Lies I Told(40)

My mom nodded, heading for the dishwasher. “I’ll show you how to work the alarm keypad before you go. It’s pretty simple.”

“Great.”

“What are you up to tonight?” she asked.

“I’m going to the beach with Selena, and then we’re going to grab something to eat,” I said.

She raised her eyebrows. “No Logan?”

“We’re going out tomorrow night.” I couldn’t tell her that I needed a break from Logan. Not because I didn’t like him, but because I had to brace myself to see him, prepare myself for the war raging almost constantly in my head. The battle between heart and head, a battle that only had one possible outcome.

“That’s nice,” she said. “Probably better to not to be too available anyway. Keep him interested.”

I gave her a halfhearted smile as she ran the tap in the kitchen sink.

“What about Rachel and the other girls?” she asked, loading a few glasses into the dishwasher. “I thought you were focusing on them?”

Her choice of words was appropriately vague, but I knew what she was getting at: She didn’t think Selena was important. She wasn’t as rich as the others, wasn’t as cemented into the group.

“Selena’s one of us now,” I explained. “Plus, she’s played the role of observer for a long time. You’d be surprised what she knows.”

I hated myself for saying it, even if it was true. My friendship with Selena wasn’t about the con.

My mom nodded. “I can see that.”

“What are you up to?” I asked, eager to deflect attention away from myself.

“There’s a board meeting for PHCT. We’re putting the finishing touches on their annual fund-raiser, which as it turns out, is held at the Fairchild house.”


PHCT was the acronym for the Playa Hermosa Community Theater group. It had become a common topic of conversation around the house ever since my mom had joined the board to get close to Logan’s mom. So far she hadn’t had much luck, and I wondered if Leslie had some kind of bullshit detector that made her suspicious of my mom. Deep down, I think I was rooting for Leslie, hoping she would somehow steer clear of the toxic manipulation that was part of every con.

“That sounds nice,” I said.

My mom laughed. “If hanging out with a bunch of bored housewives is what you consider nice.”

Isn’t that what you are? I thought. I bit it back, shaking my head against the tide of hostility that that seemed to be seeping from my pores, leaking like an oil spill contaminating the waters of my relationship with my mom. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. Nothing the rest of us weren’t doing, anyway.

I reached over and gave her a spontaneous hug, startling her as she shut the door to the dishwasher.

She laughed. “What’s that for?”

“Just a reminder that I love you.”

“I love you, too, Gracie.” She gave me a squeeze and smoothed my hair. “Have fun tonight.”

I grabbed my bag and the keys to the Saab and headed outside. I had no idea where Parker was, but he’d left the car, so I figured it was fair game. I was almost to the driveway when I heard the crooning from next door.



They said someday you’ll find

All who love are blind.



I hesitated, feeling the draw of the fence. Why was I compelled to look? The man next door had nothing to do with me. With us.

I hurried past the fence and to the car.

After I picked up Selena, we headed to the Cove. I parked, and we snaked our way down the cliff and stepped onto the empty beach. The sky was heavy with clouds. They hung over the ocean, turning the water steely gray, blocking out what little sunlight remained in the day. I zipped up my jacket and stuffed my hands in the pockets.

“It’s quiet,” I said.

She nodded. “It’s the weather. And the time of year. After October, everyone kind of hunkers down for the winter.”

I laughed. “It’s not like it’s super cold or anything.”

She smiled. “Says the girl from San Francisco.”

It was a reminder of my betrayal, and my laughter faltered. “So what are you saying? You guys are wimps in SoCal?” I joked.

“Basically. Most of the parties will be held indoors now, or on someone’s patio.” She looked around as we made our way to the water’s edge. “It’s why I like it so much this time of year.”

I looked around and smiled. The fact that Selena preferred overcast skies and an empty beach was just one more sign that we were kindred spirits.

It was too cold to take off our shoes, and we walked just out of the water’s reach, the rhythm of the waves like a mantra, slowly calming the endless loop in my head. The one that was always rehearsing what to say next, rehashing what had already been said, plotting my next step. Selena’s company helped, too. She had never even asked about Parker, about the way he’d acted at Logan’s party. It was one of the things I loved about her: she had no need to label or define things. They were what they were.

We walked in silence until the Strand, a stretch of concrete that ran all the way from the Cove to Malibu, was in sight. Then we turned around and headed back the way we came.

“I think about her a lot when I come here,” Selena suddenly said.