Sweet Liar (Candy #2)(21)

As I drove toward Theo’s house, I wondered how I’d be able to pretend everything was normal when it was so far from normal, but I couldn’t tell him. I wouldn’t unload my problems on him when he had so many of his own.

When I came to the turnoff for Theo’s street, I found myself driving straight past it and instead continued on to my aunt’s house. I had this growing need to tell her how wrong she was about my father. She thought he was a monster, that my mother couldn’t have chosen a worse husband. She had no idea how much that so-called monster had sacrificed to keep my mother alive.

As I turned the corner onto my aunt’s street, my need turned to anger simmering inside me. She’d wronged him so badly all these years, but as my foot found the brake pedal to stop in front of the house, I knew I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t tell her the truth, because if Victor’s investigation somehow made its way to her doorstep, she’d be all too pleased to tell him my father was guilty. But I was dying to rub it in her face how wrong she’d been about him.

Once I’d brought the car to a stop one house down, I sat there looking back at the small, tired-looking place I’d lived in but never called home, wondering how my father had kept quiet for so long. When my aunt threw accusations at him and when I kept asking him what was going on, how had he remained completely silent about what he’d done?

I also wondered if my mother knew. If so, I doubt she would have approved. Mom would never have wanted him to put himself on the line for her. Not that he would have listened if she’d told him not to. If he had it in his power to help her, he would, and he did. He wanted her for as long as he could have her. And so did I. He’d helped her for the both of us.

I blinked back my tears as I watched the quiet house. Errant snowflakes fell from the gray sky, melting as they landed on the windshield. When I spotted my uncle open the front door and walk outside in his robe to retrieve the newspaper lying on the front lawn, my stomach twisted at the sight of him.

No matter how messed up my situation was now, I was glad I’d decided to leave here. At least I got to live with my father for a few months before they took him.

Hating how holding the truth inside felt, I knew it was the smart thing to do, and wondered if my thinking was the same as my father’s had been. If he’d told anyone, he risked exposure, and he risked losing the treatment that was helping my mother.

Self-control was much harder than giving in to impulse, but I knew it was what my father would have done, and he did it for so very long.

***





When my phone began dinging with texts and then ringing, I had a good idea who it was. Jonah had probably discovered that I wasn’t at home. It was still early, but maybe he’d gone to my house to check on me before school.

Glancing at my bag, I wondered how to play this. Should I ignore him? If so, what would he do? Would he try to look for me?

I could tell him a partial truth, that at the last minute I’d decided to come here to see Theo. As I pulled up in front of Theo’s house, I decided that was the safest way to go. For all I knew, if I didn’t reply, Jonah would send people out searching for me.

When I pulled out my phone, I read the texts, all from Jonah, all less than pleased at my absence.





Me: I drove to Theo’s house. I needed to see him. Will be back soon.





His reply came right away.





Jonah: You said you’d go to school today.





I rolled my eyes at my phone.





Me: No. You did.





It took a moment for his reply to come back.





Jonah: I’ll see you when you get back. Assuming you are coming back.





I snorted and sent back a happy face that was sure to annoy him more.

That went better than expected, although Jonah had no right to be angry. It wasn’t like I was under arrest or anything; I was free to go wherever I pleased. Of course, if he had any idea where I’d just been, his mind would be blown. It wasn’t going to be easy keeping his mother a secret from him, but he’d kept so many from me, I didn’t think my conscience would have a big issue with it.

When I arrived at Theo’s house, it appeared quiet with no cars in the driveway, which meant his folks had left for work. He wasn’t much of a morning person, so I doubted I’d missed him leaving for school. He usually rolled in during homeroom period, and since he was so obviously sick, he never got in trouble for it. Even though he claimed not to want any passes for his illness, he still took advantage when it suited him.

I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. The air had turned icy, and the gray sky had darkened.

As I stood there, I held my gloved hand out in front of me and caught a snowflake. It looked geometrically perfect, as if it had been cut from white paper, before it melted away into the dark material.

The door was slowly pulled open after a few moments. When Theo spotted me, his eyes rounded. As I looked at him, mine did too. He looked so pale with dark sunken eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. A black sweater hung from his narrow shoulders, draping over gray sweatpants.

“I’m here to see you, dummy,” I replied, trying not to let my shock at his appearance show.