Sweet Liar (Candy #2)(26)

“I don’t know how I feel about you,” I replied honestly. There was a war going on inside me when it came to Jonah.

The disappointment that darkened his eyes made me regret being so honest. I looked away, wishing things could be different, but knew myself well enough to understand they might never be.

I started the dishes, and soon after the locksmith arrived. I let Jonah handle it, relieved to have his attention diverted from me while I finished cleaning up. Afterward I went to my room to finish getting ready for school.

“The lock is fixed. We should go now,” Jonah said from my open doorway a little while later.

“Okay.” I glanced at him, sensing the tension in the air between us.

“Are you going to visit Theo again?” he asked.

My back stiffened. “Don’t worry. I won’t run off again without telling you.”

Frustration flitted across Jonah’s face. “That wasn’t why I asked. I wanted to know if I could come with you next time. I’d like to see him too.”

“Oh,” I replied, a little ashamed of myself. It was thoughtful of him to think of that. “I don’t know when I’m going again.”

He nodded. “Well, let me know. We’d better go if we don’t want to be late.”

Then he disappeared from my doorway.

I’d hurt Jonah; I could see it in his eyes. It wasn’t the first time I’d hurt someone, but it was the first time I’d cared so much.

***





Jonah was waiting for me in my living room, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Theo and needed to talk to him, or at least text him before we left for school.





Me: Are you still playing video games instead of going to school?

Theo: You ask that like playing video games is a waste of time. It just so happens I’m waiting for Jacqueline.

Me: Who?

Theo: My new nurse. She can teach me things you can’t learn in a classroom.





I rolled my eyes at my phone.





Me: Hot?

Theo: Smokin’. And as soon as I can feed myself again, she’s mine.





I snorted.





Me: When do you lose the feeding tube?

Theo: Could be soon. The parental units want to take me to California to visit family once I’m up to it. Jacqueline may miss me, but it would be cool to see the Pacific.

Me: Sounds nice.





I swallowed because I would miss him.





Me: Let me know when you’re leaving for Cali.

Theo: Will do. Say hi to tall, dark, and broody for me. You let me know when you tap that.





He meant Jonah, obviously. Theo had no idea what was going on there because I’d chosen not to tell him, and I didn’t intend to.





Me: Sure. Right after I post it on Instagram.

Theo: With pornographic evidence? Oops, I meant photographic. :)

Me: As if. Talk later.

Theo: Not if I’m busy with Jacqueline.





The fact that I was smiling when there wasn’t anything to smile about was a testament to Theo. His spirit couldn’t be dimmed.

Before putting my phone away, I texted Lea to let her know I’d be back at school today. She’d texted me yesterday, and I hadn’t answered until just now. If I was lucky, she wouldn’t be mad at me for ignoring her.

Jonah was standing at the door with his coat on as I turned on the heated gloves he had given me and waited for them to warm up. He looked at the gloves and then at me before glancing away. A lump rose in my throat. Things had been so different when he gave them to me. Despite everything, I was still grateful.

“It’s icy,” he said as we walked outside. Then he actually reached for my arm so he could walk me to his Jeep.

I had on fashion boots that probably would have slipped on the ice if Jonah hadn’t been steadying me. The motor was already running in the Jeep when we got inside. Jonah must have gone out to start the engine before I emerged from my room. Apparently what I’d said to him last night didn’t cause him to lose his manners. He was being so thoughtful, guilt at how I’d spoken to him washed over me again.

He glanced at me as he backed out of the driveway. “You have a doctor’s appointment coming up, don’t you?”

I nodded, surprised he’d remembered with so much going on. I was dreading this appointment. My fingers hadn’t improved, and I still wore Band-Aids over the dark frostbitten skin.

“When is it?”

“I don’t know. I have to check.” I didn’t want to go and hear bad news—that parts of my fingertips had to be removed.

“Let me know so I can come with you.”

Looking out the window at a world covered in white, I didn’t answer him. First he wanted to come see Theo with me; now Jonah wanted to go to my doctor’s appointment. He wanted to be there for me, just like he said, no matter how badly I continued to hurt him.

Emotion built inside me, clogging my throat.

He glanced at me. “Candy, I mean it. You shouldn’t go alone.”

I slid him a sideways glance, wondering what it would be like to have Jonah there. It would help. In spite of everything, I knew that much.