P.S. I Like You(30)

“Young man, wait here for a moment.”

“I would,” Cade said, “but I’m on a secret mission.” He headed for the door and waved to Sasha on his way out. She laughed and then he was gone.

The sub looked around at the classroom in annoyance. “Who in here is willing to give me his name?”

Nobody said a word. I was so tempted to. I wanted Cade to have some consequences once in a while. But I stayed quiet with the rest of the class.

The bell rang and I grimaced. I quickly jotted down a closing line on the piece of paper.

Sorry it’s so short, started too late. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.

I folded the letter and slowly packed my things. I just needed to wait until everyone was gone. I stood up and nearly ran into Sasha’s chin.

“Do you have a problem with me?” she snapped.

I took a step back. I should’ve known looking at her for the first half of class wasn’t going to be tabled with one rude gesture. “No. I don’t.”

“You were mad about me stealing your seat? You don’t think Lauren is your friend, do you?”

I hadn’t been expecting this. “No,” I snapped back.

“I’m glad you know your place.”

“Is there a problem, girls?” the sub asked.

Sasha’s smile made its first appearance as she unleashed it on the teacher. “No, we’re just talking about meeting up later. See you.” She turned and took her long legs and perfect hair out of the room.

“I wouldn’t want either of you as friends anyway,” I said way too late.

“What?” the sub asked.

“Nothing.” I walked to my normal seat and squatted down, pretending to tie my shoe. Then I exchanged the notes.

I lingered for a moment, staring at the desktop—my initial exchange with my pen pal. The sub was busy writing on the whiteboard so I took out a pencil and erased as much as I could as quickly as I could. Satisfied I didn’t have to worry about someone like Sasha reading it ever again, I got up and left.

I ducked around the first corner and hugged the letter I’d retrieved to my chest. It was nice to have a distraction. My heart was still beating fast from my confrontation with Sasha and from the hurried erasing session. I unfolded the letter.

Yes, you should stop mocking me about my song lyrics. I think Flight and Fight would welcome my suggestions. I was just getting ready to write a song about all the things I hated about Chemistry. It would’ve been a really good song. Okay, fine, I’ll stop. Maybe. But only if you start writing down some of your lyrics for me. I want to read them. Don’t be self-conscious. I’m sure I’ll love them. I get it, though—the holding important things close. I have a hard time sharing private things too … except with you for some reason.

I was thinking about the Thanksgiving tradition you told me about a few letters back and how fun that sounded. Maybe I’m just craving pumpkin pie. Maybe I’m just craving a crazy home life. It seems like we have the opposite problems. My family ignores me, yours is too present. Maybe we can get them all together and somehow they will balance each other out.

Maybe we would balance each other out …

The wall against my back was doing a good job of keeping me steady. I felt wobbly. Maybe my pen pal and I would balance each other out. Maybe we were perfect for each other. I smiled, read the letter again, then carefully folded it in with his other letters that I kept in my backpack.

My head was in the clouds for all of two seconds until I realized we’d have to meet if anything else was going to happen. Me on paper was not the same as me in real life. I mean, I was exactly the same, but less awkward. My mind went to both the times I’d hung out with David and how horribly awkward I’d been. Whoever my pen pal was, he’d want nothing to do with me once he found out who I was. Or maybe getting to know someone through letters first was a good idea.

This could go well … or horribly.

Okay, calm down, Lily. It’s not like he was asking to meet. He just said it was possible that we could balance each other out. That was just an observation. We’d continue on how we were. It was fine. We were fine. Letters were perfect.

Or … I could suck it up, face my fears, and meet him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Isabel.

Where are you? Were we meeting somewhere else today?

On my way, I wrote back.

The halls were empty as I hurried to meet Isabel for lunch. So when I rounded the last corner before the door, I stopped in surprise when I saw one person standing at the end alone. Lucas. He wore dark jeans and a tee today. His headphones were in and he was flipping through a textbook. My heart pummeled my ribs as I forced myself to walk forward. It would be too obvious now if I avoided him.

Maybe I should say something. I’d start with something clever like, You’re listening to music. Cool. I laughed a little at myself. So clever, Lily. No, I could think of something that was actually clever. His T-shirt. It would probably be an awesome band tee, hopefully one I listened to, then I could quote a lyric to him or something.

I reached him and looked at his shirt. Across the front in faded blue was the name Metallica. Not helpful. My eyes went down in disappointment. Then I noticed he was holding a Chemistry textbook. He took Chemistry? But he was a senior.

My brain gave me the warning that I had been standing there silent too long. My eyes shot up to his. He was looking at me now, his earbuds out. When had he done that?