I Fell in Love with Hope(67)

“Are you okay?” Hikari wraps her arms around me.

Neo shudders in his chair, his hand curled into a fist against his mouth. He pushes the bile back down his throat, a white, petrified sea hiding the pupils in his eyes.

The only reason his father didn’t drag Neo out of here by his hair is because he needs his mom. She’s the one who signed everything when Neo was admitted for his anorexia, and his doctors will only recommend he can go home when his weight is over a certain point, and he’s eating regularly.

“Neo, It’s okay, you’re okay,” C says, falling to his knees beside the chair. He takes Neo’s hand away from his lips.

Sony presses her palm against Neo’s spine.

“We’ll call your mom,” she says. “She’ll calm him down. She’ll take care of you.”

“No, no, my mom’s too scared of him,” Neo whimpers.

C’s anger ruminates, like if he was physically capable he’d chase down Neo’s father and finish what he started. “Screw that. We’ll tell Eric, we have proof–”

“No, he’ll kill me, he’s going to kill me,” Neo says and what breaks me is it sounds like he truly believes that.

“He’s not laying a finger on you,” C growls. “Not while I’m breathing.”

The cozy colors ease back into the room, the tension Neo’s father brought to it draining from it drop by drop. Sony, Hikari, and C try to comfort Neo, but he’s stuck. Stuck in a perpetual loop of wondering what pain his father’s return will hold.

The large window that was looking forward to welcoming him glimmers, as if the sun is looking through a lens. I turn to it, the expanse of our city reaching across the bridge.

The waters rage in the fall, overflowing from end of summer rains. It’s in the winter that they calm to a still, black layer. I can practically hear the cascades, the drowning force of that one crossover that never failed to reject me.

Today, I find myself unafraid to stare it down. The dread that twists my stomach like a rag upon seeing it never comes. Instead, I can see past it, a semblance of what C and Neo call heaven taking shape in a possibility I used to reject.

“We can run away,” I say.

C makes a noise. “Sam, this isn’t the time–”

“I’m serious.” I turn around to face my friends. “We never did have that escape, did we?”

“Sam,” Hikari looks at me through her glasses, concerned. “Are you sure about this?”

“It’s what you all wanted, right?” I ask. “Do you still want to?”

They look between each other, like they’re checking to make sure I’m not insane. Neo comes back to reality, looking me in the face. He knows I want to save him. He knows, more than that, that I want to stand beside him.

“C,” I call. “You have your dad’s truck?”

“Yeah,” he says, the keys jingling in his pocket.

Eric’s keycard is still in mine. I take it out, flipping it once the way Sony flips a pack of cigarettes.

Sony smirks. She looks to Neo for a final say. “Now?”

Neo thinks it over. But whether in a wheelchair, on crutches, or feet, he’s never been able to escape the shackles of our missions. He stands, his legs wobbly like his desk’s, staring at the story we salvaged.

“Now.”





tears of joy




“Race you to the car!”

“Sony, stop running!” I yell.

Her laughter vibrates down her body like chills, dirty white sneakers smacking against the sidewalk. The back exit isn’t busy this time of day. We manage to make it through without anyone stopping us and asking where the hell we think we’re going.

Neo’s hood hides his face as he scurries with his papers nestled against his chest. C is right behind him, fumbling with the car keys.

“Crap–crap–crap–” he curses under his breath, finally managing to unlock the doors. Neo climbs into the truck’s front seat while Sony throws herself in the back.

Hikari ran back inside, to get something important, she said. I keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for her to come running back out.

“You can drive, right?” Neo asks.

“Sure,” C says.

“Sure?”

“I can drive.”

“But you have your license, right?”

“I took my driver’s test.”

“And passed, right?”

“Neo, it’s rude to ask about grades.”

“It’s rude to get us killed in a car accident.”

“There’s Hikari!” Sony yells, pointing out the window.

Sundress swaying around her legs and sprinting back to us, Hikari throws an arm up in the air, a prize in hand. The metal spirals catch the light, the front page torn off. Hikari smiles at me through the glass. Victorious smile. Contagious smile.

C starts the car.

Hikari doesn’t bother opening the door. She throws herself through the open window, flipping over, her legs landing on my lap. We all shriek at the same time. Hikari’s glasses almost fly off her face.

“The Hit List!” Sony yells.

“Our Hit List,” Hikari pants, reaching across me to kiss her face. “Let’s go, C!” she yells.