More Than Friends (Friends, #2)(65)

But if I went to her right now and asked her to hook me up with her gyno so I could get on the pill? She would lose her freaking mind.

I have a sudden thought and decide to ask Liv.



Do you give Ryan a BJ with him wearing a condom?



Ha! What a question. I’m on a roll.



Um, no. I thought only hookers did that.



Where do you come up with this stuff?



I watch HBO. They have all of those old Hookers on the Point documentaries. I’ve watched a few.



I have no idea what she’s talking about, so whatever.



IMO, giving a blowjob is a sign of trust. He’s trusting you to put your mouth on his dick. You’re trusting him by putting your mouth on his dick. Cuz seriously, it’s weird when you think about it. If he can’t trust you or worse, he asks you to use a condom while you’re blowing him, that is just odd. Time to move on to the next one, you know? You deserve better than some guy who acts like that.



That was the longest text Liv has ever sent me.



Where are you anyway?



Study hall. Where are you? English with Tuttle?



I check on him again. He’s still staring at his stupid iPad.



Yeah. Working on our project.



And you’re talking about BJs with him sitting next to you? So brave.



I’m trying to come up with a good response when she sends something else.



Did that happen with you and Tuttle? Did he ask you to use a condom before you blew him!!??



No, not at all. But the BJ part…



OMG spill woman!



Let’s just say I gave him a BJ and I haven’t really talked to him since. Until now.



Ummm, I hate to say this.



NM.



You can’t leave me like that. Tell me.



I don’t want to hurt your feelings or worry you Amanda, but that’s totally his MO.



What do you mean?



He gets a BJ and then he disappears like a ghost.



But he would never do that to you! At least, he better not.



Or I’m going to kick his ass.



Oh! I’ll have Ryan kick his ass for me. For YOU.



We’re here for you babe. Promise.



Her texts only confirm my worst fears.





I’m about to go to out to football practice when I hear someone call my name. I turn to find Liv running toward me, her cheeks pink from exertion or making out with Ryan, I’m not sure which.

“I made an appointment for us,” she tells me once she catches her breath.

I frown. “An appointment for what?”

“Planned Parenthood!”

Wow, she said that extremely loud. I give her a stern look and she winces, realizing her mistake. “Tomorrow at four. Well, I’m at four, you’re at four-thirty,” she says at a much lower decibel.

“What exactly are we going to, uh, PP for?” I told her I didn’t need to get on the pill. There’s no point. I’m not having sex, so I won’t get pregnant. And after the way Jordan treated me in class, how he bolted out of his seat the moment the bell rang, completely ignoring me, I have a sinking feeling that whatever we had, whatever we’d been working toward?

It’s all over.

My heart aches. So does my head. I’m so confused. I want to chase after him. I want to kick his ass. I can’t make up my mind which way to go.

But I plan on soldiering on. I don’t really have a choice, do I? “Please, cancel my appointment,” I tell her. “I gotta go. I’ll text you later.”

“Amanda.” She grabs my arm, preventing me from leaving. “Come with me, okay? I need—I really need the support. And I’ll support you, I promise. You may as well go to the appointment and get on the pill. Then you’ll be safe. We’ll both be safe.”

I see the fear in her gaze and I realize she is truly freaked out over the condom breaking with Ryan. And she really wants me to be there for her. “I have football practice tomorrow. And I have it right now. I’m gonna be late.”

She makes a face. “What? You’ve joined the team now?”

“Kyla asked me to help her with the hydration station. She doesn’t like working it alone.”

“Please, Amanda,” Livvy says, sounding desperate. “I really need you to go with me. Can’t you tell her you have an appointment and you can’t make it tomorrow?”

I feel like that’s all I do lately. Make excuses to please someone else. I’m doing this water girl thing for Tuttle. Well, I did it for myself to get closer to Tuttle, but look how well that worked for me. We’re back at square one. No, it’s worse than square one. We started to advance and make real, actual progress, but now we’ve ended up in this weird limbo place where it’s awkward and uncomfortable and we look at each other like we’ve seen each other naked because, oh yeah, we have seen each other naked before. And now it’s just weird.

And awkward.

And awful.

“Hey, did you ever talk to Em like you said you would?” I ask her.