Instructions for Dancing(30)

The only reason I haven’t yet is that I’m afraid. Because of my dad and the divorce. Because of the visions. What if I see our future? What if it’s not a good one?

But I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

I lean in and tilt my face up.

Our teeth collide.

He smiles against my lips and pulls away for a second to adjust our position. But then he puts his hands on either side of my face and kisses me again. I wrap my arms around his neck, wanting to get closer—needing to get closer. His hands slide down my back and then…lower. Never again will I make fun of his enormous hands. They are the perfect size.



“Wow, that was better than I thought it was gonna be, and I thought it was gonna be good,” he says when we finally pull apart.

I laugh. “How much thinking about this have you been doing?”

“A fair amount,” he says, and kisses me again, and it’s more than good.

It’s excellent.

Stupendous.

Phenomenal.

Prodigious.

Every synonym for excellent ever conceived.

I’ll almost certainly worry about this kiss and what it means tomorrow, but for right now I lean in and kiss him again, happy to be in the here and now.





CHAPTER 25





The Ones You Don’t See Coming, Part 1



“WHY DO YOU keep touching your lips like that?” Sophie asks. She imitates me by pressing two fingers against her lips.

Cassidy stops chewing her PB & J. “You are acting stranger than normal.”

“Did something happen with you and X last night?” asks Sophie.

Across the table, Martin just watches me.

One of the hazards of having friends, especially longtime ones, is just how well they know you.

“We might have kissed,” I say.

“See, I knew it!” Cassidy says, nudging Sophie’s shoulder. “Didn’t I say she had poufy just-kissed lips last night?”

“You did say that,” Sophie says, laughing.

Martin joins in on the teasing. “Was it a good kiss?”

“Infinity on a scale of one to ten,” I say, with a huge smile I can’t seem to make smaller.

They tease me some more, with Cassidy claiming that she has kiss radar—“kissdar,” she calls it. Sophie asks when we can have another bonfire with my “boyfriend.”

Hearing her say boyfriend sends me into a small panic. First, X and I are not officially together. Second, don’t I know from the visions that things fall apart? Third, I don’t know why I didn’t see a vision of us last night. Maybe one of the rules of the visions is I can’t see my own future? Or maybe I have to actually see the kiss for it to happen? That’s fine with me. I like kissing with my eyes closed.



I stand up and grab my tray. “I’m going to get more chocolate milk. When I get back we can totally talk about something other than my lips.”

I make my way over to the drinks counter, dodging squealing hugs, back slaps and high fives. The cafeteria is always loudest and most crowded on the first day back from a break, and that’s definitely true today. But it’s more than that. With only ten weeks to go until graduation, the seniors are especially sentimental. Never have there been so many breakups, makeups, temporary hookups, declarations of devotion and general shenanigans. The hallways are a minefield of nostalgia bombs and regret grenades. Most conversations begin with either Do you remember the time? or I wish I had. Lots of group selfies are being taken. Kids are laughing louder and longer, as if whatever was just said is the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Groups of friends who haven’t hung out since freshman year are suddenly sitting together again. It’s like everyone has realized that high school is ending, and they’re trying to make every memory count.

I grab the last chocolate milk and head back to our table. When I get there, Sophie and Cassidy are gone.

“Where’d they go?” I ask Martin.

He shrugs. “No idea. Sophie had something to do and Cassidy went with her.”



He waits for me to settle back into my seat before he starts his interrogation. “So I’m guessing you didn’t have a vision after you kissed?”

I bounce a little in my seat. “Nope, not even a blip.”

“Huh,” he says. “I wonder why.”

“I’m trying not to wonder why,” I tell him.

“I’m happy for you, Eves. You guys are good together.” He smiles, but I can feel that something’s on his mind.

“What’s up with you?” I ask.

“I think Danica really likes her new guy,” he says. “She posts about him a lot. What if I missed my chance?”

I don’t know what to say. I’m torn between wanting to make him feel better and not wanting to encourage him about something that’s never going to happen.

“I don’t think you missed your chance,” I say.

The four-minute-warning bell rings, and we gather our things and leave. Our next class is on the third floor. Martin pushes the stairwell door open but then stops walking so suddenly that I almost run into him. “Oh my god,” he says.

At first I think Danica must be here somewhere, because she always stops Martin in his tracks. But then I follow his gaze. It’s not Danica.