Warrior (Relentless #4)(95)

Hope sparked in her eyes. “How can you know that?”

“Because I know you. You are one of the most willful people I’ve ever met, and it would take a lot more than a demon to control you. That I know from experience.”

She gave me a small smile. “Are you going to train me to fight without my demon?”

“Today we are going to start with the basics. You will learn to open yourself to your Mori safely.”

She leaned away from me. “I can’t –”

“Yes, you can. This is something every one of us learns to do, and you will, too. You are a lot stronger than the rest of us were when we started.”

I took her hand in mine, hoping my touch would ease her fear. “Do you trust me?”

She nodded.

“And you know that I would never let anything harm you, right?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitancy or doubt, and it pleased me to know she had such faith in me after all she’d been through.

I released her hand reluctantly. “Good. It might be easier if you tell me how it is that you are able to control your demon. How do you keep your Mori separate from your Fae power?”

Her brows drew together, and it was a moment before she answered. “It’s hard to explain. I can feel the demon in my head and sense its thoughts, or rather its emotions, if that makes sense.”

I nodded.

“When I was little I used to hear its voice whispering in my mind, kind of like a song you get stuck in your head and it won’t go away no matter what you think about. I think I was five or six when it first tried to come out, and it scared me so much that I accidentally released my power, which I had no idea about until that day. The beast – that’s what I used to call my demon before you told me what it was – was afraid of my power and it pulled into the back of my mind to get away from it. I was scared to death and I had no idea what was going on with me, but I knew I’d done something to make the creepy voice in my head quiet.”

Her eyes took on a faraway look. “It wasn’t until I found an injured robin and the power burst out of me to heal the bird’s wing that I realized what I could really do. After that, I had to learn to keep my power locked away and only call on it when I needed it and also how to tap into it to keep the beast – I mean the demon – caged in the back of my mind. The only times the demon seemed to wake up was when I did a healing and drained my power. That used to happen all the time in the beginning, but it doesn’t happen anymore.”

Hearing her talk about her childhood and how she’d had to learn to deal with a Mori demon and emerging Fae powers on her own, my respect for her grew tenfold.

“I don’t know if I am more amazed by your level of control or that you learned it at such a young age with no guidance or training. Are you consciously doing it?”

She shrugged, looking more at ease. “In the beginning I did, and it was hard as hell. I lost control of my power all the time because I had to focus on keeping the beast – demon – quiet. Now, it’s like breathing. I don’t have to think about it unless I use too much power and get weak. Then the demon starts to move and I have to use force with it. How do you do it?”

I laughed, trying to think of how to explain it to her. “Not like that. You talk about your Mori and your Fae power like they are parts of you that you move as easily as an arm or a leg. For the rest of us, there is no real separation between us and our demons. My Mori and I are joined completely, and I feel its thoughts and emotions as easily as my own.”

“How can you control it if it’s that much a part of you?” she asked as if she couldn’t conceive such a thing.

“I learned from a young age to suppress the demon’s natural urges just like you would any craving. But unlike you, I can’t block it completely, and I’m always aware of my Mori because together we make one person.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think I could live like that.”

“And I couldn’t live any other way. Now I understand why it’s so difficult for you to tap into your Mori’s strength. You keep it bound so tightly you aren’t even aware of its presence half the time. We need to show you how to get to know it.”

She clenched the bottom of her hoodie. “How do we do that?”

She wasn’t going to like my next words, but there was only one way to move forward.

“You said you keep it locked in a part of your mind, right? You need to loosen your hold on it and connect with it.”

She shot to her feet, her eyes fearful. “I can’t do that. You don’t understand how it felt when I let it out before.”

She was right. I’d lost control of my Mori as a child, but I’d never given myself up completely to the demon. I could only imagine how frightening that had been for her.

But she had won in that battle of wills, and her demon hadn’t forgotten that. She just needed to believe in her own strength.

“It won’t be like that this time because we won’t let it. Trust me.”

I held my hand out to her, and she let me tug her down to sit on the rock again.

“Take it slowly. Just open up a little and remember that you are the stronger one.”

She gave me a puzzled look. “I thought the whole purpose of this is to tap into the demon because it has all the strength and speed.”