See You at Harry's(25)

“Is he OK?”

“Yeah,” I say quietly.

“So, was it your fault?”

“No! Charlie was playing under the table and then just took off and ran across the parking lot before I could stop him. I was trying to do my homework. Mom’s the one who’s supposed to be taking care of him, not me.”

“Well . . .”

“Don’t even think about telling me we’re a team.”

“OK.” He traces his finger along one of the bigger names carved on the tabletop. Then he pulls out the mini Swiss Army knife on his key chain and starts carving teeny-tiny letters inside a peace sign someone else made. I watch while he carefully carves out the almost unreadable words. Holden was here. Then he hands the knife to me.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Be creative.”

I slide closer to him and carefully push the tip of the knife into the wood and try to form letters under Holden’s. Fern 2.

“What are you doing to that table?”

I jump for a second time and almost cut myself.

My mom is walking toward us. Charlie and Sara trail behind.

“Marking our territory,” Holden tells her.

“Me, too!” Charlie yells, reaching for the knife.

I push his hand away just in time.

“You mean!” He pouts at me.

I hate it when he says that. “I didn’t want you to cut yourself — that’s all!”

“Wite my name,” he demands.

“Fine.” I carefully add & Charlie. Charlie squeezes in between Holden and me so he can see. His small hand pushes down on my thigh as he leans forward and squints at the letters. He turns and smiles at me. Then he reaches for my ear and pulls it toward his face. I feel his warm little breath in it and cringe, wondering what he’ll do.

“I love you, Ferny,” he whispers. Then he leans back and giggles and kisses Doll’s green hair.

“I love you, too,” I say. Because just at that moment, I really do. Despite how much of a huge pain he is. Seeing him on the pavement, lying so still, I realize just how much I love him.

My mom puts her hand on Charlie’s head and smiles at his cuteness. “Let’s go home,” she says. “It’s been a long day.”





ON THE WAY HOME, my mom tells Charlie he can have whatever he wants for dinner because she’s so happy he didn’t get hurt.

I try to exchange eye rolls with Holden from across the seat, but he’s staring out the window with a serious look on his face.

Charlie pushes Doll into my lap. Her dress is soggy from him sucking on the hem.

“Um. Ew?” I say, pushing her back.

“Doll needs wuv!” Charlie says, shoving her back.

“Then give it to her!” I say. I block her from getting any closer.

“You do it!” Charlie says.

“No!”

“Fern, for God’s sake just humor him,” my mom says from the front seat.

“Make Holden do it!”

“Doll wants Fern!” Charlie whines, but he pushes Doll toward Holden, who finally comes back to earth.

“Ick,” he says. “I don’t want her.”

“Doll’s not icky!” Charlie says. He starts to cry.

“You two are awful,” Sara says. “Humor the kid, Fern. You should be flattered.”

“Fine.” I take the stupid doll from Charlie and put her on my lap.

“Sing!” Charlie says, magically not crying anymore.

I groan and lean my head back in the seat. Luckily, we pull into the driveway before Charlie can start fake-crying again.

Inside, my mom, Sara, and Charlie go straight to the kitchen, so I follow Holden into the living room. He has an instruction booklet open on his knee, and he’s pushing buttons on a cell phone.

“Hey! Where’d you get that?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Gray gave it to me.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Now he can text me and stuff. It’s cool.”

“So does this mean he’s like, you know, officially your boyfriend or something?”

“Or something? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno. I mean. Is that what you’d call him?”


Holden sighs. “Well, yeah, I guess so. I mean, I’m kind of new to all this. Gray’s the first guy I’ve met who . . . you know. Is like me.”

“But you’re not just friends.”

“No.” He smiles, as if it just sank in that he has someone special. “Anyway. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Any hot guys in middle school you’re crushing on?”

I blush. “Right.”

“Fern, you’re cute. You need to realize that.”

I look away. “No, I’m not.”

“Sure you are! But you’re always hiding behind your hair and baggy clothes. It’s like you try to blend in so you’re invisible. Why do you do that?”

I shrug. I never thought that’s what makes me invisible. I never thought the fact that I’m invisible is my fault.

He reaches over and pushes my hair back, then studies my face. “You could be really pretty, Fern. Too bad the only one who knows it is Ran.”