Lessons from a Dead Girl(17)

“Well, Laine, if you’re not going to hold his hand, I guess I’ll have to,” she says cheerfully. She sits back in her chair, keeping hold of Jeffrey’s hand.

He doesn’t pull it away.

“What’s your problem?” Leah says to me after the movie.

Jeffrey had muttered a “See ya” and fled as soon as we got to the lobby.

I’m not sure if he wanted to rush off to tell his friends that he’d just held hands with Leah Greene for two hours, or if he simply wanted to get away from us. One thing I’m sure of, though: I won’t be getting any more messages from him. He probably thinks I’m a freak.

“I don’t have a problem,” I tell Leah. She shrugs and keeps walking.

“Why did you do that, anyway?” I ask when we get outside to the parking lot.

She turns away, like she’s scoping out the scene. “Do what?”

“You know what.”

“Oh, Laine, grow up.” She looks around the parking lot, then at me and my pathetic outfit. She pulls at her halter to show more of her chest. “It’s not like you were going to do anything with him.”

“How do you know!”

“He’s a guy.”

My cheeks burn. “I liked him, Leah. And you ruined it!”

She laughs. “I didn’t ruin anything. I saved you. If he really liked you, he would have held your hand. Or were you jealous?”

“Jealous?” I want to scream at her.

“Did you want to hold my hand, too?” She smiles at me in a sickeningly sweet way.

I’m so upset, I don’t know what to say.

“Mommy’s here,” she says before I get the chance to think of something.

My mother is waiting for us in my dad’s pickup truck. It has a big rust spot on the passenger side.

“Your dad needs a new truck,” Leah complains before she opens the door.

“Maybe you should buy him one,” I say.

The door creaks when she opens it.

I imagine her falling under the truck and telling my mother to step on the gas.

Leah holds open the door so I can climb in. She always does that. It makes her look like she’s being polite, but really it’s so she can get in last and sit by the window.

“How was the movie, girls?” my mother asks.

“I thought it was pretty good. What did you think, Lainey?” Leah pauses, but not long enough for me to answer. “Or were you too busy watching something else?”

I glare at Leah.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” my mother asks.

“Nothing,” I answer. “The movie was fine.”

I move closer to my mom so Leah isn’t touching me. I clench my teeth together and try to keep my hands from making fists.

I hate her, I think. I hate her so much. Screw Mr. Mitchell and his stupid tests and theories. Or don’t — so what if I don’t understand Leah? I don’t want to! It’s easier to hate. That’s what Mr. Mitchell told us. That’s why so many people do it, he said.

OK, Mr. Mitchell. Fine. You figure her out, then. Right now, I’d rather just hate her.





When school gets out, I wait to see if Leah will call me, but she doesn’t. I don’t call her, either. I spend most of the summer alone or hanging out with Christi when she’ll lower herself to be seen with me. None of the girls from our group call me. I always knew Leah was the only one they cared about. It’s OK, though. I’d rather be lonely than deal with Leah Greene or any of her followers.

When school starts again, I make a point of keeping my distance from Leah, and since I haven’t run into her, I assume she’s trying hard not to see me, either.

Then one Friday my mother stops Christi and me as we’re heading out the door for school and tells us that Leah is coming over to spend the night.

I try to tell my mother that Leah and I aren’t friends anymore, but she won’t change her mind. “Mrs. Greene needs this favor, Lainey,” she says. “She doesn’t trust anyone else.”

Christi rolls her eyes.

“Mom, please! Can’t you call her back and make up an excuse?” I plead.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Lainey,” my mom says. “One night won’t kill you.”

“But —”

“Listen,” my mom says, all annoyed. “Mrs. Greene has been having a lot of trouble with Leah lately and doesn’t want to leave her alone. It’s just one night. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not crazy about this, either!”

“But, Mom. I haven’t talked to Leah in months.”

“Well, maybe if you two had stayed close, Leah wouldn’t be so —”

My mouth drops open. I can’t believe she’s actually going to blame me for Leah’s problems.

“Nice, Mom,” Christi says for me. “You should be grateful Lainey doesn’t hang out with Leah anymore.”

“I’m just saying,” my mom says, faltering. “Mrs. Greene is afraid to leave Leah alone, and I think we owe it to them after all the things they’ve done for Lainey over the years.”

“Whatever,” I say. I will never get why my mother thinks she needs to impress Mrs. Greene. Obviously, they will never be friends.