Micah Johnson Goes West (Get Out, #2)(52)

“Just tell me one thing,” Joanne said.

“Okay.”

“Would this help you, if we do this? Or would we make it worse?”

His mum and dad looked at him expectantly. Honesty was required here, but to be honest meant being selfish. Perhaps the most selfish he had ever been in his life. And Alex was already pretty self-aware about how he always had to take a back seat to Micah’s demands.

“Micah,” his dad said, prompting an answer from him.

“Yes,” he said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “I think it would. Help me, I mean.”

It turned out honesty could relieve your burden.




WHEN SAM had arranged previously to pick him up from the airport, Micah bet he didn’t know what was awaiting him as they drove home. They ended up pulling over on the Reid Highway, the cars whizzing past them at frightening speeds as Micah told him the same (almost entirely honest) story of his life since the beginning of the year.

“Please say something,” Micah said, when Sam remained silent.

“I am supposed to be your… mentor, for lack of a better word.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” For the first time since he had come to stay with the Mitchells, Micah saw an angry Sam. Sure, he had seen “angry” Sam on the field, but it had never been directed at him. “Because I have done everything I could to make you feel at home, Micah, ever since you got here. You’ve been slipping by the wayside, and you’ve never come to me for help.”

“What could you have done?” Micah shot back. “This was my own self-destructive shit. There’s nothing you could have done to stop me.”

“That’s bullshit. If you’d told me what you were struggling with, I’d have found ways. That’s why we signed up to take you in, so you wouldn’t have these problems. Or if you did, we’d get something sorted to stop it from getting so bad.”

“None of this is on you.” Micah released his seatbelt as it was digging into his neck. “It’s all me.”

“Nice words, but they mean nothing.” Sam sounded tired. “When you’re in my position, whether it’s being a mentor or being a captain yourself one day, I hope you never feel like such a failure in looking after your charge like I do now.”

“It’s not about you.”

“That’s something you have to learn, Micah. No matter what you do to yourself, it affects others.”

Micah stared out the window. The cars on the freeway were just streaks of light and noise, and they never stopped coming. Sam’s words sunk in, as they were so painfully true. Right now, his parents were probably still talking about him, and mulling over the logistics of everything they had said to him that afternoon.

“You’re right,” he told Sam. “Because my family are thinking of moving here.”

“What?”

“They’re going to talk to Alex about it. They think if we’re together that maybe I won’t be as fucked up.”

“That’s huge. They really love you.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

“That’s ridiculous. Of course you do.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Well, that’s another thing you’re going to have to work on.” Sam started the car again.

Micah put out his hand and rested it on Sam’s arm, to stop him from putting the car into gear. “Wait a minute. You say I never came to you for help. I’m asking now.”

Sam leaned back into his seat. “Okay. Shoot.”

“I was talking about it with my mum and dad today. Even if they move out here, I want to stay with you.”

“Isn’t that kind of defeating the point of them moving to Perth?”

“They agree, if you do. I think I should live out of home, but I still need stability. And I love your family. You’ve all been so good to me.”

“Except Dane.”

“That goes without saying.” Micah gave a small grin.

“Just one thing. When Dane was saying I didn’t know what you were getting up to, how did he know?”

Micah shrugged. It was a mystery that was bothering him as well. “Maybe it was easier to pick up on it because we shared the same space. Your parents are on the ground floor and you and Maia have your own space. Dane’s room is right next to mine practically.”

Sam shrugged. “Dane keeps things close to his chest.”

“Yeah, well I know a lot about that.”

“I don’t think I need to state the obvious here. So. A new start, huh?”

“Yes.” Micah clicked his seatbelt back into place. “I will finally let you be my mentor.”

“What an honour,” Sam said. “Can we go to our home now?”

His emphasis on the word gave Micah the response he needed. It was the first time his smile had felt genuine all week. “Sure.”




THEY HAD sat talking in the car for a little while longer after Sam had pulled into the driveway, but tiredness soon overcame them and they said their good nights before heading for their separate parts of the house.

Music was coming from Dane’s room, and the light was still shining from beneath the door. Micah couldn’t help thinking of what Sam had said, and how he and Dane were quite similar in bottling things up and revelling in their own self-destructiveness—the major difference was Micah usually internalised it (quite different to last year) while Dane was taking it out on the people around him.