Rayne & Delilah's Midnite Matinee(39)

My phone almost slips from my grasp in my haste to open the email. I catch it from falling and pray I didn’t accidentally delete it. I jam the dress I’m considering buying under my arm and read.     DEAR MISS WILKS

MR DIVINE THANKS YOUR FOR YOUR MESSAGE! HE IS A VERY, BUSY , MAN BECAUSE OF HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVE HIS WORK BUT HE IS WILLING TO MEET WITH YOU AT SHIVER-CON, TO TALK ABOUT YOU’RE SHOW…,THIS IS HIS ASSISTANT AND MY NAME IS CELESTE ST. JAMES. I LOVE TO ANSWER HIS EMAIL’S..

I feel like I’ve gotten off a roller coaster. My heartbeat gallops in my ears. If the floor of the Goodwill weren’t so covered in mung (thanks, Mom), I’d want to sit down and catch my breath. I don’t necessarily love the jankiness of the email (like I didn’t love Jack Divine’s low-rent website), and his assistant’s name sounds like the name of a porn star, but still. It’s a positive response from Jack Divine.

“I think I could wear this with…DeeDee? Hey.”

I glance over. Mom has meandered back to the clothes and is holding a short, black, lacy dress up to herself.

“Sorry, what?”

“Rude. Checking your phone while I’m talking to you.”

“What were you saying?”

“Never mind.”

“No, it’s just that—do you remember Jack-O-Lantern’s Fright-Day Night Revue?”

“Vaguely?”

“Dad and I watched it together.”

“Okay.”

“You remember SkeleTonya.”

“I loved SkeleTonya. Still do.” Mom scrutinizes the dress top to bottom.

“So anyway, the guy who was Jack-O-Lantern also produced and directed SkeleTonya’s show. Guy named Jack Divine.”

“That name sounds made up.”

“Probably. Anyway, he’s going to be at ShiverCon in Orlando at the end of May, and he wants to meet with Josie and me about the show.”

“Your show?”

“Yes!”

Mom gasps. “This is huge, DeeDee!”

“I know! This could be a big break for us!”

“So obviously you’re going to have to go down to Orlando.”

“We’ll take Josie’s car.”

“Will it make it?”

“I hope.”

“I’d let you use ours, but I’ll have to work, probably.”

“Ours isn’t in much better shape than Josie’s.”

“True. So I guess this trip won’t be free?”

“No. Convention costs. Hotel costs. Gas. Food.”

“We maybe ought to make that sundress your graduation dress after all.”

“I told you I’m cool with that.”

“And the tattoos might have to wait.”

“I’ve managed all this time without one.”

Mom smiles, squeezes my arm, pulls me close, and lays her head on my shoulder. She smells like Suave shampoo, rose essential oil, and grocery-store incense. “I’m so proud of you. You built this with your own two hands.”

“I had a lot of help from Josie. I couldn’t do it without her.”

“Yes, you could.”

“It wouldn’t be as good.”

“It’d be different, is all.”

I keep flipping through things I’ve already looked at, excitement subsiding slowly to a manageable level, a low simmer. Mom meanders back toward the books and plates. I start to text Josie with the good news, but instead I stop and watch Mom. The sun is setting through the dusty plate-glass windows at the front of the store, making our little Temple of Discarded and Cast-Off Things glow golden. It’s illuminating her face and hair like she was painted by an artist who is tired of never selling a painting and has resorted to painting things everyone loves.

I’ve always thought she was beautiful. Even when she was exhausted from crying, and not sleeping, or sleeping too much. Even when I knew she didn’t feel beautiful, she was.

I wish I could see myself the way I see her. I have her nose. The curve of her full upper lip. Her muddy hazel eyes that she says are green but aren’t. Her hair that’s the right color of brown that it takes black or red dye well (and we both seesaw between each color).

I join her by the books and plates. “Mom?”

“DeeDee?”

“What do you want most out of life?”

Mom looks at me and laughs. “We just making small talk now?”

“I’m serious.”

“I’ll let you know if we see it here.”

“Mom.”

“What prompted this?”

“I’m thinking about what if I were in a position to give you anything you wanted.”

Her lips purse in thought. “I guess…to be happy. That’s all. Be with the people I love. Live a good life. Watch horror movies with my daughter. It’d be nice if it were a little easier to pay the bills while all that was going on. But happiness is what I want.”

“I want you to have all of that. I’m going to give it to you if I make it big.”

Mom puts her arm around me. “You’re already doing a great job.”

She smiles and I smile back, making a mental note to store this day away in my memory. It wasn’t a perfect day, but it’s worth hanging on to.