Warrior (Relentless #4)(125)

Suppressing a smile, I sat on my haunches and lifted her chin so I could wash her face. She didn’t protest, which told me how miserable she was.

“Do you need to throw up again?” I asked.

She shook her head and rested her forehead on her knees, which were drawn up to her chest. It made her look so small and helpless, and all I wanted to do was hold her. Instead, I went to the cabinet and took out a can of gunna paste.

She pushed at my hand when I held the paste to her lips. She hated this stuff, but it was a lot better than the monster hangover she’d have in the morning without it.

“Trust me; you’ll be glad for it tomorrow.”

She opened her mouth and obediently took the paste, and her expression as she swallowed had me fighting back a laugh.

“Okay, let’s get you off this floor.”

I scooped her up in my arms and carried her into the living room where I set her down on one end of the couch. I sat on the other end and watched her as she leaned her head against the armrest with her eyes closed. Now that I had her here, there was so much I wanted to say to her, but I didn’t know if she was up to talking.

“Were you coming to see me?” I prodded gently.

A nod.

Her silent admission drew another smile from me. “And you had to get drunk first?” I teased.

“The trainees had a party,” she said hoarsely.

My smile grew. “Were you coming to invite me?”

She lifted her head, but didn’t look at me. “No, I –”

“Take your time,” I said when she struggled with her next words. I’d waited a long time to talk to her. What were a few more minutes?

“I…” She swallowed hard, and her voice shook. “I wanted to let you know that…that you’re free. I’m going to break the bond.”

Pain tore through me, and it felt like someone had shoved a red hot poker into my gut. My Mori howled, making it hard to speak.

“What?”

She looked at me, and I couldn’t bear the misery on her face. I stared at the window, trying to breathe and control my wailing demon.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m handling this all wrong,” she said in a trembling voice.

“Don’t apologize. I don’t think there is an easy way to do something like this.”

I took a deep breath, trying to accept what was happening. I’d feared she might not want the bond, but deep down, I’d never believed she would break it.

The poker twisted deeper when I realized I’d have to leave here tonight. I could never see her, never hold her again. People said the bond faded completely when the couple was apart long enough, but my heart belonged to Sara. In my mind, she would always be my mate.

“This is why you were upset in training today,” I said numbly.

“No, that was something else.”

I steeled myself. It made no sense to stay here and torture myself further, but I had to know. “What made you wait until now to tell me? We see each other every day.”

“I-I overheard you talking to Tristan tonight.” Her voice cracked. “You said you wanted to break the bond.”

I jerked my head in her direction. “What are you talking about?”

Her shoulders were hunched and her eyes dark with pain. “You told Tristan you were miserable and that you didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t mean to listen, and I only heard bits of it. And then Celine said…”

Celine? I swore silently. “What did Celine say?”

“She said it wasn’t fair to hold you to a bond you didn’t want, and that you were too honorable to break it.”

Hope fluttered in my chest. Was she saying –?

A wave of pain came through the bond. Sara covered her face with her hands and began to cry.

“I’m s-sorry,” she sobbed brokenly. “I never meant to h-hurt you.”

“Damn it.” I never should have let things go this far without talking to her. I’d only ended up hurting her more.

I moved to the center of the couch and pulled her into my arms. My chest constricted when I thought of how close I’d come to never being able to hold her like this.

“Celine had no right to say that to you,” I said against her hair. “And you misunderstood what you heard me say to Tristan. I told him I never wanted you to find out the way you did, and that I would rather you break the bond than see you unhappy because of it.”

She grew very still against me. “You don’t want to break the bond?”

“No.”

Her breath hitched. “You don’t?”

“Do you?” I asked, not sure if I was ready to hear her answer.

I tried not to be discouraged when she didn’t respond. She hadn’t said yes, so that had to mean something. “You don’t have to answer right now,” I told her softly.

My words didn’t have the effect I intended. She started to cry again.

I tightened my embrace. “I’m sorry you had to learn about it all this way. The last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt.”

After a few minutes she stopped crying and hiccupped. “Why didn’t you tell me about the bond back in New Hastings?”

Because I was afraid you’d run from me and I’d lose you.

“If I’d told you the truth back then, you never would have come here, and I needed you to be safe.”