Remember Jamie Baker (Jamie Baker #3)(74)

I sucked in a breath. The dream was still so vivid in my mind. Pretty much what we were doing now, except more intense and with more skin.

Ryan didn’t need to hear my thoughts to know what I was thinking. “Mmm. My kind of dream. I’m sorry I missed it. How far did we get?”

He kissed me again, deep and sensual. I couldn’t help responding to him, and when I did, he pushed me back until I was lying on the bed with him mostly on top of me. He was completely gone now, lost down a single-track thought path that led to only one place. Just like in the dream my body was ready to follow him, but my head and heart weren’t there yet. My awake self had more restraint than my subconscious. “Ryan, wait. I’m sorry. Please stop.”

After stealing one last kiss, Ryan rolled onto his back with a groan. “Sorry. I know you’re the queen of taking things slow. I get it. I respect it. I’m just not as good at it.”

He stretched his long body and then pulled me into his arms, as if he intended to lie there and snuggle for the next few hours…or at least until he calmed down some. He squeezed me tight and let out a long breath. “It feels so good to hold you again, you have no idea.”

“Maybe I do.” I debated asking him my next question, but I really, really needed to know. “Were we alone on a beach the first time we…you know…”

He groaned again, as if in true pain, and squeezed me so tight against his chest he’d have crushed me if I were normal. “Babe, you’re killing me. I’m sorry, but I really don’t think I can tell you that particular story right now. I’m too…” He blew out another breath, squirming as he tried to get comfortable. “I just can’t.”

That I had such an effect on him was both terrifying and thrilling. “I don’t need details,” I said. “I just need to know if my dream was real. Did we…on the beach…my first time?”

It took him a moment to answer. His arms trembled around me, probably because he was trying so hard to restrain himself. “Sorry, Jamie. As nice as that could have been, that’s not how it happened. Not even close. We were at the cabin. There was snow outside. A roaring fire inside. Frosty windows… A soft fir rug…” He swallowed loudly and buried his face in my neck. “It was perfect.”

I closed my stinging eyes and braced myself against the sharp pain lancing my heart. It sounded perfect. And unfamiliar. My dream had just been a dream.

I tried to hold on to the hope that dreaming had given me, but it wasn’t easy when all of my memories with Ryan sounded so amazing. He cherished every moment we’d spent together. I hated that I couldn’t cherish them with him.

“We’ll have that night again, Sunshine. You have my word,” Ryan said, his voice a gentle but firm whisper. “Or if you need something different, we can find your tropical beach. It sounds like it was a really good dream.”

When I said nothing, he lifted my face up to his and pecked my lips. “No sad thoughts right now. You dreamed, Jamie. That’s a good thing.” He paused, and another wicked smile crept over his face. “And for your first dream, you dreamed of us naked. That’s not something to be sad about.”

I gasped. “I did not! We were not naked!”

“We were getting there. That’s good enough for me.” He kissed me again, hard, and then pulled back with one last groan. “Come on; we should get up. I’d love to keep you to myself for the rest of the day, but there are a lot of people worried about you.”

His words brought reality crashing down on me, and I finally remembered why I’d been asleep in this bed. The events that led to me passing out were a bit jumbled, but I remembered enough. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I forgot!” I jumped up, tugging Ryan with me. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Ryan laughed. “I meant to, but you kind of distracted me, babe.”

I snorted. “You are such a guy.”





Superspeed was involved as I showered and made myself presentable. Only seconds after I got out of bed, Ryan and I went in search of Major Wilks. As Ryan led me through the maze of boring identical halls, I realized my stomach felt hollow. “What time is it? How long was I out?”

“It’s been about twenty-four hours.”

Well, that explained it. Food was definitely going to have to be a priority soon, but there was something I needed to do first. “Where’s Tyson?”

Ryan grimaced. “He’s still in the infirmary.”

Still in the infirmary, twenty-four hours later? My heart gave out. What had I done?

When the lights above us flickered, Ryan sighed. “Relax, Jamie. He’s going to be fine. They’re just being cautious because he’s a PAC, and a kid.”

That didn’t make me feel better. “Will you take me to him?”

“Way ahead of you, Sunshine.” Ryan pointed to a sign on a nearby door, indicating we were already there.

I stumbled to a stop, suddenly too overwhelmed to take another step. Ryan paused beside me. “Something wrong?”

“You knew I’d want to go see him first.”

“Of course I did.”

My chest burned, and I could barely speak past the lump in my throat. It was just like in my dream. He’d given me what I needed, before I’d even realized I needed it. Ryan’s answering smile, when he realized why I was so overwhelmed, was so understanding, and full of love that it pushed my emotions over the edge. My eyes filled with tears.