Thin Love (Thin Love, #1)(70)
“Knew what?”
“Knew that I didn’t want him touching you. That I wanted to touch you. You reminded me of that tonight. When you tossed me out, when you thought I didn’t want you, Keira, I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to be something you walked away from.” Another kiss and Kona let this one grow longer, deeper. When he pulled away, his breath came out uneven, panting. “I suck at this. Being with someone, letting them consume me. I was stupid, I’ve been stupid about you, careless, jealous and I thought I just wanted to get with you, to have you once and forget I did. But I know now, that’s not it.” Keira saw something flicker in Kona’s eyes, it made him look anxious, uncertain, but she touched his face, moved her thumb over his mouth and the gesture calmed him, seemed to steel him. “I’m… I’m into you, Wildcat. I’m so into you and I’m not sure what to do about that.”
She shook her head, trying to keep her eyes on his, trying so hard not to let that bandage distract her from what he was trying to say. “So tonight made you realize you were into me?”
“No. Tonight made me realize I didn’t want to be into anyone else. I don’t care that we piss each other off. I don’t care that people don’t like it. I really don’t care that us being together makes no sense at all.”
“Kona. I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
Kona fingered the strap of her tank top, running his thumb underneath as though he need a distraction, needed something that pulled his attention together until he thought about what he wanted to say. Finally, with Keira waiting, wondering what kept the words stuck in his throat, Kona’s gaze returned to her face and he smiled.
“Be my girl, will you, Wildcat?”
She laughed, overcome by his vulnerability, by the hesitant way he kept his eyes shifting around her face. “You asking me to go steady?”
Kona smiled and Keira noticed that the left side of his face moved with the gesture, the medicine slowly wearing off. “It sounds stupid when you put it like that, but shit… yeah. Yeah, I guess I am saying that.” His fingers were long, felt warm against Keira’s cheek and she loved how gently he touched her, how those fingers rested against her skin like they belonged there. “I just want you. Do you want it to be just me and you?”
Their anger had been so thick, so consuming, and Keira knew that she was probably flirting with those bad decisions Leann was so worried about. As Kona waited for answer, eyebrows bunched together, Keira thought about their arguments, the careless way they never held anything back. It scared her. It scared her more than anything had before. “I want us to be normal. I want us not to scream and kick and try to kill each other.”
“Who the hell wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Everyone else is normal, but baby, that’s not us.”
She opened her mouth, planned to tell him that sometimes boring was the only thing that kept you sane, but Kona kissed her neck, threaded his fingers in her hair again and thoughts of being normal seemed beige and lackluster. She didn’t want beige. Beige is what her mother had, what she told herself she never wanted for herself.
“Come on, Wildcat, be mine, just mine and I’ll be yours.”
“I clock you with a bottle and you come here to ask me to be your girl? This is sane to you?”
“No. Not sane. Necessary. And I came here to tell you I’m an idiot and I don’t want anyone else. I came here because when you figure that shit out, you don’t want to wait.” Kona inched down on the mattress, head on her pillow and Keira couldn’t take the stare he gave, as though he needed her answer. As though it was the only thing that would keep him balanced. “Say yes. Please say yes.”
Kona Hale wasn’t the type of guy to say please. Not to anyone.
It was then that Keira decided to accept that she couldn’t refuse him. He made her so angry, brought back that little girl reeling from pain and loss, but Keira didn’t care. That girl wanted a little bit of joy. She craved it and so Keira rested on the pillow, face to face with Kona and gave him a smile that brought an easy light to his eyes. “Okay.”
His smile was crooked, but still beautiful, still hypnotic. “Good. Now roll over.” He kissed her again, quick, determined, before he nudged her on her back. “I wanna sleep with you.” When she gave him a look that was both eager and suspicious, Kona rolled his eyes. “I just wanna sleep with you, Wildcat.”
Now that the anger had waned, Keira couldn’t fight her yawn or the exhaustion that weighed her down. She turned on her side and smiled when Kona’s arm came back around her waist.
“Kona?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t call me that.”
Keira kept avoiding the woman’s stare. She wasn’t surprised she was getting it. Her gaze went up, over Professor Alana’s face to the smattering of gray that grew along her temples and at the top of her scalp. Her ears protruded slightly, were large and long and her eyes were dark brown, a touch lighter than Kona’s. Surrounding those familiar eyes were creases that only deepened as she watched Keira; those eyes stared over square glasses that had slipped to the edge of her nose. There was an excess of skin around her nose, lines that pulled hard in a frown that made her large mouth seem broader, more pronounced. Professor Alana had the look of someone who had once been very beautiful but time and disappointment had transformed those soft features, made them sharp and severe.