Instructions for Dancing(68)

I wrote this book during one of the hardest times in my life. My mom was very sick. For more than a year and a half, we weren’t sure if she would make it. My father-in-law was told he had a terminal illness. He died a year later. If you’ve ever cared for a seriously ill or grieving loved one, you know what this is. You know how illness and death remakes the world. At the very least, it introduces you to a shadow world, one made of endless doctor’s visits and of 3:00 a.m. phone calls followed by lonely 3:05 a.m. drives to the hospital. You know what it is to hold someone in your arms and make promises you don’t know if you can keep. And promises you absolutely know you cannot.



Throughout this process—this remaking of my world—I wrote. Writing has always saved me, and I thought it would again. Most of what I wrote during this time was not good. In particular, I wrote a book (the never-to-be-published precursor to this one) that was just okay. I rewrote it for a while, but it was not meant to be. I wrote a lot of other things that were also not meant to be. It turns out I couldn’t write my way through this period—I could only live my way through it. Finally, two and half years after the publication of my previous book, I started on the one you’re holding in your hands. I’ve never fought harder for a book, and I’m very proud of it.

And now for the part that always makes me cry as I write it:

Thanks to every nurse, doctor, security guard, janitor, parking lot attendant, receptionist, every everybody who helps take care of the sick and dying. Thanks for being kind to a lost and grieving daughter and daughter-in-law.

Thanks to my teams at Alloy Entertainment and Random House Children’s books: John Adamo, Shameiza Ally, Josh Bank, Matt Bloomgarden, Emily Bruce, Ken Crossland, Elysa Dutton, Colleen Fellingham, Felicia Frazier, Gina Girolamo, Becky Green, Romy Golan, Judith Haut, Beverly Horowitz, Alison Impey, Christina Jeffries, Kimberly Langus, Wendy Loggia, Barbara Marcus, Les Morgenstern, Amy Myer, Alison Romig, Mark Santella, Tamar Schwartz, Tim Terhune, Adrienne Waintraub and publicist extraordinaire Jillian Vandall. Thanks also to Judy Bass and my indefatigable agent, Jodi Reamer. You guys are rock stars, and nothing happens without you.



An extra-special shout-out to my editor, Wendy Loggia, for being patient and kind on top of everything else she is. Another special shout-out to Martha Rago and Neil Swaab for the gorgeous cover design, Jyotirmayee Patra for the lovely hand lettering and Renike for the stunning illustration. And still more extra-special shout-outs to Joelle Hobeika and Sara Shandler, who believed in me and believed in me and believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

During times of stress, I tend to retreat from the world. The hugest of thank-yous to David Jung and Sabaa Tahir, who made me talk when all I wanted to do was hide. I love you guys a lot.

Thanks to my mom and dad and sister and niece just for being.

Thanks to my little girl, Penny, for noticing the way rain changes the colors of the world. You are pure magic and I love being your mama.

And, finally, thanks to my husband, David Yoon. I’m the luckiest because I get to adventure through this life with you. I love you forever.





ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Nicola Yoon is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers The Sun Is Also a Star and Everything, Everything, both of which have been turned into major motion pictures. She grew up in Jamaica and Brooklyn and lives in Los Angeles with her husband, novelist David Yoon, and their daughter. She’s also a hopeless romantic who firmly believes that you can fall in love in an instant and that it can last forever.