Loveless (Osemanverse #10)(101)
‘I don’t get why so many teen movies are about teenagers who are obsessed with losing their virginity,’ I said. ‘Like … who actually cares?’
Pip and Rooney said nothing for a moment.
‘Well, I think quite a lot of teenagers do care about it,’ said Rooney. ‘Take Pip, for example.’
‘Excuse me!’ Pip exclaimed. ‘I don’t – I’m not obsessed with losing my virginity!’
‘Sure you’re not.’
‘I just think having sex would be fun, that’s all.’ Pip faced the screen again, going a little red. ‘I don’t care about being a virgin, I just – sex seems fun, so I’d like to start having it sooner rather than later.’
Rooney looked over at her. ‘I mean, I was joking, but that’s good to know too.’
Pip went even redder and stammered, ‘Shut up.’
‘But why are, like, most teen movies focused around the fact that teenagers feel like they’re going to die if they don’t lose their virginity?’ I asked, then almost immediately figured out what the answer was. ‘Oh. This is an asexual thing.’ I laughed at myself. ‘I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex. Wow. That’s really funny.’
I suddenly realised both Rooney and Pip were gazing at me with small smiles on their faces. Not pitying or patronising. Just kind of like they were happy for me.
I guess it was a development that I could laugh about my sexuality. That had to be progress, right?
‘It’s a good movie, but I think it’d be better if the main romance was gay,’ said Pip.
‘Agreed,’ said Rooney, and we looked at her.
‘I thought you’d be into this sort of adorable post-John-Hughes hetero romance,’ said Pip. ‘The straights eat this shit up.’
‘They do,’ Rooney agreed, ‘but fortunately I’m not straight, so, yeah.’
There was a long, long silence.
‘O-oh,’ Pip choked. ‘Well – well, that’s good then.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Yeah.’
We finished the rest of the movie in extremely awkward silence. And when it was done, I knew it was time for me to go. To step away and let this happen.
They tried to get me to stay, but I insisted. I needed to sleep, I told them. They could go through their last scene on their own.
I guess I felt a little lonely as I walked out of Castle. I walked down the corridors, out of Pip’s block, across the green and back towards St John’s. It was dark and cold at nearly 1 a.m. I was alone.
I was alone now.
When I got back to my room, I put Universe City on YouTube while I changed into my PJs, took my contacts out, brushed my teeth, and checked on Roderick, who really did seem to be doing better these days. And then I snuggled into my half of the bed, wrapping the covers round me.
I fell asleep for half an hour but woke up in a sweat, my mind filled with flashes of nightmares about apocalyptic futures and all my friends dying, and rolled my head automatically to check for Rooney, but she wasn’t there.
It was harder to fall back to sleep when she wasn’t there.
I woke up with my head feeling like TV static and a stomach full of bees, which was a given for show day. But none of that compared to the feeling of dread that washed over me as I checked my phone to find I had a huge stream of messages from Pip.
The first ones read:
Felipa Quintana
GEORGIA
EMERGENCY
I’VE FUCKED UP
ROONEY HAS GONE
Felipa Quintana
Okay I know it’s 7am and you’re definitely asleep but oh my god you are going to murder me when I explain what just happened
Oh my GOD sflkgjsdfhlgkj okay
WOW
Sorry I literally cannot process
Okay. right. so
Everything was fine last night, like, once you left we just went through our last scene.
(I mean fine by our standards, like obviously talking to her is just full of tension every time)
But by the time we finished it was suuuper late, it was like 3am so I offered to let her sleep in my room – as in, in my bed with me – and she said YES
This was definitely not a good idea because I did not sleep for one SINGLE minute my dude
She woke up again at like 5am and went to get some water, and when she got back I knew she could tell I was awake so we just started talking while lying in bed
And idk if it was because we were just tired or what but like … it was different, we weren’t bantering, we were just talking about stuff. Like first about the play and then about our lives at school and all sorts of deep shit. She told me … man we talked about a lot of really personal stuff for like … at least an hour, maybe more
She told me she thinks she’s pansexual!!!!! She said she just doesn’t think she really has a gender preference and that felt like the right word for her!!!! She said you already kinda knew about it
We’d been talking for ages and then we were just quiet for a while and then she was like – and I QUOTE – she literally said ‘I know it seems like I hate you but it’s actually the opposite’
Georgia, I died
I was like ‘yeah . . . . . . . . me too’ while trying not to actually scream
And then she just leaned in and KISSED ME