The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried(19)

“You got a better explanation?”

Him losing it laughing isn’t the reaction I expect. I’ve never understood how such a deep, soothing voice could come out of a scarecrow body like his, but his rich laugh carries down the aisle and across the store, and I’m guessing they can hear it in the grocery section. “What?”

Dino bends over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. His face is splotchy red, and there are even tears running down his cheeks.

“What the hell is so funny?” I ask again.

“You,” he says. “Death might have been suspended, and you’ve made it about you.”

I flare my nostrils and stare at him. “You seen any other zombies?”

“No. But it’s typical. Everything’s about July Cooper.”

“Is not.”

Dino straightens up. “Clearly you’ve forgotten about when I came out.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “How could I forget when you made such a big deal about it?”

“When I told my parents I was gay, my mom started leaving condoms in my sock drawer, I couldn’t watch a single TV show with my dad without him asking if I thought whatever guy on-screen was cute, and Dee baked me a chocolate cake and wrote ‘Not a surprise’ on it.”

“So?”

“When I told you, you cried. You decided you’d turned me gay on account of the time in eighth grade we practiced kissing on each other.”

“That’s only because Wesley Sato had just come out, like, a month before, and I’d kissed him too!”

Dino goes on like he’s not listening. “And then, after I consoled you and convinced you that you didn’t cause my raging case of homosexuality, you made it your mission to tell everyone at school.”

“I was proud of you!”

“You stood up in the middle of American history and announced that I liked boys and that anyone who messed with me would face your wrath.”

“Once again,” I say. “So?”

Dino taps his fingers on his thigh and stares at me with nothing but anger. He’s always been the type of person to hold things in, but there’s fury in there that looks like it’s been simmering for longer than we’ve been friends. It’s cold and dark, and I didn’t know he was capable of it.

“Forget it,” he says, and starts to turn away.

“Forget it, my ass!” I say, which stops him. “You think I’m the one who makes everything about them?”

“Me?” he says, all innocent.

I nod furiously. “Hell, look at tonight. I’m the one who’s not-dead, but you’re acting like you should get to make the decisions. Where we go, what we do. Trying to force me to see my parents. The truth is, you don’t know how long this will last. I could be dead again by morning, and you won’t even let me go to a stupid party to meet your stupid boyfriend and your stupid friends. Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you won’t let me meet them?”

“No, July.”

“Then why don’t we go see your parents?”

“Fine! Let’s!”

“I was being sarcastic.”

Dino scrubs his face with his hands. “Why is this happening to me?”

“To you?” I say, incredulously. “Whatever you think, Dino, this isn’t your story; it’s mine. I may die at the end, but I’m still the hero and you ain’t even the villain. You’re nothing but a pathetic unnamed background character who doesn’t make it out of the second act.”

I dig the keys out of my pocket and dangle them in the air in front of him. “We’re going somewhere,” I say.

“Yeah,” he says. “To your house or mine.”

I try to make a buzzing sound, but it comes out more like a dry fart. “Wrong answer.”

Dino plants his hands on his hips and puffs out his bottom lip. “I’m not taking you to Rafi’s party.”

I shrug. “Fine. Then I’ll go without you.”





DINO

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE Rafi lives!” I call as July takes off. She thinks I’m going to chase her again, but I’m not. This is merely one more example of July indulging in her flair for the dramatic. I’ll hang out in here for another ten minutes, and then I’ll go to the parking lot where I’ll find her waiting by the car for an apology, which she isn’t going to get.

I asked my mom when I was younger how people could go on once someone they loved had died. I didn’t comprehend how they could make decisions and talk about funeral plots and coffins and the ridiculous but necessary minutiae involved in burying a body that lacked the capacity to care anymore. I could’ve asked my dad, but people don’t make sense to him until they’re dead. My mom, though, she understands the living, and she explained that we each have an amazing ability to rationalize and compartmentalize. Either we convince ourselves of facts and truths that don’t necessarily line up, or we box reality up and hide it in some distant corner of our minds like a bomb on a timer we’ll be forced to confront one way or another.

I’ve been dealing with July’s not-death by rationalizing it. Since the moment July sat up and screamed, I’ve been attempting, and failing, to piece together an explanation out of the limited facts at my disposal. I want to believe that there is a scientific and totally logical explanation for July, but in the absence of science, I’m willing to accept that this could be the result of a religious miracle. Pick a religion, any religion. I’m open minded. Of course, the possibility that other people may not be dying has complicated matters greatly, but I’m still confident we will find an answer, be it rational or divine.