A Terrible Fall of Angels (Zaniel Havelock #1)(57)

“Yes,” I said.

She studied my face again like she was searching my face for answers. I was remembering now that some of the other students had found her eye contact unsettling. It had never bothered me.

“Have you left the fold and joined the wolves?” Suriel asked.

It was my turn to search her face to see if she understood how rude what she’d just said had been. Her big blue eyes looked back at me, peaceful and uncomprehending. I’d almost forgotten the utter certainty that God and the angels were the only path and anything else was wrong, or even evil.

“If you think there are no wolves at the College of Angels, Suriel, then you are blind.”

“I’ve angered you,” she said.

“You’ve offended me on behalf of my friend and colleague.”

“So, you are no longer Christian,” she said.

“I am still a follower of Christ.”

“How is that different from being Christian?” she asked.

“I find organized religion difficult to deal with.”

“What does that mean, Zaniel?”

“What does my religion have to do with you helping Ravensong and advising us on the object that harmed her?”

“I want your help to heal her, Zaniel, but if the angels no longer speak to you, then you cannot aid me.”

“The angels still speak to me, Suriel.”

“Even though you take part in pagan rituals?” she said.

“Angels aren’t Christian, Suriel, you know that.”

She nodded. “We share the same angels with all the religions of the Book.”

“The book?” Goliath asked.

“The Bible,” Lila said.

“The Qur’an, and the Torah,” I added.

“Oh, you mean Judaism, Christianity, and Islam,” Goliath said.

“Yes,” I said.

Goliath nodded. “Okay, but what does that have to do with what happened to Detective Ravensong or the two of you getting knocked out?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Zaniel, you know that’s not true; our faith protects us from the powers of evil better than any other.”

“I know that is what you believe, because I believed it once, too, but I have seen too much of the world outside the College of Angels, Suriel. I have seen Ravensong back down a demon by invoking the Goddess more than once; all good faiths shine a light into the darkness.”

She shook her head. “That is not what I believe, and it is not what you believed once.”

“Once upon a time I believed many things, Suriel, but that time is not now.”

“When I knew you were involved, I did not request a second to accompany me, for there is no one better at my side for the work ahead, but now I am unsure that you are up to the work.”

“You’ve had over ten years more training than I have, Suriel.”

“Why did you not call upon the angels to deal with the relic, Zaniel?”

“Because we needed a magic circle up as quickly as possible so we could keep the rest of the unit safe; Ravensong is faster at that than anyone else I know.”

“The witch says you gave her your power to tap into for her spell.”

I didn’t like the inflection on the word witch when she said it, but it was Lila who said it out loud. “You say witch like it’s a bad thing.”

“I was taught that all ways of power are lesser than the way I was taught. I mean no offense, but it is what I believe.”

“Do you think that witches are all evil?” Lila asked.

“Don’t ask her that, Lila, you won’t like the answer,” I said.

“If you think witches are evil, then why are you willing to help us?” Goliath asked.

“Yes,” Charleston said from behind us all, “if you think we are all evil pagans, why are you helping us?”

“I did not say you were evil, just misled.”

“Misled?” He said the one word in that tone he used sometimes when you knew that you were in trouble. Either Suriel didn’t understand the tone or she wasn’t worried about the consequences. She was still comfortable and secure in the College of Angels and everything they taught us there. No, not taught, indoctrinated. How do you know you’re in a cult? You usually don’t until something happens that is so terrible you can’t ignore it, or pretend it didn’t happen, and then you start questioning everything.

Suriel’s face was peaceful; she hadn’t had her moment yet, and maybe she never would. Maybe she’d be one of those people who go through life without anything forcing her to question everything; part of me envied her that, but the rest of me was sorry for her.

“It is my duty to help those afflicted by forces of the Enemy.”

“She means Lucifer,” I said.

“I know who she means,” Charleston said, still with that purr of threat in his voice.

She was looking around at all of us. “I have offended you again. I did not mean to be offensive.”

“When is the last time you were outside the College, Suriel?”

“I am not cloistered away, Zaniel.”

“How often are you allowed outside the walls?” I asked.

“It is not a prison, Zaniel.”

“You’re right, the day I left no one tried to stop me.”