The Fragile Ordinary(45)
“I believe I was.” I gestured to my book, clutched in his hands. “It’s more fun than what you’re doing.”
He looked at the book and then at me. There was something surprisingly solemn in his expression. “You’re always reading, Comet.”
The way he said it made me tense, and I tried to laugh it off, teasing, “Books tend to be more interesting and fun than reality, Tobias.”
But Tobias didn’t laugh. “Anytime I ask you what you’ve been up to, you’ve either been writing poetry for your anonymous blog, visiting that poetry café you won’t take me to or reading a book. When everyone else is at a party, where is Comet? Alone in her room, reading a book.”
Hurt that he would say that, that he would think it, when I’d thought he was the one person I didn’t have to worry about disappointing, I sat up to reach for my book, but he deliberately held it out of reach. “I’m not boring. Fictional worlds are just better. Give me the book, Tobias.” I reached for it again, and he held it above his head. “Tobias.”
“Fictional worlds are better?”
“Tobias!” I lunged for it but he jerked back and I swayed into him, my hands coming down on his chest for balance.
We froze.
Our heads close, our eyes locked.
I didn’t know if it was my imagination or not, but Tobias’s chest seemed to rise and fall a little faster, his breathing shallow.
“Better than reality?” he whispered, staring at my lips. “Than what’s right in front of you?”
Heat suffused me and this overwhelming restless feeling enveloped me, making my fingers curl into his T-shirt as I watched his head move slowly toward mine. My lips seemed to swell, as if inviting his to touch them.
Please, I whimpered inwardly. Please, kiss me.
His warm breath caressed my lips and my eyes fluttered closed as my heart thudded in anticipation.
Rock music suddenly blared into the room, startling me, and I pushed up off Tobias’s chest.
Tobias frowned and reached for his phone. “It’s Stevie.” He pressed the hang up button. “I’ll just text him.” He held my book out toward me, watching me carefully. I didn’t know how to read him. Was he disappointed we’d been interrupted, or was he glad? I reached for the book, and he snapped it away from me momentarily. “Stop hiding in these.” He shook the book. “Be in the moment. You never know when it might disappear.”
What the hell did that mean?
I took the book back, watching him text Stevie and receive a reply. “What does he want?”
“Why do you always use that snarky tone when talking about Stevie?” he huffed.
I frowned, wondering why we were arguing. “What tone?”
“Like he’s scum. He’s not scum.”
“He’s not exactly Mr. Wonderful either.”
Tobias sat up, glowering at me. “What happened to wanting us all to be friends? You can’t be friends with someone you think is scum. You don’t even know him.”
“You’re right, I don’t. And I want to trust you about him because your friends say a lot about you. But the way that whole crowd acts make it hard.”
“Oh, so because you’re friends with Steph I’m to assume you’re a vapid, narcissistic princess?”
“Tobias!”
“What? You can trash my friend but I can’t trash yours?”
“I’m not trashing, Stevie... I just... I’m worried about you. I’m worried that you’re trying so hard to protect Stevie from making mistakes with those idiots he calls friends that you’re forgetting about yourself and the way you want to live your life.”
“I told you I’ve got Stevie’s back because he’s a good guy. I don’t need to explain that further.” He rolled off the bed, giving me a look of reproach. “He doesn’t talk crap about you because you’re shy as shit. He doesn’t judge you. Not like you judge him, and you of all people should know better. And I’ll remind you that he’s not just my friend, he’s my family.”
“I’m sorry.” I scrambled off the bed, hating that he was mad at me. “I—”
“Just because Stevie’s dad is in prison doesn’t make him like his dad. He hates his dad for putting his family through that, and now his mom’s health isn’t great and he’s got his little brother, Kieran, to look out for. It’s a lot. Cut him some slack.”
Remorse flooded me. “You’re right.” I hurried over to him, needing to touch him, needing him to know I wasn’t a judgmental bitch, even though I had been. I gripped his wrist and squeezed it in reassurance. “I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about Stevie and the truth is, he has never been mean to me. Ever. Even when Heather lied and told him I had a crush on him, he was nice to me about not liking me in return. It was mortifying, but he didn’t mean it to be mortifying. I promised myself I’d give him a chance because you see the good in him and from now on I’m going to live up to that promise.”
Tobias frowned and then turned away from me. I hurried to follow him out of the room. “Where are you going?”
“I need air.”
Wondering if I need air was code for I need to get away from you, I stood by my bedroom door, watching him stride down the hall. I crossed my arms over my chest. “I said I was sorry. If I’m big enough to apologize, you should be big enough to accept the apology.”