Gates of Thread and Stone(84)

I was at a loss for how to answer him. Even if there was a way to undo this—which I doubted—I wouldn’t be able to let Avan die again. He couldn’t remember me, but it was enough that he was here. He was alive.

I tried to control the torrent of emotions swirling inside me. I joined them by the table. Standing in front of him, I saw that his eyes were no longer brown, but a lucent shade of gold. They reminded me of the Sun right before it broke through the clouds.

I looked away. His eyes cut through me in a way no blade ever could. Staring at his chin, I thrust out my hand and offered a weak smile. His fingers closed around mine.

“I’m Kai,” I choked out, and pulled away.

Except he didn’t let go. His gaze moved over my face. He tugged on my hand. I followed, letting him pull me closer. He brushed his knuckles along my cheekbone.

I exhaled slowly, afraid to hope. “Avan?”

“I don’t know you,” he said quietly.

A tremor fluttered through my body.

“But I think I must have. Looking at you . . . It makes me want to remember.” He gave a small, crooked smile. “Does that make any sense?”

I stopped fighting myself and leaned into him, resting my forehead against his chest. For a second, he did nothing. Then his arms closed around me. His hands rested against the curve of my back. He even smelled the same.

“Kai,” he said into my hair, a note of wonder in his voice. “Kai,” he repeated, as if to imprint my name on his memory.

Outside this tower, the city continued in ignorance of what had happened to its Kahl. But not for much longer. I didn’t know what would happen now—if Kalla and the new Kahl, whoever that was, would allow the much-needed changes to take place. Every wall Ninu had erected was like a collar to control and divide the people. Would they embrace a city without divisions? Or would they build even stronger ones to replace them?

Avan and I had left Ninurta with only one purpose. None of this had ever been about changing anything. But whether by the Infinite’s design or not, we had made our decisions, formed new friendships and enemies, new loves. We had changed too much. Our previous lives felt as distant and surreal as a dream.

I held Avan close. Now, in this moment, we could begin to shape a new kind of home.





Acknowledgments



INFINITE THANKS TO my agent, Suzie Townsend, for being my champion and for believing wholeheartedly in this book. Thanks also to the team at New Leaf: Joanna, Kathleen, Pouya, Danielle, and Jaida. I’m so grateful for their tremendous support and expertise.

Immeasurable thanks to my brilliant editor, Robin Benjamin, the perfect advocate for this book with her invaluable insight and sharp-eyed editorial skills. I wonder every day how I got so lucky. Thanks also to the team at Skyscape for taking a chance and believing in a debut author: Courtney Miller, Miriam Juskowicz, Timoney Korbar, and Erick Pullen. Thanks to Tony Sahara for a stunning cover that I want to creepily caress and to Megan McNinch for visualizing Kai’s world into a kick-butt map.

Enormous thanks to my amazing critique partners: Mindee Arnett, who is a marvel and inspires me daily; Lauren Teffeau, who practically oozes talent; and Anna Adao, who is as clever as she is awesome. I could not have done this without their constant support and spot-on input. Thanks also to my early beta readers: Chessie, Brent, Raven, and especially Kalen.

Super special thanks to the ladies of GfA: Natalie Parker, Amy Parker, Amy Tintera, Corinne Duyvis, Michelle Krys, Gemma Cooper, Deborah Hewitt, Ruth Steven, Kim Welchons, and Stephanie Winkelhake. I can’t imagine how I could have gotten through the last few years without them. Thanks also to the dear friends I first met in fandom who have stayed with me through the crazy years and supported me in the pursuit of my writing dreams, especially Sofi, Patricia, Carolyn, and Emily. I adore you ladies.

Of course, none of this could have been possible without the support of my family. My mom, who had to deal with me reading all night until she caught me with my bedroom light on at 4 AM. My older brothers, La and Nai, who always believed I could do it. My brother Matt, who shares my love for all things geeky. My sisters May and Kay, who were among the first to kindle my love for reading and who’ve always supported me, even when I was just a snot-nosed kid jotting down stories about exploding heads. And to Kou, whom I miss with all my heart.

Last but not least, all my love and thanks to my husband, Cha, who tolerates my insanity when I’m freaking out about a deadline, and my children, Katalina and Oliver, who are the world to me.



About the Author

Lori M. Lee was born in the mountains of Laos. Her family relocated to a Thailand refugee camp for a few years and then moved permanently to the United States when she was three. She has a borderline obsessive fascination with unicorns, is fond of talking in capslock, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family. She currently lives in Wisconsin with her husband, kids, and a friendly pitbull. Visit her at: www.lorimlee.com.