The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried(44)

“I know what you mean,” Jo says. I doubt she actually does, not in the same way, but I don’t interrupt her. “I was in the shower two nights ago and there were no towels, and I yelled for July to get me one before I remembered she was gone.”

Only, July’s not gone. Maybe. I don’t know. Either way, I can’t tell Jo. Seeing her family has to be July’s decision. “I should go.” I stand and then try to arrange the pillows the way they were, but they’re still a mess.

“Dino?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think she was really mad at you.”

“No?” I say. “She seemed pretty angry.”

“Shoot, that’s because she didn’t know how to be angry at herself, so she took it out on everyone else.”

I wave as I head for the door. “I hope I’ll see you in school next year. And if you do decide to stay, let me know. I’ll give you a ride.”

“Thanks, Dino.”





DINO

THE LAST PERSON I WANT to see is Rafi, but he’s sitting on the patio steps at the front door when I pull into the driveway at my house. There’s a cardboard box beside him. He looks considerably better than I feel. Then again, I doubt he had to get up after only four hours of sleep to go to a funeral for someone who may or may not be not-dead and texting me from inside of her buried coffin.

Rafi stands when I get out of the car, and I feel like the ground’s dropped out from under me. He’s wearing the shirt he was wearing when I first saw him, even though that was a year ago and it’s too tight across the shoulders now, but there’s a sadness in his eyes that hits me harder than I expected it to.

“Hey, Dino,” he says.

I motion at the box. “Stop by to return the stuff I gave you?” My voice comes out defensive, though I don’t mean for it to. I’m not certain I agree with Jo’s theory that July was angry at me when she should have been angry at herself, but I understand the idea, because how can I possibly be mad at Rafi?

Rafi’s face contorts with pain like I’ve knifed him. Then he shakes his head. “How was the funeral?”

“Depressing.”

He moves like he’s going to hug me, but stops himself. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mean to be a dick,” I say. “But I’m exhausted, so why are you here?”

Rafi nods and picks up the box. He reaches inside and pulls out a light blue T-shirt. “This is from the fundraising marathon we ran together.” He passes it to me. Then he pulls out a torn paper bracelet. “Midnight madness at the fair.” The items keep coming. “The comic book you said would change my life, a list of the bands you made me listen to, a picture of you yelling at the religious nut who camped out in front of the community center.”

I interrupt him. “Rafi, what is this?”

He stops. “Last night, you said you don’t know who you are. And how can I possibly love you if you have no idea who you are?” He shoves the box at me. There are still tons more things in it. A dried carnation, a drawing I don’t remember doing, a pack of silver markers. “These things are who you are. At least, they’re who you are to me.”

I take the box and hold it awkwardly, wishing I could throw it away. “And what if the person I showed you isn’t real?”

“Then I’m an idiot,” Rafi says. “But, I’ve seen videos of you acting, Dino, and you’re not that good.”





DINO

THE UPPER PORTION OF THE coffin flips open, and July sits up and goes, “Ta-da!” while giving me actual jazz hands.

I lean the shovel against the dirt wall of the grave and help July out of the coffin.

“Why the hell are you still alive?”

July shrugs. “Insomnia?”

I have so many questions, but I’m standing at the bottom of a grave, dirty with sweat streaking my arms and legs, and I want to fill the hole and get the hell out of the cemetery as quickly as possible.

“Your mom sewed my butt shut!” July yells. “Did you know she was gonna to do that?”

I grimace. “Kind of?”

“I’m not even going to tell you where she stuffed cotton. You said they weren’t going to do any of that stuff.”

“I said they weren’t going to embalm you. But there’s still the chance of leakage, and your parents wanted an open casket, so . . .”

“You have no idea how humiliating that was.”

“Can we . . . ?” I motion at the ladder. July climbs out and I follow, but as soon as I’m up, I round on her and say, “Why aren’t you dead? What’re we going to do now? And how did you get a phone?”

July scans the cemetery. There’s plenty of moonlight, but I was too scared to bring a flashlight, so everything looks a little spooky. “You want to have this talk here? Now?”

“No, but we can’t leave this giant hole here, and you might as well explain while we work.”

July looks at me, then the shovel. “We?”

“Are you seriously not going to help?”

“Come on, Dino. A good friend will bury your body, but only a best friend will dig you back up and not make you help fill in the hole.” She bats her eyelashes at me, and it’s infuriating. But since I already have the blisters, I don’t see any point in arguing. I pull the ladder out of the grave and begin shoveling dirt into it while July tells me what happened.