Warrior (Relentless #4)(96)

“Physically yes, but mentally you are stronger, and your Mori knows that.”

There was still doubt in her eyes as she closed them. Her brow furrowed as if she was deep in concentration. Minutes ticked by. Several times she flinched then took a deep breath, and I could sense the struggle going on inside her.

Her jaw clenched, and I gave her hand a small squeeze to let her know I was here. She relaxed for a few seconds before she jerked and cried out.

I cradled her cold face in my hands. “Look at me.”

She opened her eyes, and the fear in them made all my protective instincts come roaring to life. But this was one battle I could not fight for her.

“I know this feels wrong and frightening to you, but that is only because you aren’t used to it. Don’t run from it, and don’t push it away. Feel your Mori, get to know it, and let it get to know you.”

She closed her eyes again. I went back to holding her hand and watching her for any sign she was in trouble. She sat quietly, her expression unreadable, and the only movement was her breathing. Every now and then her eyelids flickered, but she was so still she could have been in a trance. As long as she didn’t appear distressed or afraid, I was willing to sit beside her and wait.

A jumble of emotions suddenly came through the bond, and I sensed it was coming from her demon. My Mori pressed forward. Solmi?

“Sara, are you okay?”

She didn’t answer, and I squeezed her hand, worried she might be in trouble. “Sara, talk to me.”

Her eyes opened, and I held back my sigh of relief. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. This is so weird and kind of intense.”

I smiled. “I imagine it is. I think that’s enough for now.”

“But I just started.”

“You’ve been at it for over an hour.”

Her mouth fell open. “I have?”

“Yes, and you don’t want to overdo it.” I knew from experience that learning to work with your demon could be mentally and physically draining.

“Okay.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again a minute later, they brimmed with tears.

“Sara?” I asked, afraid the demon had hurt her.

She wiped her eyes. “I’m fine. It was just…not what I expected.”

I relaxed when I could sense no pain from her. “What happened?”

“We talked a little. Well, I did most of the talking.” She went to stand by the lake. “I can’t describe it. What is it like for you?”

I hid my astonishment, not wanting to upset her. How did you have a conversation with your Mori?

“I feel my Mori’s thoughts, but they are almost like my own thoughts. I don’t talk to it like I would to another person.”

Her face fell. “Oh.”

“Don’t do that.” I walked over to stand beside her. “You’ve made great progress, considering your fear when we started.”

“I know.” She looked at the water. “It’s just…never mind.”

“Tell me.”

She bent to pick up some stones and began tossing them into the water, creating ripples across the glassy surface. When she spoke again, I could hear the frustration and loneliness in her voice.

“Nothing about me is normal. I’m probably the only one of my kind in existence, and I don’t fit in here like the other trainees. I can’t fight, and I hate killing. What kind of warrior doesn’t like killing? I don’t even connect with my Mori the way the rest of you do.”

I took one of the stones from her hand and skipped it across the lake as I thought about what to say to ease her mind.

“Your Fae blood does make you different, but that doesn’t mean you are not as much a Mohiri as the rest of us. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to kill.”

She sighed dejectedly. “My Mori is afraid of me. I bet you don’t have to worry about that with yours.”

“No, and that will change for you once you and your Mori learn to join. Trust me; all it wants is to be one with you. Without that, it has no purpose.”

She looked at me, her eyes troubled. “It said my power burns it. I promised not to hurt it again, but what if my Fae power keeps getting stronger?”

“Is your power getting stronger?”

I’d been so happy to have her back I hadn’t considered the implications of her being half Fae. Would her power grow? What would happen to her Mori if her Fae side became more dominant?

“Yes.”

“Tell me,” I urged gently.

“It’s hard to explain because I’m not sure what is going on. A couple of times, I felt a cold spot in my chest right where I was stabbed.” She rubbed her arms. “And my power’s been acting up. At first, it was small stuff like making the leaves move and a bottle of Coke almost exploding. Then we had a training exercise with bazerats, and when I touched one of them it freaked out and my power shocked it.”

“What happened to the bazerat?” I asked with a mix of fascination and concern. Tristan had mentioned a training session with bazerats, but he hadn’t given me much detail.

“I didn’t want to hurt it,” she said miserably. “I knocked it out and the other one too. Celine wanted me to kill the bazerats, but those creatures were terrified of us.”