The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch, #3)(58)
He looked at me in amazement. “Sorry for what?”
“The rest of this wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to be accepted as an asha and be an amazing dancer and star in the darashi oyun, without all these other challenges.”
“No one forced me to become an asha. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad that it was obvious to you. Even when I was a zivar shopkeeper’s assistant with a talent for weaves and a head full of dreams.” Likh smiled. “I thought about quitting, but if I did, it would only justify what others thought about me, that I didn’t deserve to be asha. There were some bad days, but there were a lot of good days too, and I won’t trade any of those for the world.”
He looked down at his hands. “Maybe I need to understand myself first, you know? So I can figure out what I’d like to change about me after that.”
I hugged him. “You are far wiser than I will ever be, Likh. Whatever you do, I’ll support you. But we must get the Blight purged from your system first.”
“Lady Tea, Lady Likh.” Lord Aden entered the hall with Lords Knox and Balfour. The big man was especially pale, and not from the Mireth Light; nearly escaping a terrible fate tended to do that, even to the bravest fighters. He also stank of his own runic wards. “I understand that I have you to thank for my life.”
“It was I who imperiled it in the first place,” I said, rising to my feet. As Kalen had predicted, I couldn’t quite meet their eyes after my show last night. “If Aadil hadn’t seen the azi, you all might have been spared.”
Lord Knox chuckled. “How red you are, Lady Tea! What’s spoken in our cups remains in our cups, milady. We’ve been down that road many times before.”
“I don’t trust that shite bastard—begging your pardon—of not blighting us, with or without your daeva,” Lord Aden continued. “The first minister and the others are drawing up plans to mobilize our army and join Odalia. It would take a three days’ ride to Mithra’s Wall. There’s no hurry at the moment, he said—King Kance’s army’s expected to arrive around the same time too.” He looked downcast. “I’d been hoping I could still join up, but Stefan isn’t seeing things my way.”
“You’ve been blighted, and you still want to fight?”
“Besserly says as long as you don’t eat compromised food, the Blight’ll fade and you’ll be back to normal, right? These wards don’t make me feel any different. Like a hidden shield on me, right? Wouldn’t that mean I’ve got added protection? I mean, I can fish my own way and brew my own hops, and I can still hold a sword. What other problem ought I have if I go with the rest of the men?”
“Oh dear,” I said.
Lord Knox guffawed. “You must forgive him, Lady Tea. It’s the first battle he’ll be missing since that wrangle with that Tresean trawler at Montvaisin a year ago, on account of him being seasick. Stefan’s sending you over to Westmarchen Tower at the Finger, Aden, to keep a close eye out on any other strange ships coming in. The gods willing, you’ll have your share of action there.”
Aden sighed.
“I would like to apologize as well,” Likh said shamefacedly. “I misled you and your friends last night, Sir Knox. You were led to believe that I was…that I was a lady. Likh…in Odalia, Likh is a boy’s name. I joined the Willows out of a genuine sincerity to be an asha…but I shouldn’t have withheld this from any of you. Please forgive me.” He closed his eyes.
How many times had he confessed this in Kion, I thought, only to be met with derision and disgust? I felt terrible, not having known before.
All three Yadoshans stared incredulously at the asha before Knox and Aden threw their heads back in laughter. Balfour, on the other hand, looked stricken.
“Poor Bally here’s smitten with you!” Aden explained in between chortles, forgetting his own problem. “He was all doled out, asking Besserly questions about what he needed to be your patron and worrying how he’d go about it without causing you offense! We’ve traveled all the kingdoms, Lady Likh. And sure, there’s some right bastards, but we ain’t as narrow-minded as some of our kinsmen. No harm—well, except for poor Balfour’s broken heart here.”
“There’s a waiting period after becoming an asha before Likh can accept such offers, even if he were willing,” I told the man gently, “and he hasn’t quite finished his training yet.”
“Would…would the rates be different if he ain’t a girl?” Balfour asked, almost mournfully, and his fellows roared. The asha in question was already beet red, mouth open as he stared at the contrite Yadoshan. Khalad looked horrified. He stared at Balfour—I was pleased to observe—with almost the same look Likh had when Lord Cyran had taken Khalad’s hand back in Istera.
“Yadoshans,” Kalen said again, shaking his head.
? ? ?
Preliminary reports told us, as Lord Aden confirmed, that Kance’s army had yet to arrive at Mithra’s Wall but was expected to in three days. The Yadoshan army had already moved out to add to their numbers, itching to get to the fighting before the Odalians could. At Kalen’s insistence, I reluctantly agreed to spend the night in Thanh instead of setting out immediately.
“Azi or not, it’s suicidal to face down a Drychta army and a Faceless lurking within their ranks without rest,” he reminded me. “We’ll get there long before Stefan’s soldiers, even if you stay the next two nights. Let’s not head into a potential battle before conserving our strength.”