighs. My knickers were, quite literally, in a twist. Meanwhile, he looked fresh as a daisy, his tie still tight, blazer draped neatly over one arm.
Eva threw herself into Seb’s arms, her face streaked with muddy tears.
“You’re a bloody mess, Eva!” He peeled her off him, looking at me in disgust.
Furious, I shoved past him and stormed into the kitchen. The house still smelled of smoke, so I threw the window open, then pulled a pitcher of cool water from the refrigerator. I filled two cups and handed one to Eva.
“Why didn’t you collect us?” I snapped at Seb.
“I was at work.”
“We had to walk home! In this heat! You should’ve been there.”
“You must be taking the piss! One of us has to make real money, not play with some bloody toff who’s too spoiled to look after her own kid.”
I slammed the pitcher back into the refrigerator. Behind me, Seb ordered Eva upstairs.
“I can’t believe you, Seb! You could at least think about Eva! Don’t you—”
Suddenly, something flashed in the corner of my eye. I tried to duck, but it was too late. The sound of metal crashing against the refrigerator filled my ears, and something slick and wet exploded all over me. And then Seb’s fist smashed into my stomach. The air rushed out of me, and white flashes of fireworks detonated as I slid, boneless, to the floor.
I gasped for breath. On the floor next to me was one of the tins of cooking oil he’d brought home last night, the aluminum flayed open from the impact. Oil dripped from my hair, gummed my eyelashes, coated my clothes. It dribbled down the cupboards, the refrigerator, plopping onto the tile. The edges of my vision waved and blurred, rather like a mirage.
Seb was breathing heavily, his jaw clenched. I had pushed him too far. I’d failed to heed the warning signs.
Eva’s sobs were a siren in my ears. I needed to comfort her. That’s what a mother does: sacrifices herself to keep her child happy and safe.
I struggled to stand, pushing my oily hair out of my eyes and forcing a smile. “Eva, that’s enough now! I’ve made a little mess, is all! What do I say about messes?”
Eva’s sobs slowed. “We clean them up.”
I lifted my gaze and met Seb’s. “That’s right. We’ll just clean it up.”
twelve
eva
“EVA, I TOLD YOU not to talk to him!” Liam exclaimed after the detective had left.
“Why didn’t you warn me he was coming?” I asked quietly.
Liam paused. “What are you talking about?”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. Melissa was still outside, hovering in the doorway. “Could I get a cigarette?” I asked her.
She held one out to me. I stepped outside, bending forward as she flicked the lighter. The nicotine hit my head so fast it made me dizzy, smoke threading into the cloudy sky.
“Eva, you don’t smoke!” Liam’s mouth then dropped open. I knew he was thinking about what the doctor had said: paranoid, personality changes, mood swings, memory loss.
Check, check, check, and check.
“I need to get out of here.” Smoke hissed through my teeth. I was shaking, trying to hold in all the unnamed things I felt. My mind whirled like a drunk ballerina. “Melissa, can I borrow your car?”
“Sure.” She dug in her back pocket and tossed me the keys. “I have the pickup too, so take your time.”
Liam lifted his hands, baffled, as I walked away. “Eva, come on!”
But for the first time in a long time, I ignored him.
By the time I got to Seattle I’d calmed down enough to realize I’d overreacted. I pulled up behind my old Honda down the street from Mom’s. Night had fallen. The October air was crisp, the yellow, orange, and red foliage crunching under my feet. I did a cursory search of my car—a Snickers wrapper, a half-full bottle of water, a pair of flip-flops. Nothing that stood out.
That familiar feeling crawled over my neck, and the fine hairs on the backs of my arms stood on end. Someone was watching me. I felt their eyes hot on my body. I peered into the darkness, heart thumping. Nobody was there.