I Was Born for This(50)

‘Yeah, probably.’

I bite my lip.

‘Aren’t you excited?’ I ask, and instantly regret it.

She turns to me, eyes wide, almost like she’s about to cry.

‘I’ve just … there’s been …’ she begins, but then swallows and looks away. ‘Yeah, yes. Yes, I’m really excited.’

Maybe she’s just nervous.

It is two minutes till four. There are only two minutes to go until we see them for real, in the flesh, living and breathing and three-dimensional.

The boys.

Our boys.

I get chatting to a group of girls, a bit younger than us, in the queue behind us. They’re German, and have travelled here from Germany after failing to get tickets to the Germany tour dates. Even I think this is kind of crazy, but I guess some people actually have money to do things like get trains and planes to go to other countries. I only managed to get to London because I saved all my birthday money and Eid money.

‘It’s nice that you’ve got a boy with you,’ says one of them in incredibly perfect English. I’m terrible at languages and immediately feel jealous. ‘It’s a shame that there aren’t many fans of The Ark who are boys.’ She points at Mac, who turns round to look at her.

I glance at Mac. ‘I know, right!’ I pat him on the shoulder. ‘This is Mac. He’s a big fan, all right!’

Mac chuckles nervously. ‘Yeah!’

I notice Juliet start paying attention to our conversation.

‘I wonder why that is,’ I say. ‘Why girls like The Ark more than boys.’

‘I think it’s because they’re nice,’ says one of the German girls. We all look at her, and she shrugs. ‘You know that they’re good people, from their YouTube videos and their interviews. They’re not like normal musicians. It feels like they’re our friends and they understand us and care about us.’

The girl’s friends all nod and voice their agreement.

‘And that’s what girls like,’ says another of the girls. ‘Boys that are nice and good. Not attractive.’

They all laugh. Mac forces himself to join in.

‘So, Mac,’ says another girl, ‘which Ark boy is your favourite?’

‘Oh … er, well …’ He pauses and I see the panic flash across his face.

Everyone looks at him.

‘Probably … Owen?’ he says.

There’s a long pause.

‘Owen,’ I say, and then laugh. ‘I sure do love Owen from The Ark.’

The German girls laugh and start chatting among themselves again.

‘Wait –’ says Mac. ‘Hang on, I meant—’

‘We know what you meant,’ I say to him.

And then I look at Juliet.

If she’d been grumpy before, she’s distraught now.

‘Owen …?’ she says.

‘I meant …’ says Mac, but he can’t even remember Rowan’s name.

‘I know exactly what you meant,’ says Juliet. She nods and laughs. ‘I know exactly what you meant.’

For someone so small, she suddenly looks terrifying.

‘You’re not really an Ark fan, are you?’ she says.

‘What? That’s – I—’

‘You just lied about it to me this whole time because you fancy me, don’t you?’ she says.

Mac goes a deep red colour. ‘It’s not … like that …’

‘What is it like, then?’ Juliet grins at him. It’s vicious. ‘Go on.’

But he can’t think of anything to say.

‘Bliss was right,’ she whispers, almost to herself. ‘Oh my God.’

The silence after that is broken only by screams, and I already know what is happening before I turn to look.

The Ark are here.





‘There’s queue ropes, right?’ I ask whoever’s listening – Rowan, Lister, Cecily, a random O2 employee, our security guard. ‘There’s, like, a fence, or, like, a gate …’

We are standing in a corridor outside the meet-and-greet room. There are several security guards and O2 employees around us going through what’s about to happen. I’m trying to talk while also doing deep-breathing exercises, which is not working.

Rowan squeezes my shoulder. ‘Jimmy … come on, calm down.’

‘Do you think they’re going to ask us about … like … the stuff that’s happened this week … the Jowan photo …’

‘You don’t have to answer anything they ask you, Jimmy. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. There are three of us.’

‘Do you think they’re gonna read something into this hoodie?’ I hold out the sleeves of my hoodie, which read ‘TRUTH’ and ‘LIE’ respectively. They always overanalyse stuff like that.

Rowan shakes his head. ‘Come on, it’s just a hoodie, for God’s sake.’

‘They’ll want me to say something. They’re gonna want me to say something.’ I can’t control my breathing. Everyone else has started to notice. ‘About the photo or Rowan or Bliss or—’

‘Hey, Jimmy,’ Lister interrupts, leaning heavily onto my shoulder. He’s sparkling; he’s a beacon of contemporary beauty. I don’t feel like I’m here. ‘Don’t worry. If any of them ask you about the photo, I’ll change the topic and start talking about my affair with—’