Opposite of Always(32)

And you could’ve told me you’ve solved global warming.

Or that you’d actually found Park Place and won the McDonald’s Monopoly grand prize.

And I wouldn’t have heard you.

Because Kate. She’s alive.

Jillian is at my side. She pops a chip into her mouth. “Hey, J. Having fun?”

How did she get to the stairs so quickly? But then I realize I’ve apparently abandoned the stairs and floated into the kitchen. I’m using floated loosely here, which I feel the need to explain since somehow I’ve traveled back in time, and so I couldn’t blame you for interpreting floating as me being a ghost or whatever.

“Yeah, this party is . . . awesome,” I say. I scan the crowd for Kate. “You enjoying yourself?”

Jillian shrugs. “I was sorta hoping you and I would just hang out. Like without anyone else. And just talk or whatever.”

I pause my Kate search and look at Jillian. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. It just feels like lately we’re never alone. Between school and jobs and family stuff, we’re always so busy.”

“I hear you,” I say, my search unpaused.

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar. Is it a girl? Did you meet someone, Jackie?”

I smirk. “Me? Meet someone? Yeah, right.”

“Oh my God!” She jabs me in the shoulder. “Where is she? I wanna meet this girl.”

“It’s nothing,” I say. “We just . . . I don’t want to make it into something it’s not, but . . .”

“I’ll help you find her. What does she look like?”

“Umm, let’s see. Well, she’s black. With dark hair. Brown eyes.”

Jillian shakes her head. “Okay, so you’ve narrowed it down to half the party. Anything else? What is she wearing, Romeo?”

“A sweater-dress thingie. With like a belt cinching it.”

Jillian snaps her fingers. “Oh, I saw that girl. She got some punch and then left, I think. Or at least she went outside. Maybe she—”

But I don’t wait for Jillian to finish. I’m already diving out the front door.





Remind Me How I Know You


I race around the house, dodging smokers and drinkers, until I spot her against the side of the house. She’s holding a cup and staring into her phone.

Sensing my approach, she glances up. “Are you following me, Sorry?”

“Who, me?” I ask.

“No, the weird kid behind you.”

I resist the urge to look behind me. “Just to be sure, there is no weird kid behind me, right?”

She grins. “Only when there’s a mirror behind you.”

“You’re funny,” I say. It’s sort of nostalgic, recalling how she always made me laugh.

“Said no one ever,” she replies. “But thanks, man.” She sips from her cup. “So what do you study here?”

“Huh?”

“I know, I know. Totally weak pickup line, right? Hey, man, what’s your major. But I have a tendency to be weak, so bear with me.”

“I don’t go to school here.”

“No?” Her face twists into wonder. “You go to State then?”

“I’m just visiting Whittier. For the weekend.”

“For the weekend? You have friends that go here?”

“Not yet,” I say sheepishly. “I’m here for a visit.”

“Like a campus visit? As in you’re still in high school?”

“I’m a senior,” I say. I attempt to subtly bassify my voice. “You actually led our tour at the student center.”

She points at me like her finger shoots lightning bolts. “Quiet kid in the back!”

“Yep. That was me,” I say quietly but still extra bass-y.

She laughs. “You’re a big, bad senior,” she says, mimicking my quiet-bass. “So, what, you thought you’d come up here this weekend? Land yourself some college ass?”

I retreat into my normal there’s a g-g-girl in front of me stammer. “No, uh, not at all, I was actually just, I mean, I wouldn’t do that, like ever, anyone who knows me knows that I’m not like that, in fact, I—”

“Relax, man. I’m messing with you.”

“Right. I knew that.”

“Of course you did. You’re a senior.” She balances her cup on the porch banister. “So, Sorry, you hungry?”

And the truth is, I’m not sure what’s happening to me. Why I’m here. Again.

If I’m even here.

If any minute I’ll wake up having been in a coma all along, or having dreamed the entire thing, or some other cringe-worthy plot device.

But just the possibility of another chance with Kate has me reinvigorated.

I bounce on my soles, like I’ve just discovered I can fly.

Like I’m about to lift off for the first time.

“Yeah,” I say. “I could eat.”

She guides the longest fry ever into her mouth. “I’m Kate, by the way.”

“I’m Jack.”

She gestures at my mostly intact burger. “Thought you were hungry.”