All the Dark Places(44)

After lunch, Sadie and I drive over to Laken’s house. I need to get out and think about something besides Jay. I need to talk to Laken. I don’t know what I’ll say to her about Josh, but this is causing me more pain than I can handle right now. It needs to be settled.

I ring the doorbell, but there’s no answer. I hear children’s voices from the backyard, so Sadie and I trudge through the snow around the side of the house. The twins are dressed in heavy sweatpants and jackets, helmets on their heads as they glide across Cal’s man-made ice rink that runs across the expanse of his yard, hockey sticks in their hands.

Cal is sitting on the top of the picnic table, watching his boys. I call out, and he turns in my direction. Jumps down. “Hey, Molly. What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for Laken.”

“She’s at the spa. Amanda’s out sick again, so Laken went in.” Wednesdays are usually her day off.

“I left work early so I could pick up the boys from school.” He glances at the twins, who’ve begun to race each other across the ice, hockey sticks forgotten.

“Dad!” Logan, I think, screams. “Can we go inside and get a snack?”

“Yeah. Okay. Let’s go.” Cal turns to me. “You want to come in?”

At first, I think no, but change my mind. “Okay.”

The boys take a bag of chips into the family room and turn on the TV. Cal and I sit at the glass-top table with a can of Coke each. The kitchen is big, all stainless-steel appliances, granite counters, and cool colors. Sadie settles on the floor next to me.

“What was going on with Jay?” I blurt out. “Do you know?”

He looks startled. “What do you mean?”

“Didn’t he seem a little troubled to you?”

Cal rubs his chin. “I didn’t notice, Molly. Why?”

I shake my head. “Just trying to make sense of it all. Why would anyone want to kill Jay? Do you think someone was threatening him? Did Laken tell you about the necklace? The missing woman?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m trying to figure out how it’s all connected. If it’s connected.”

“That seems like a stretch, don’t you think?” Cal sips his soda. “Sorry, Molly. If something was bothering Jay, I wasn’t aware of it. But I’ve been preoccupied. Things have been rough between me and Laken. Did she say anything to you?”

“No,” I lie.

“Jay was trying to help me out with that. You know how he was, always wanting everyone to be okay. Maybe my problems were weighing him down. I’d been leaning on him a little bit lately.” Anger flits across his face, and he blinks as if to right himself.

“That’s it? You and Laken not getting along?” Maybe trying to help Cal and knowing that Laken and Josh were involved. Maybe that was what Jay was worried about.

“That’s not all,” Cal says, and drops his head in his hands. “Jesus, Molly. I don’t want to get into this.”

“Well, okay then. I’ve got enough going on in my life right now anyway.” I stand and pick up my purse to leave. “I’ll get going.”

“Wait. Wait, please.” He takes off his glasses and lays them on the table, rubs his eyes.

I sit back down.

“Maybe I was a little needy. Jay had a lot of responsibilities, and I might’ve added too much to them, and I wasn’t always too nice when he was just trying to help.”

“What? What else, Cal?”

He blows out a breath. “Last spring, back when you guys were moving into the house, I got some bad news.”

“What kind of bad news?”

“I got diagnosed with a hereditary eye disease.” He drops his clenched hands on the table. “My mother had it. She was diagnosed in her forties and was totally blind by her late fifties.”

“Oh, no. Is there anything they can do?”

“Not much. That’s why I’ve been irritable. I’ve been taking it out on everybody, I guess. No one knows except Laken and Jay. I really didn’t want anyone else to know. And Laken’s tried to be understanding, but I haven’t made it easy. I know that. I’m just having a hard time.”

Good job, Laken, I think sarcastically. Go have an affair when your husband gets crushing medical news. “I understand. But don’t you think you two could be there for each other? Help each other?” You can hope.

Something like anger flashes in his face again. “I’m just having trouble coming to terms with this. The thought of not being able to work, to support my family. Not being able to skate or ski or play tennis.” He shakes his head. “I’ll die, Molly.” He scrubs his hands across his head as if his hair is on fire.

“I’m really sorry, Cal.”

He jumps up from the table and grabs our Coke cans. “You want a drink?”

It’s four in the afternoon, but his face looks so forlorn. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe one.”

He goes to the fridge and pulls out a can of craft beer, sets it on the counter. “Laken’s got a bottle of merlot open.”

“That’s fine.” We sit and sip our drinks, and I’m not sure what else to say to him.

Cal clears his throat. “I don’t mean to dump this on you, Molly. You’ve got enough to deal with.” He squeezes my hand but lets go quickly. “How have you been coping?”