Mindsiege (Mindspeak #2)(62)

I roamed around the gym. I tried out the large punching bag with a side kick, all the while keeping thoughts of Jack out of my mind. I would have to turn myself over to the IIA—to Sandra. That was the only way. For both Dani’s and Addison’s survival. I threw a punch and another kick.

“Very nice. You up for a workout? Maybe we can work on concentration techniques while practicing some self-defense.”

I shrugged. “Okay.” I massaged my chest where panic slowly swelled in my heart. I had to keep my thoughts in line. The last time I tried this, Jonas took over my mind, and Jack put me on my back. I had to focus on learning everything I could about the trackers, while keeping a constant lookout for signs of Jonas and Ty. Somehow I had to convince Jonas to take me back inside The Farm.

We began with a regular kickboxing workout. Instead of punching and kicking air, Jonas wore thick gloves. I kicked and punched his hands, taking out pent-up frustration on innocent pieces of padded leather.

Eventually, our workout morphed into Jonas showing me what to do if someone grabbed me from behind. He also reminded me of the various vulnerable parts of the body. My hands and feet, and other parts of my body, became weapons.

As we worked, I practiced erecting walls and barriers around my thoughts. I attempted techniques Jack taught me for keeping him out of my head. I had used all of these techniques before, though. And they hadn’t worked with Jonas.

“You’re going about this all wrong, you know,” he said, sliding the padded gloves back on.

I aimed a side kick into Jonas’s left hand. He grabbed my leg and twisted. I went down hard.

He let go immediately, and I sprung back to my feet ready for a fight. “Why did you do that?” I wanted to kick him again, this time straight to the face.

“Because you were concentrating so hard on keeping me out, you stopped paying attention to the opponent in front of you.”

I used my forearm to push hair out of my face. “So, what am I doing wrong?”

“Remember earlier when you found me inside your head, and you squished me out? You imagined crushing me with your bare hands, and that’s exactly what you did with my invasion into your thoughts.”

“Okay, but that took work. I need to be able to keep you and others out at all times. Even when I’m physically busy with something else.”

“Right. And you’re fully capable of doing so. You’ve proven this. You just don’t know how to shut others out on command.”

“And you do?”

“Of course I do.” He tilted his head side to side. “Well, except people controlled by the IIA. But I’m getting better at it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, the more I study your thoughts, Jack’s ability to shield you, and my power over you…”—he winked at the last part, sending an angry fire straight up my back and neck—“…I’m convinced that the tracker at the base of my skull has intensified my ability to control you. And that’s exactly what Sandra wanted. But it has also allowed Ty deeper into my mind.” He took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Until I figure out a way to remove the trackers and destroy Sandra’s path into our minds, we have to do our best to block access, or at least recognize when another invades, so we can choose not to follow.”

“The deeper Ty gets into your mind, the deeper you get into mine,” I said, mostly to myself. I leaned against a metal pole and massaged the bridge of my nose while processing what he was saying. I wasn’t sure who was responsible for manipulating my mind more: Sandra, Ty, or Jonas. “Why haven’t you shown me how to keep you out? You said you would.”

“Maybe because I like being inside your head and experiencing what you’re thinking and feeling.”

Maybe it’s because you still want to kill me. This was exactly why Jack didn’t want me with Jonas. I was sometimes too honest.

Jonas laughed. Then his face softened, his eyes narrowed. “If you really believed I wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t be here. Besides, Jack might not trust me, but not because he thinks I might kill you.” Pulling the gloves off and tossing them aside, he stepped closer to me.

I held up a hand to stop him, and he pressed his chest into it. My heart leapt into my throat. My mouth went dry. I was not getting into this subject with him while he could read all of my thoughts. I couldn’t even admit to myself what I was thinking for fear Jonas might hear me. “You’re not going to teach me how to shut people out of my head, are you?”

“Why would you say that, Lexi?” Jonas frowned. His hand traveled up and covered my hand resting on his chest. “You still believe I’m trying to hurt you?”

“Maybe not harm me physically, but every time you… or Ty… force me to do something against my will, you hurt me. Every time you sneak in and around my head, you hurt me.” The muscles in Jonas’s face drooped. Maybe I had said too much. “I’m sorry, Jonas. Sandra expects me to surrender to her tomorrow. It would be nice to know how to block Ty and anyone else trying to get inside my head.” And yes, that includes you.

Fifteen seconds passed. The amber specks in Jonas’s eyes reflected the overhead lights. Pulling my hand away, I shifted under his scrutiny.

He backed up and scrubbed both hands over his face and into his hair. When he finally looked at me again, I saw a vulnerability I’d never seen in him before. “Fine. Let’s get started.”