Lady Smoke (Ash Princess Trilogy #2)(122)

Blaise nods before gently extracting himself from my grip. He looks at me for a moment that seems to go on forever. “I love you, Theo,” he says.

“If you did, you wouldn’t do this,” I say, sharpening each word to a dagger’s point.

He recoils like my words physically hurt him, then turns away from me.

As he makes his way down the mountain, he doesn’t look back once, even though I’m sure he can hear me crying his name until he reaches the bottom.



* * *



—

Erik and Dragonsbane arrive mere moments before the Kalovaxian reinforcements do, and when the troops clash it is a cacophony straight out of a nightmare. Metal clangs against metal, screams pierce the air, battle cries mix and mingle until I’m not sure whose are whose. All of it bounces and echoes off the mountains so that it surrounds me. The scene before my eyes is a blur of bodies and blood that seems to go on forever, but I only watch one figure in particular.

It should be hard to find Blaise at this distance, with nothing to differentiate him the way Artemisia’s hair distinguishes her, but it isn’t. Even in the madness, I find him easily, sword in hand and a wildness to his every move that is terrifying.

S?ren doesn’t say anything when I can’t stop crying. He seems a bit frightened of me, keeping a careful distance and pretending he doesn’t notice. I realize distantly that he hasn’t been around many crying women. When my sobs finally do quiet, he allows himself to speak.

“Blaise is reckless, but he isn’t stupid,” he says. Though the words are clipped, he seems to be trying to sound compassionate. “He will be all right.”

“He’s not in control of what happens,” I say, wiping my eyes. I remember the earthquake in Sta’Crivero, how close he came to losing all control before I pulled him back from that edge. Who will pull him back if it happens now? Artemisia will put a sword in his back if she thinks he’s more of a danger to our army than the Kalovaxians. She will even think it’s a mercy.

S?ren shrugs. “He seems to have more control than any berserker I’ve seen. A few slips don’t mean that using his power will kill him.”

I know he’s right, but it doesn’t bring me much comfort.

Blaise left me, after everything. After everyone I’ve loved and lost, I can’t lose him, too.

“Theo,” S?ren says.

“I’m fine,” I tell him, wiping my eyes again.

“It isn’t that,” he says, his words tentative. “I think…I think my father is here.”

That shocks me out of my thoughts. “What?” I ask, blinking away unshed tears. “The Kaiser never goes to battle.”

“He isn’t fighting,” he says, squinting into the distance. “He’s watching, like we are. And I think Crescentia is with him.”

Cress. My heart lurches in my chest and I hurry to S?ren’s side, peering in the same direction he is.

“There,” he says, pointing. “That mountain range, the cliff. Do you see?”

I do. They are difficult to miss in their ornate chairs that must have taken a good portion of the Kalovaxian army to bring all this way. There is even a red silk canopy above their heads, to shield them from the sun. As if it’s some kind of festivity they’re witnessing instead of a battle. I can’t see their faces, but that’s just as well.

“Why would he come all this way?” I ask him.

S?ren thinks about it for a moment. “Because you embarrassed him by escaping,” he says. “Because he wants to see you destroyed.”

My stomach sours. “Well, he won’t,” I say. “It’s a shame you aren’t a more skilled archer, S?ren. We could end this here and now.”

S?ren shakes his head. “Even if I could make the shot, my father isn’t stupid. I’m sure he’s as armored as he can be. We can’t let them see us, though,” he says, taking a step back into the shade of the mountain and pulling me with him. “He’ll send men here to take us.”

I nod, heart thundering in my chest.

“S?ren, can you promise me something?”

He looks at me, perplexed, but nods. “What is it?”

I swallow. “If they do come for us, if it looks like they’re going to take us—I want you to kill me.”

His eyes widen. “Theo, no,” he says.

“I won’t be his prisoner again, S?ren. You can do it or I’ll throw myself over these cliffs, though I’d imagine that would be far more painful than if you did it, so I’m asking you.”

S?ren holds my gaze for a long moment before nodding once. “If it comes to it,” he says, though I’m not sure I believe him.



* * *



—

S?ren and I huddle together, pressed against the mountain for hours, until the battlefield falls silent.

“Is it over?” I ask.

S?ren looks confused. “I can’t imagine so,” he says. “Wait a moment.”

He slides onto his stomach and crawls to the edge of the cliff, peering over to the battlefield below before glancing back at me.

“They’re flying a flag, the fighting’s stopped,” he says, his eyebrows tightly knit.

“Surrender?” I ask, surprised. Even in my sweetest dreams, I’d never imagined a surrender this easy.