The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School(70)

“Is that why you wear the rainbow Vans? And the pins?” I ask.

“It helps not to have to come out to every new person all the time.”

“That’s smart. But aren’t you ever afraid to like, come off too gay?” I know I would be.

“Yeah, sometimes . . .”

“Is that why you don’t hug girls?”

“What?”

“I mean, you hug your parents a lot, and David sometimes. But hardly ever me and Amber. At first I thought you didn’t like me, but Amber’s your best friend, so maybe it’s a girl thing?”

She’s quiet for a while. “Well, yeah. I guess it is a girl thing. I don’t want to make you guys feel . . . uncomfortable, or anything.”

I reach my arms out and open and close my hands to invite her to hug me. “I’m comfortable.”

She smiles and accepts the offer. Her sweater makes it feel like I’m hugging a pillow, and I love it. Her hair smells like vanilla. I try not to savor the embrace too long, or else she’ll be the one feeling uncomfortable.

“I love hugs, so you can hug me anytime you want, okay?” I say as I pull away so I don’t get lost in that vanilla-smelling pillow.

“Thanks, Yamilet. It’s nice having you here. I’m glad you came.” Her smiling eyes are alluring as always, but I can’t stop staring at her lips.

“Me too. Hey, if you want, you can call me Yami.” I think she’s earned the nickname. I get up to leave, because if I stay sitting on Bo’s bed any longer, I won’t be able to resist the urge to kiss her.





18


Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulting


I wake up in the morning with an insatiable need to dance. It’s not enough to watch a performance. I want to move. I march into the living room, where Bo is already set up playing some fighting video game. Her speaker is sitting on the table, just asking to be used.

I can’t bring myself to take it back to the room. Bo made me dance to her favorite music. It’s only fair if I make her dance with me to mine, right?

“Everything okay?” Bo asks, and she pauses her game.

“Yeah. Um. Are you busy right now?” I’m making it awkward. Why wasn’t it awkward when Bo wanted me to dance with her?

“Nope. What’s up?” She puts the controller down.

“Remember when you made me dance to your favorite music?”

“Yeah.” She’s smiling.

“Want to hear mine?” I ask.

“Yeah!” She hops up, and I offer her my hand.

“Do you know how to cumbia?”

She shakes her head. I play “Baila Esta Cumbia” by Selena, and show her the moves. She follows my feet until she gets the basics, then we start messing around with turns and dips and all that fancy shit. When I pull Bo up from our first dip, she looks impressed. I grin, chin up. Yeah, I’m strong enough to dip her. To impress her, I twirl her and do it again. This time she comes up giggling, face red.

“Again!” she squeals, and I happily oblige. Then I take her hand above our heads to twirl her. This time she just keeps twirling. Of course it didn’t take long for Bo to revert to her go-to move of spinning in circles. She has so much fun doing it that I start spinning with her. She giggles when I join her, and oh my God, her laugh. I could listen to her laugh all day.

I spend a good chunk of the next day sitting on the couch in the upstairs living room, hoping Bo will come out of her room to hang out with me. She’s been in there all day, and I don’t want to bother her unless she wants me to, so I just sit here waiting.

After what feels like forever but really is only about another hour, she finally comes out of her room. She marches over to the couch like she’s on a mission. Instead of sitting down next to me, she towers over me.

“I’m gonna do it,” she says, chest out.

“Do what?” I sit up straighter.

“Confront my parents. About what we talked about after the baile folklórico show. But I need you to come with me. For moral support.”

“Of course,” I say, happily getting up off the couch.

She leads me downstairs, where her parents are sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Bo just stands there without saying anything until they pause the show.

“Everything okay, you two?” Rick asks.

Bo opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She sticks her shaking hand out to me, and I take it and squeeze. “I . . . um . . . I have something I want to say to you guys,” Bo starts, voice uncertain.

“What is it?” Emma asks.

Then there’s another uncomfortably long pause from Bo. “Okay, so . . . you know how you guys have all these Chinese decorations and stuff around the house?” she starts, squeezing my hand harder than when we watched that horror movie with Amber.

“Yeah . . . ,” Rick says slowly, like he’s waiting for Bo to continue.

“Well, I was thinking. Maybe I’d like it if you two kind of . . . took a step back from all of that, you know?”

Emma raises an eyebrow, and Rick gives Bo a sad look of surprise.

“Why do you say that, sweetie?” Emma asks.

Bo hesitates, and I give her hand a little squeeze.

You’re doing great, my hand says.

Bo takes a deep breath, then finally goes on. “I guess it just kind of feels like, you two are exploring my culture for me, and I’m only kind of watching. I want to be the one to do the exploring for a while. Like even if it’s just going to Chinese restaurants or watching C-dramas or whatever, I think it should be on my terms, you know?” She finally lets go of my hand and inhales, like it took her whole breath to say all that.