Instructions for Dancing(43)

“Because it doesn’t make sense. Even if your guess is right and they break up and screw everything up, look at all the time you’re missing with them right now.” He turns and stares down the street like there’s something out there he’s been hoping to see. “People don’t come back, Evie. The time we get is the time we get.” His voice is urgent, like he really needs me to understand the thing he’s trying to tell me. He’d give anything to have another day with Clay.

I take a step down and wrap my arms around his waist. It takes him a few seconds before he puts his arms around me too.

“I’ll think about what you said,” I say.

“Was this our first argument?” he asks.

“I think so.”

“Wasn’t too bad,” he says, grinning down at me.

I smile back up at him. “We can try harder next time.”





CHAPTER 34





I Got You, Babe



I WAKE UP knowing what I have to do. It’s Sunday, which means it’s Surf City Waffle brunch day. When I text Martin to tell him I’m going to meet them there, he says to go to Cassidy’s house instead. Sophie didn’t want to go to SCW if we weren’t all going to be together. I get on my bike and try not to think about all the togethers we’re going to miss in the future. X’s words from last night come back to me. The time we get is the time we get.

The first time I ever visited Cassidy’s house in Beverly Hills, I was in middle school. Her house is so big I remember thinking that Dad had gotten the address wrong and taken me to a hotel or country club. But no.

I ring the bell and Martin answers the door. Instead of hello, he says, “Just warning you, they’re still pretty mad.”

“How mad is pretty mad?”

“Be prepared to offer up one of your organs,” he says, and closes the door behind me.

“Who’s angrier?”

“Sophie’s less likely to take a swing at you.”



“Okay,” I say.

“Also, you should know that they really believe in public displays of affection. They kiss all the time. They call each other ‘babe’ all the time.”

“Even Cassidy?”

“Especially Cassidy. You don’t know the things I’ve seen, Eves,” he says.

I shudder-laugh. More shudder than laugh. Sixty-three percent shudder.

“Thank God you’re back,” he says. “It’s not the same without you.”

He leads me through the house and out to the pool.

At first, they don’t see me. They’re too busy canoodling in the water. I don’t want to interrupt, so I take a seat at the outdoor dining table. It’s spread with fancy plates, actual silver silverware and champagne glasses. I see the remnants of waffles and a few different syrups.

“Did you guys get takeout from SCW?” I ask.

“No, it turns out they have a family chef now,” Martin says.

“Jesus, they’re so rich,” I say.

“Yup,” he says, and offers me a plate.

I’m too nervous to eat, so I just sit there and wait. I don’t have to wait long for Cassidy to realize I’m here. “I don’t remember inviting you over,” she says, using her I’m about to set something on fire voice.

Martin mimes pulling out and offering an organ.

I start with the basics instead. “Hey, guys.”

Sophie gets out of the water, wraps herself in a towel and sits down on a lounge chair. “Hi, Evie,” she mumbles, but she doesn’t look at me.



Cassidy gets out of the pool and follows Sophie to the lounge. She ignores me completely. To Martin she says: “Why is she here?”

“I came to apologize,” I say.

In her eyes, I can see Sophie wants to forgive me. She rests her hand on Cassidy’s shoulder and squeezes, but Cassidy just folds her arms tight.

I look to Martin for help. “Grovel,” he mouths.

I didn’t think it was going to be this hard to get back to being friends. But now I’m realizing that it might not be up to me. What if they decide not to forgive me? Then X will have been right: I’ll be responsible for our breakup. Not them.

“Why’d you say we should break up?” Cassidy asks. “It’s me, right? You think I’m not good enough for Sophie?”

I can’t believe she thinks that. Or, I can believe it. It’s basically what her parents have been telling her all her life with their constant neglect.

I walk over to the lounge chair and squat in front of her. “No, Cassidy. It’s not that at all. It’s just me. Ever since Mom and Dad—”

Sophie squeezes Cassidy’s shoulder again. “See, I told you,” she says.

I’m happy to know that Sophie’s been holding on to her faith in me.

But Cassidy isn’t ready to forgive me yet. “Jesus, just get over it already. Ever since it happened, you’ve been—”

Sophie interrupts her. “What Cassidy means is we miss the old Evie. Not everyone’s going to end up like your parents. Some people are happy.”



“I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish. I’ve been a complete idiot,” I say to Cassidy.