Opposite of Always(33)

I take a small bite. “I am.” I’m not. How can I eat when I’m still trying to digest the fact that I’ve time-traveled?

When I’m trying to figure out why I’m here.

At this particular time.

With Kate.

She frowns. “Are you one of those super-agreeable people who always says yes to everything?”

“No,” I say, chewing. “I’m just in a particularly agreeable mood tonight, I guess.”

Her eyebrows lift. “Oh yeah?”

“What can I say? It’s sorta feeling like one of those once in a million years type nights.”

“You’re a confident kid. I like it. I bet you’re a heartbreaker.”

“This may come as a shock to you, but nerdy doesn’t play all that well in high school.”

She chomps on another fry. “Don’t worry. Nerdy plays well when you need a job. Besides, the best thing about college is that it’s a chance to remake yourself.”

“So, who did you used to be?”

“Me? I’m still working on my transformation.”

“Well, don’t change too much. Otherwise, how will I recognize you?”

She cleans her mouth with a napkin. “Jack, do I know you from somewhere?”

I shake my head. “Why would you ask that?”

She stares at me, and I stare back, and we sail right past the point where most people would’ve broken off their gaze, when most would’ve felt uncomfortable.

“That,” she says. “Because of that.”

“What’s that?”

“The way you look at me. Like you’ve been doing it our whole lives.”

“What do you want to do now?” I ask.

We’re outside the diner, and it feels twenty degrees colder.

Kate pulls her sleeves down, burying her hands inside her sweater. “I think I’m gonna turn in for the night. I’ve got a paper to write and I haven’t even finished the reading.”

“Oh,” I say. I rack my brain for a reason to extend our night.

“Besides, won’t your friend worry about you?”

“My friend?”

“You said you came here with a friend from home.”

“Oh. Right. Jillian. No, she’s not the worrying type.”

Kate gazes upward, the moon staring down at us. “That’s a good way to live. Worrying is for the birds.”

“So, let’s not worry tonight. Let’s do something fun. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?”

“Anywhere,” she repeats. She taps her chin. “Venice.”

“Okay,” I say, laughing. “Anywhere within driving distance.”

“Well, there is one place, but it’s in the middle of nowhere.” She hesitates. “You’re not a serial killer, right?”

“Not serial yet,” I assure her. “But ya gotta start somewhere.”

“Sicko.” She smiles. “There’s something about you, Jack. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But I’m working on it.”

“Good. Keep working.”

“It is sort of beautiful.”

“Sort of?” Kate twirls on her heels. “Look around, Jack. There’s nothing sort of about the gorges. This is the best place on earth, in case you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t. But I do now.”

“Damn right you do.” She balances on a log. Walks it in precise but graceful steps.

“Are you a dancer?”

She looks at me over her shoulder. “In a past life.”

“Why’d you stop?”

She stares down at the water. Juts her hand into it and emerges with a smooth stone, studies it in her palm. “The world had other plans for me.”

“You don’t strike me as a person who’d let anything dictate her plans, the world included.”

“Yeah, well.” She drops the stone back into the water. “I guess you don’t know me, do you?”

“Hey, I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying—”

“I know what you meant. Don’t apologize.” She steps deeper into the gorge. “You want to see something really cool?”

We walk through the riverbed for another hundred yards before I realize where we are. Where she’s taken me. We’re standing in the exact spot—where we shared cereal together and talked about what our futures might look like. Before I knew she was sick. Before I knew her. When we were still only in like.

She points skyward. “The stars are popping tonight.”

“It’s like they’re competing. I’m the brightest! No, I’m the brightest,” I say in my best high-pitched star voice.

She grins. “You have an interesting point of view.”

“That’s not the first time I’ve been told that. I’m developing a complex.”

“No. Interesting is good. Interesting is very good.”

And I can’t wait anymore. I can’t. “Kate, can I ask you a question?”

She looks away, eyes back on the sky. “Uh, sure, I guess.”

“It’s going to come across as odd and definitely premature. Fair warning.”