One Small Thing(45)

I want to scream. Chase didn’t do anything wrong.

Except kill your sister.

Bile creeps up my throat. Over my fingers, I can see my parents staring at me. I sink deeper into the cushions, trying to find a way out of this.

But Mom takes my silence for distress. “Are you all right?” She frets. “I knew he was harassing you!” In a shrill voice, she addresses the cop. “We can’t wait until something dangerous happens. I’ve already lost one daughter.” Her hand flies to her throat.

Dad comes over and places a hand on her shoulder. “We’re not waiting, Marnie. We’re filing the restraining order.”

“I can certainly assist you with that,” Officer Malloy says gently. He turns to me. “Why don’t you describe what happened so that we can put this paperwork in front of the right judge?”

I feel even sicker. “No. I don’t want to do this.”

“Lizzie,” Mom says.

“It’s Beth.”

“Beth. It’s for your own protection.”

“He’s a menace to this town,” Dad says. “He’s reckless and—”

“It was an accident,” I interrupt and then glance at Malloy with imploring eyes. “You know about the case?”

He nods, because of course, he knows. Everyone in Darling does. It’s what my fucking family is known for.

“It was ruled an accident,” I remind him.

He nods again.

“This isn’t a crazed maniac roaming free. And trust me, I hate him, too.” The lie burns my throat on its way out. “But I don’t feel right saying I feel physically threatened, because I don’t.”

Dad looks on in disapproval.

I turn to my mother and grab her hand. “Please. I’m not in any danger. I was sitting in the corner of the library feeling sick because I skipped lunch. Chase was there and I was embarrassed that he saw me crying. I snapped at him. He...” I apologize mentally for my next lie. “He snapped back, and then Scarlett showed up. It was nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Dad thunders.

Mom, though, searches my face. I squeeze her hand and plead, “Please.”

“You really don’t feel in danger from him?”

“I don’t.” My tone is clear and even. “If that changes, I promise to let you know.”

She examines me for a few moments longer before coming to some internal determination. She nods and looks at Officer Malloy. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, but we do appreciate the information you provided us with. I assume we can contact you again if we decide to go forward with the TRO?”

“Of course.” There’s a hint of relief in his voice.

We all get to our feet. For once, I don’t feel like a stupid kid. I told the truth, or most of it. Mom listened, and the outrageous injustice toward Chase was averted. All without crying, throwing a tantrum or freaking out. Act like an adult and maybe they’ll treat you like one was Chase’s advice.

To my surprise, it’s actually worked.

Dad walks Officer Malloy to the door while Mom stays with me in the living room.

“That was very mature of you.” She shakes her head slowly. “But he’s not a good boy.” Her voice catches. “I’m afraid.”

“Don’t be.” I’ve never felt the least bit endangered by him, but I can’t explain to Mom all the times that Chase has had opportunity to hurt me and hasn’t, because that would be grounds for locking me in the basement.

Dad comes back and doesn’t even look at us. He’s pissed.

“I’m going out,” he mutters. “Don’t wait up.”

Before either of us can object, he storms out of the house.

I always thought Mom was the one who couldn’t move on. After all, she keeps Rachel’s locker empty in the mudroom. She leaves Rachel’s bedroom completely untouched. She won’t let me have a dog because Rachel was allergic.

But Dad is the one who’s still clinging to his anger and hurt. He was the first one to cry for Chase’s blood after the accident. He pressed for a murder charge and raged for weeks when it was pleaded down to reckless homicide. It doesn’t matter that Rachel had run into the street without checking for cars. Chase had taken his baby.

Dad will never forgive him.

*

Mom and I eat dinner by ourselves. She makes grilled cheese sandwiches. I heat up tomato soup.

“How’s Scarlett doing? I haven’t seen her in a while. You two are still friends, right?”

“Yes. We’re good.” But I’m still worried about the way she snapped at me after Jeff offered to take me to the party. I don’t want our friendship to be on shaky ground; it’s one of the best things in my life right now. Scar and I have been best friends since kindergarten. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her.

“Hey, can we go shopping this weekend?” I ask my mother. “I want to see if I can find something for Scar.”

“Is it her birthday? I thought that wasn’t until January.”

“No. It’s just an...‘I appreciate you’ gift.” Over the years, Scar and I have bought each other a ton of little friendship gifts, but it’s been a while since I’ve done it. It’s definitely way overdue.