Lady Smoke (Ash Princess Trilogy #2)(88)

Sandrin looks bewildered, but something flashes in Mina’s eyes.

“This person,” she says. “Would they—hypothetically of course—be around your age?”

“Yes,” I say. “Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“There was a phenomenon starting, just before the siege. Rumors and reports of children with gifts—small gifts, nothing like a Guardian’s power, not even like mine. A mother once told me her son’s temper tantrum had caused a glass of water to tip over. Another swore her daughter cried the leaves off of one of their trees. It was all secondhand accounts, things that could have been caused by other things. But there was a pattern forming. Before we could dig too deep into it, the Kalovaxians came.”

There could be others like me. The idea is both blinding and comforting.

“Did you learn anything else before they came?” I ask.

Mina shakes her head. “But if this hypothetical friend of yours ever wants to find answers, I may be able to help them.”

Part of me wants to ask her for help right here and now, but I hold my tongue. It isn’t the most pressing concern. I’m fine and I haven’t had any real outbursts since the ship. Though I know better, I can’t help but hope that whatever was happening to me has gone away on its own.

“Thank you,” I say instead.





THE RIDE BACK TO THE capital is harder than the ride out. The sun is high in the sky, beating down so hard I can feel it burning my skin even through my clothes. We have to stop halfway, beneath the meager shade of a group of large boulders. Artemisia uses her gift to produce a stream of water for each of us to drink, but even her powers are faltering in the dry heat and the effort leaves her winded. She sits down, leaning against the side of the boulder.

“I just need a few minutes,” she says, but she barely manages to finish the sentence before dozing off.

We decide to rest in the shade ourselves and wake her in half an hour. With Mina’s words still haunting me, I take the opportunity to follow Blaise when he goes to check the horses, even though the idea of leaving the shade is nearly unbearable.

“Do you need help with anything?” I ask him as he gives the horses the last of the water to drink.

“No, I’ve got it,” he says, not looking at me. “You should stay in the shade.”

“I found someone in the camp,” I tell him, the words rushing out before I can stop them. “Someone who studied the mines and the magic in them.”

He glances at me, brow furrowing. “Did you tell them about me?”

“No,” I lie. “I just asked about Crescentia, like I told you I would.”

Blaise nods, though his eyes are still troubled. “And?” he asks.

I tell him about Mina and the theories she and Sandrin shared about the gods and the mines. I tell him about the boiling water and what it meant—that he wasn’t quite mine-mad, and that if he kept calm and didn’t use his power, he could stay that way. I tell him that he isn’t the first, that there have been others, but that they worked themselves to death. Blaise stays quiet while I talk, running his hands over each horse’s back to spread the extra water to cool them down.

I lay my hand on top of his and squeeze, smiling so widely my face hurts. “So all you have to do is refrain from using your gift,” I say. “You’ll be all right. You’ll survive it.”

But Blaise doesn’t seem to share my relief. Instead, his mouth twists down and he avoids looking at me. My eyes search for the bracelet I gave him—the one I stole from Cress with the hundreds of tiny Earth Gems, but I can’t find it.

“Where’s the bracelet?” I ask him.

He reaches into the pocket of his trousers and retrieves it. In the bright light of the afternoon sun, the brown gems glow.

“You shouldn’t wear it anymore,” I say. “It adds to your power. Erik said that when they sent the berserkers into battle, they gave them a gem to ‘push them over the edge.’ I didn’t understand that before, but I think I do now.”

I move to take it from him, but he stops me, his hand wrapping around my wrist.

“Theo,” he says, his voice low. “I need it.”

“You don’t, though,” I say. “It’s only going to make you worse.”

He shakes his head, finally looking at me. “It’s going to make me stronger,” he says, barely louder than a whisper. “Don’t you see? Those Guardians you mentioned—the ones who were like me—they appeared in times of trouble and they were the only ones who could help. You said it yourself.”

“And they died,” I remind him.

“They were heroes who served their country,” he corrects. “That’s what all Guardians are meant to do.”

I twist my arm out of his grasp. “You promised me.” I hear my voice growing higher and higher, but I can’t help it. “You promised me that you would be all right, that we would do whatever we had to, to fix it.”

“To fix me,” he adds quietly. “That’s what you mean. To fix me.”

“To cure the thing that’s killing you,” I correct him.

He doesn’t say anything for a long while, his gaze focused on the sand beneath his feet.

“Who am I without my gift?” he asks finally, his voice so soft I almost don’t hear him. “Because that’s what you’re talking about.”