Warrior (Relentless #4)(126)

She sniffled quietly. “Tristan told me the bond makes you overprotective. Maybe you would feel different if we broke it. You wouldn’t have to worry about me all the time.”

I rested my chin on top of her head. How did I explain that it wasn’t just the bond that made me protective and that nothing would change how I felt about her? Things were too fragile and uncertain between us right now for her to learn the depth of my feelings for her.

“I’ll always care about you. Don’t you know that by now?”

She nodded, and the band around my heart loosened a little.

“What are you thinking? Talk to me,” I said gently.

Her voice came out as a raspy whisper. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I mean, we’ve been fighting since we met, and I know you weren’t exactly happy to meet me in the first place. My life is a mess and I’ll never be a warrior like…Celine.”

It was true that I’d been surly when we met, but that had lasted only a few days. And not once had I been unhappy about finding her. I wanted to reassure her about that, but first I had to make sure she was clear on one thing.

“Sara, I don’t want you to be like Celine.”

“But how do you know what you want? How do you know if what you feel comes from you or from a Mori thing you have no control over?”

I sighed because I knew she, having barely connected to her own demon, couldn’t understand how my Mori and I lived together in one body.

“My Mori and I share our minds and emotions, but I always know the difference.”

“I’m so confused,” she said hoarsely. “I don’t understand any of this. It’s like I have no control over my life anymore. I’m scared.”

My fingers toyed with her hair. “I felt the same way at first.”

“You were scared?”

I laughed softly at the disbelief in her voice. “It scared the hell out of me when I saw you in that club and felt something between us. I’d never experienced anything like it, and I wasn’t prepared to feel that way for anyone, let alone an orphan I found in a bar. I wanted to stay with you and get far away from you at the same time. I tried to leave, but I couldn’t.”

My voice grew rough. “And when I saw you in the hands of that vampire…”

Her hand came up and rested over my heart, soothing me. I closed my eyes and banished the memory of Eli holding her against him in that alley.

She cleared her throat. “You said you were confused and scared at first. You aren’t anymore?”

“No, I’m not. Yes, it started with my Mori in that bar, but it wasn’t long before I realized there was more to you than you let people see. You drove me nuts when you were so stubborn and reckless, and you have an uncanny ability to find trouble. At the same time, I couldn’t help but admire your independent spirit and how fiercely protective you were of your friends.”

I smiled over her head. “You were an untrained orphan with no apparent abilities, standing your own against a Mohiri warrior while defending two werewolves and a troll. You were something to behold. I didn’t want to feel anything more than responsibility for you, but you made it impossible not to.”

She was quiet for a long moment. “I felt something too when we met. It was like I knew you somehow even though we’d never met. My life was turned upside down that night in more ways than one. Then you came to see me and I resented you for telling me what I was and for changing everything. I did some pretty stupid things and I hated that you were right about them. I hated that you wouldn’t go away and let me be the way I used to be. I thought you were arrogant and bossy and determined to drive me insane.”

I almost laughed at her description of me. Leaning down, I spoke close to her ear. “If this is a declaration of love, I’m not getting a warm fuzzy feeling about it.”

“I’m not finished!” she said in a rush, and I grinned, loving that I had this effect on her. “Even when I was angry at you, I knew everything you did was to protect me and I always felt safe with you. It was strange. I didn’t trust people easily, but I trusted you almost immediately. But I don’t think it was until that day at the cliff, before you showed up, that I realized I felt something more. I was alone and expecting to die, and all I could think about was the people I’d never see again. You were one of them.”

Her admission made the last week fall away. She might not be where I was in our relationship, but there was no denying we had something strong between us.

She shifted slightly in my arms. “And…I did miss you when you left me here, and it hurt because I thought you were glad to be free of me.”

Regret stabbed at me again. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I should have waited a few days for you to settle in and told you I was leaving for a while.”

She was quiet for another long moment. “What do we do now…about this, us?”

“What do you want to do?” As long as we were together, that was all that mattered to me.

“I don’t know. I mean…” She exhaled slowly. “When Tristan told me about the bond, I was upset that you kept it from me, and I admit I kind of freaked. Don’t take this the wrong way after what we just shared, but we’ve only known each other for a few months. I like you a lot, but how are we supposed to know if we want to spend forever together. Forever is a long time.”