The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch, #3)(59)

I’d fallen asleep quickly after dinner, after another round of Delving to ensure that there were no other traitors in our midst, but woke up around midnight, trembling. There were no visions or nightmares this time—I had not experienced those since leaving Odalia.

This time it was different. I had a strange feeling of fear and discomfort, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen…and that I would be powerless to prevent it.

I stole quietly out of bed, so as not to disturb Kalen, and hesitated before the window, looking up at the moon. Slowly, I reached for the azi and felt its gentle presence reach out for mine. It was soaring with no particular destination in mind, enjoying the wind billowing underneath its wings, the fresh, cool air against its three heads.

That’s what true freedom looks like, I thought enviously. Nothing but endless sky before you, as far as you dare.

I retreated slightly. Despite my promise never to make contact with Fox again—for the fear that he would be accused of being an accessory to my actions—I stepped out, reaching across the miles between us. The door separating us that I had so carefully built in my mind, the painstaking seals I had placed to keep myself out, crumbled easily at my touch.

I missed Fox. I missed Mykaela too, and Althy and Inessa and Shadi—even Zoya and Parmina—but it was Fox’s absence that grieved me. His was the voice that provided comfort and companionship during my long years of training, and I had never been apart from him this long. This might have been an exile of my own making, but knowing what I had to do was different from remembering what I was missing. I only want to know if he’s all right, I promised myself, and believed in my own delusion.

Fox was no longer in prison, and the relief that took hold of me knew no bounds. He was in the royal chambers, standing before an open window and looking out into the city, while Princess Inessa slept nearby. It was good to see that he had retained favor with Empress Alyx. His thoughts were somber, his mood bleak.

Leave, I told myself. You should leave. I didn’t.

There was a faint rustle, and Inessa’s sleepy voice broke through the darkness. “Come to bed, Fox. I’m cold.”

Fox turned away from the window. “Kance has left Odalia,” he said quietly.

“I was there when Mother broke the news to us, my love, remember? Right before you saved us from my blighted maids.”



Blighted maids? Visions rose in my head unbidden, as Fox gave in to his memories. Horribly transformed women with spider legs and horns gunned for Inessa and the empress, my brother fighting them off.

“If Tea knows, she’ll go after him.”

Inessa lifted her head. “You haven’t talked about your sister since she left,” the princess said gently, and my heart twisted.

“I—sometimes I feel her in my head, and I don’t know if it’s my mind playing tricks or if she’s really there. I do my best to push her out, but she hovers like a ghost, haunting me. There is a wall between us, a wall she built, and both Mykkie and Althy tell me I must leave it that way. If I don’t, the elder asha will believe I’m still in contact with her, no matter what Mykkie and the other asha offer for evidence.”



“If they refuse to believe you no matter what you do, why don’t you reach out to her?”

My brother was silent.

“Do you really believe that she killed Daisy?”

“I saw her, Inessa.” The confession sounded like it had been torn from his throat. “I was in her head when she did it. I’ve been in her head when she was controlled by a Faceless, and this was different. She was in control. She may claim not to remember, but no one was in possession of her thoughts when she killed our sister.” His voice hardened. “It’s her black heartsglass. I know it. Killing Aenah tainted her. The more she takes in the Dark, the more uncontrollable she becomes. I don’t want to see her hurt anyone else, Inessa, even if it is unintentionally. I don’t—I don’t want Mykkie or anyone else to have to kill her.”

“I am not going to lose either of you, Fox.”

“I don’t know that you have a choice.” He took her in his arms. “It might be better for you to give me up. My presence is enough to cost you your reputation. Some people already see me as a traitor. You should not endure whispers for consorting with one.”

“Mykaela says to be patient, and I trust her.” She kissed him. “Whatever happens, I will not leave you. And if you have any faith in me, then you will do the same.”

“I will do everything in my power to stay by your side. But not at the cost of your life or your honor, even if I have to slay my own sister to protect them.” Then he lifted his head, startled. Before his lips could form my name, I retreated, weeping, to the other side of the door. The seals I added were more formidable, enforced by a stronger will than I had at the last undertaking. He will be safer without me in his head, I thought as I built. He will be safe.

But all I could focus on were his words. Even if I have to slay my own sister.

He was right. I could not blame him. It might come down to that in the end.

By the time Kalen found me, my tears had dried and I was more pensive than melancholic. “Why is it,” I asked him with a rueful smile, “that you have the uncanny ability to wake when I need you, though I do my best to be silent?”