Undone(22)

The venue for this particular family night out was Mr Chow’s. Dad and I loved Chinese food, while Mum and Noah weren’t all that fussed about it. But it was OK, because they’d get their choice (Mexican) next week. We had the best table in the whole place – the one in the bay window.

I was sitting with my back to the restaurant, so I didn’t see them come in. Mum did though. ‘Oh look, there’s Louise! And who’s that she’s with? He’s rather good-looking, isn’t he?’ My grip tightened on my glass of water. I half turned in what was hopefully a subtle way, but Mum had to go and ruin it by waving and calling out, ‘Hi! Louise!’ Louise had always been perfectly polite to my parents, so they had no idea what a poisonous bitch she’d become over the past couple of years.

‘Mum!’ I hissed through gritted teeth. ‘Everyone’s looking!’

Mum rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t be silly! No one’s looking . . . no one even cares!’

Louise was looking though. And Max. And his parents. His mum was tiny and round-shouldered, with a string of pearls that looked tight enough to choke her. His dad was older, with furry grey caterpillar eyebrows that were knit together in a formidable frown. Louise smiled and waved, but carried on walking to her table, thank goodness. Max nodded to acknowledge me, which was more than I would have expected, and his parents smiled politely before sitting down.

I wondered if this was the first time Louise had met Max’s parents. She certainly seemed completely at ease, as if she did this kind of thing every day. I would have been crazy nervous in her position – minding my table manners, struggling to eat spare ribs in a ladylike fashion, making sure I laughed in all the right places and didn’t laugh in the wrong ones. At least Max looked awkward – more than awkward enough for both of them, in fact. Whenever I looked over he seemed to be concentrating on his food. Louise was getting on so well with his folks it almost seemed like he was surplus to requirements.

Mum quizzed me about Max and Louise. How long have they been together? What’s he like? Is he a friend of yours? That last one made me laugh and roll my eyes. Mum was disappointed that the answer was an emphatic NO.

My phone buzzed in the pocket of my jeans. It was Kai: How’s family night working out for you? xxx.

I replied while Mum and Dad were distracted by the waiter explaining the dessert specials: Good, thanks. Except for the unexpected bonus of your sister and her boyf.

I kept the phone on my lap, waiting for a response that never came.





chapter fourteen


There were witnesses. People saw him do it and didn’t do a thing to stop him. I don’t blame them – not really. I can’t imagine I would have had the guts to intervene either. Not if it was a complete stranger.

The only reason they thought to look twice at him was that he wasn’t exactly dressed for the weather. There was torrential rain – like nothing I’d ever seen before. I was indoors, watching a DVD with Noah (James Bond was his latest obsession). And Kai was out there, wearing nothing but a vest and jeans and flip-flops.

They said he looked like he was out for a stroll. Like he hadn’t a care in the world. He wasn’t ranting or raving or looking crazy.

Reports differ about what happened next. One witness said he hopped onto the railing and stood there for a few moments. One said he crossed himself. One said he didn’t hesitate – that there was no time at all between climbing the railing and jumping. All the witnesses agreed on one thing though. He went head first.

The last person to jump from the bridge was a man named Gordon Powter a few months before. He’d been made redundant and was thousands of pounds in debt. He left behind a wife and three young sons. I knew the details because I’d read every article I could find about it. I made Kai go with me to the bridge, even though he thought it was morbid. He was always humouring me like that.

We’d leaned over the railing and watched the water gush over the jagged rocks. I’d wondered out loud if the rocks had killed Gordon Powter or whether he’d drowned. Maybe that’s what gave Kai the idea. Maybe if I hadn’t made him go with me it never would have crossed his mind to kill himself in that way. I couldn’t allow myself to feel guilty though – not for that. Kai probably chose the bridge because he loved the stupid river so much. He liked nothing more than to sit on a bench and watch the water flow by.

In the local paper they put a picture of Gordon Powter next to a picture of Kai, under the headline ‘BRIDGE OF DESPAIR’. Mum or Dad had clearly tried to hide it from me, but I found it in the recycling bin on one of my midnight forays for food. I put it in my desk drawer. I didn’t like the thought of Kai being recycled.

I was so relieved to see there wasn’t anything about why Kai had jumped, but I thought it was only a matter of time before some nosy journalist found out. Everyone at school was obviously keeping quiet about it – for now. Probably because they didn’t want to get in trouble.

The focus of the article seemed to be firmly on the bridge itself. I didn’t get that at all. The bridge was just a bridge. It could have been anything – a tall building, a razor blade . . . a bottle of pills. If people are going to kill themselves, they’ll find a way. The bridge just happened to be an efficient way to get the job done. There was hardly any chance you’d survive a fall like that, and even if you did, you’d be knocked unconscious and drowned in no time. Kai died straight away, or so they said. He hit his head on the rocks jutting from the middle of the river. I bet he was aiming for them.