Twelve Steps to Normal(23)

But with my twelve steps in the back of my mind, I’m attempting to right things with my friends. So I sit and listen as Raegan freaks out about presidential responsibilities and while Lin stresses about the decathlon team. I’ve only genuinely laughed once, and that was when Colton started throwing tater tots at Whitney to make her stop talking about a Kate Spade purse she was obsessing over. He quickly shut up when she threatened to chuck his iPhone across the cafeteria.

I tell myself that if I keep making an effort, it can only get better from here.

It’s Friday. I’m feeling pretty confident in my toffee oxfords and speckled navy top that I’ve paired with my favorite jeans. I’ve even accessorized with a pair of golden pineapple stud earrings.

Today I’m focusing on step 5—making sure Lin feels valued in our friendship—which is why I got up extra early to help her hang Earth Club posters throughout the school before first period. I find her standing on a step stool she borrowed from the theater department. She’s placing a piece of tape over the first flyer. I read it as she slaps it on the wall.


Earth Club!

Let’s do our part to help our environment

Tuesdays at 3:50

Room 208

(Free cookies during 1st meeting)



“We’re not beneath bribing people with food?” I ask.

Lin scoots the stool over several feet. “I’m not letting Principal Lawrence cancel the only club I care about.” She places another flyer on the wall. “So I’m hoping my cookies will bring the boys to the yard.” After a brief pause, she adds, “And girls.”

“I didn’t know Earth Club was so sexual.”

“Oh, shut up. Hand me another piece of tape.”

I do, then we move another few feet down the hall. “Are you coming to Raegan’s on Saturday?” I ask. It’s not unlike Lin’s parents to spring a family gathering on her at the last minute.

“Yup,” Lin replies. Today she’s wearing a knee-length flouncy skirt with a white V-neck that has a giant recycle symbol printed on the front. She pushes her frames up the bridge of her nose before saying, “I haven’t been to her house in a while.”

“You haven’t?” I assumed the three of them stayed close over the summer.

Lin shakes her head. “Raegan’s mom is pregnant—”

“WHAT?”

“I know!”

“How—?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

I shake my head, shocked. Raegan’s always been an only child, and she certainly acts like an only child. She’s always been confident in her personal achievements, but she can be a little self-centered. Like the time she made Whitney and me help her find the classiest pair of heels to wear to her cousin’s wedding when she knew we both had a major biology exam the next day. She would have outright refused if the situation were turned around, which makes it hard to picture her as a big sister.

“Sorry, I just—wow. That’s a surprise.”

“I’m pretty sure it was a surprise for them, too, but they’re embracing it,” Lin says as we round the corner at the end of the hall. “I didn’t see her for most of the summer because she was working as a counselor at Camp Bridgeport. She wanted a summer job where she could escape her mother’s hormonal episodes. Plus, Whitney was super busy with dance camp.” I hand her a piece of tape so she can secure the next flyer. “Meanwhile I signed up for an online pre-SAT class because I was that bored without you guys.”

I won’t lie. This makes me feel a little better.

“Hey, so,” I say as we move into a different hallway. “Have you figured out if you’re going to let Breck on the decathlon team?”

Lin lets out a deeply annoyed sigh. “It’s just—” She thinks for a moment. “I don’t understand why, you know? It makes no sense. And I don’t want him screwing up our chances if he’s not going to take it seriously.”

I nod. As much as I want to work toward step 8 and be a good friend by helping Breck out, I also understand Lin’s concerns. She’s really put her heart in this over the last two years.

“I can find out,” I offer.

She raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Yeah?”

I shrug. How hard can it be? Breck is pretty transparent.

Ten minutes before the bell rings, the halls become more congested. We’ve successfully hung three dozen flyers down three different hallways. I’m putting the extras in Lin’s binder as she collapses the step stool.

“Hey, Alex!”

I turn to see Lin waving at him from across the hall. My pulse sputters for a quarter of a second. We have algebra together and have already been through the polite, Hi! Hey! You’re back for good? Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah, it is, routine. This is the first time I’ll voluntarily be in his presence, and my stomach is all nerves.

You need to talk to him.

He waves before changing direction and walking toward us, but I shake step 7 and the entire list out of my head. It’s not the right time.

His text pops back into my head. i know my timing is off—

Lin’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Do you have tech first period?”

“Yup,” Alex replies. He’s not wearing his beanie today, but he is wearing a navy deadCenter Film Festival T-shirt with a long sleeve black tee underneath. The double shirts are typical Alex Ramos attire. His hair is slightly damp and curling at the ends, as if he rushed out of the shower to get here in time.