More Than Friends (Friends, #2)(78)

“Oh. Wow.” Livvy leans back in her chair, staring at me. “He kissed you?”

I nod, the tears threatening to spill again. I press my lips together, desperate to keep it together. “And then I told him we had to stop.”

“You made him stop.”

“I had to. He won’t commit to me, Liv. I can’t be with someone who runs so hot and cold. He doesn’t trust me, and that means I can’t trust him either.” I don’t tell her everything Jordan said to me. That’s private.

“You’re never going to get over him if you two keep doing this. Trust me, I should know.” Yeah, she should, what with her Ryan and Dustin love triangle. “Once Dustin and I stopped doing whatever it was we were doing, I was able to focus on Ryan. And that’s exactly what I needed.”

“You’re not telling me to forget about Tuttle so I can focus on Eli, are you?” I am horrified at the thought.

“No.” Livvy shakes her head, laughing a little. “Absolutely not. He’s not the right distraction for you. But you do need to move on from Tuttle. He’s only hurting you, Amanda. I hate to see you in pain. As hard as that is to hear, you’re never going to get over him if you don’t eventually meet someone else.”

“I don’t want to be with someone else.” I want to be with Jordan.

Okay, that thought makes the tears flow. I wipe at my cheeks, frustrated at my lack of control, and when I glance up, I catch sight of Tuttle standing near the refrigerator, frozen in place as he watches me.

I stare back, letting him see me in all of my pitiful glory. Maybe he’ll come running over to me. He’ll pull me into his arms and tell me it’ll be okay and then we’ll be back to normal. He’ll say he trusts me and I’ll trust him, and then eventually I’ll admit I love him, and he’ll repeat the same words to me. He can be my first, and we’ll be the perfect high school couple.

But none of that happens. I’m living in a complete fantasy world. Tuttle turns away and exits the kitchen, his retreating back reminding me that I’m a fool.

A total fool.





I spent the night at Liv’s Friday and while we groaned and bitched at getting up so early this morning, we did make it to the caf by nine. Both of us are clutching venti PSLs in one hand and a warmed croissant in the other, surveying the mess that is the cafeteria.

“We are total clichés living the high school dream,” Liv mutters just before she takes a big chug of her coffee. “Who the hell is in charge of this nightmare anyway?”

That would be yearbook editor Elaine Kingston. She’s barely five feet tall, but she is a powerhouse of organizational skills and a take-no-bullshit attitude.

And she is nowhere to be seen.

“Don’t tell me we’re going to have to take over this project.” I’m still half-asleep, and it feels like no amount of Starbucks coffee is going to get me going. I didn’t sleep that great. Kept having weird nightmares with Tuttle in the starring role. The last one was the worst. Would you like to hear about it? I know people telling you their dreams can be kind of boring, but this is a good one.

I promise.

I’m at the Halloween carnival, and I’m wandering lost among the rows of games and food booths. There are all of these familiar faces, but not one of them is a real friend. I finally spot Tuttle, and when I run up to him, he grabs hold of me and kisses me. Right in front of everyone, and they all start cheering.

But when I pull away, it’s not Jordan holding me any longer—it’s Eli. He has this evil grin on his face and then he starts laughing at me. They all start laughing. It’s all I can hear, the echo of their laughter as I try to struggle out of Eli’s arms. He’s holding on too tight, though, and I can’t get away. No matter how hard I struggle, I can’t get away…

And then I woke up, a sweaty, trembling mess. I glanced at the clock, saw that it was five a.m.—we stumbled into bed around one—and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Yeah. That nightmare is still clinging to me.

“Hey girls!” Elaine’s perky voice breaks through my thoughts and I’m so relieved she’s here, I almost hug her.

“You’re late, Elaine. Sure you’re feeling okay?” Liv teases.

“I’ve been here since eight,” Elaine says with a scowl. She’s holding a clipboard and there’s a pen stuck behind her right ear. She’s wearing a black T-shirt with a witch on a broom on the front and it says, Yes, I can drive a stick.

“Nice shirt,” I tell her.

The scowl disappears and she smiles. “Thanks, Amanda. How long are you girls staying today?”

“I’m here as long as you need me, though I have to drive Amanda to work,” Livvy answers.

“I have to leave around 10:45,” I tell Elaine.

“Less than two hours for you, then. Hmm.” She grabs the pen and taps it against her lips. It’s black with tiny orange pumpkins scattered all over it. Girl has some serious Halloween spirit going on. “I’m going to have the boys start hanging the black tarps right away. Help direct them and then come see me when you’re done.”

She bustles off to go boss someone else around.

“Let’s go, soldier.” Liv snaps her fingers, and we’re off.