My Beloved: A Thin Love Novella(30)

There were tears running down her face that tore Kona apart when he noticed them. His chest clenched, ached with a pain he knew he could never be rid of if she wouldn’t let him in. Not when he’d caused those tears, made her that miserable.

“I… I don’t belong in your world, Kona.” The words came out through a hiccupping sob, made her voice crack and was followed by more tears.

That ache in his chest traveled up, choked him as he watched her hold herself, refusing his comfort. If he died, right then, his skin charring, the cells in his body evaporating, Kona thought it would hurt less. He couldn’t take it, not the sound of her sobs or the way she covered her face. But he also couldn’t speak, couldn’t do more than dig his feet into the sand to avoid rushing to her.

When she had quieted and the tears slowed, Keira’s frustration broke, and she whipped around to gaze at him, her eyes blazing. “Say… say something, please.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around you saying you don’t belong in my world.”

“It’s true.”

“The hell it is.”

He’d had enough of this and wasn’t gentle when reached out and pulled on her wrists, held them against his chest. He could say “don’t cry” or “please” but he knew without thinking that Keira didn’t want that, it wasn’t what she needed. And Kona’s mind was too full of her stinging words and her tears, and of how his breath was now shallow and weak. He needed something to pull himself back to earth and so he took that from Keira, covering her cheeks with his large hands so she could not pull away from him.

“I don’t have a world without you.” And then, Kona kissed her. Hard. He took her lips because they were his, devoured her mouth because he owned it, just as she owned every atom that made up the stupid, stubborn, selfish * that he was.

There was moisture on his face, tears that were not his, tears that kept coming the longer he kissed her, the deeper he claimed her, and Kona couldn’t stop, refused to stop until she responded, until her tears subsided.

Keira’s breaths were jagged and raspy when she pulled away from him, resting her forehead against his chest. “You managed sixteen years without me.”

“I functioned sixteen years without you, but I didn’t live until you kissed me again, that night on the balcony. Until you were mine again.”

“Kona, I…” she stopped when his phone started ringing. Although he didn’t pick up, Keira shook her head and that familiar disappointment in her eyes returned. “Take the damn call, Kona.” The distance loomed between them so quickly, again, as her lithe arms again wrapped around her own waist to keep from touching him. The phone kept ringing, buzzing… then hummed through the air as Kona flung it far out into the ocean.

“Are you crazy?”

“No ma’am. I’m in love. With you.”

This time she didn’t fight him when he pulled her close, needing to feel her skin, to touch her face.” I’m not in love with a game. Not money or cars or fame. I wish you’d understand that.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Sighing, Kona rested his forehead against hers then straightened, keeping his hand cupped against her face. “I played football because I was good at it, it was the one thing I did well. And I love the game, Keira. I feel alive on that field. The fans, their chants, their cheers, it electrifies me. But those people go away. They scream and shout for me, lift me up, treat me like a f*cking king, but then the whistle blows, the game ends and they go home. Do you know how often I stayed in the locker room after a game because I just couldn’t face spending the rest of my night in an empty room? The quiet was too raw, Keira. It cut too deep. Those people loved me for 192 minutes and then they went home and forgot about me until the next weekend.

“Then there was you.” Keira bit her lip, inhaling when Kona rubbed his thumb along her cheek. “There’s you, who’d calm me with your fingers in my hair after I wrecked my twenty year old body in a game. There’s you, who raised my boy on your own, who swallowed up all the heartache I gave you and came up from the weight of that with your head held high. You, Keira, who loved me more than anyone ever has, who forgave me, who gives me everything I ask for and never once complains about me wanting more. You don’t forget me and you don’t leave me lonely.”

She closed her eyes, her head shaking. “Kona, you need that attention. You need that spotlight.”

“No. That light is a shadow compared to you, baby. You shine brighter.”

“I can’t ask you to give all that up.”

“It’s done.” Kona shrugged, kissed Keira’s forehead as though the issue was settled. “I called Brian on the way over here. I start at CPU in a month.” Her mouth fell open and Kona reached for her jaw, closed it with his curled finger. “I lost you once, Keira. It cost me decades. It cost me a lifetime of memories with you, with my son. I’m not doing that shit again.” She didn’t flinch away or refuse Kona’s mouth as he lowered it, as he took her lips. “I won’t lose my always. I messed up and you ran. I told you, baby, I’ll never stop following after you. It’s pointless to keep running. I’ll find you. I’ll always find you.”





He was naked on top of her.