Four Doors Down(46)

“I know that, Becca.” And I guess he does. I forgot that he knew Aunt Ruth too. For all I know she’s been over at his house when his parents have thrown parties or barbecues. “Sometimes people just go through shit times, but she can get better now. She’ll get help.”

I nod and manage a small smile. I know he’s right; I just wish it hadn’t come to this.

“Is this where you’ve been during lunch all week?” he asks.

I nod.

“Why have you been avoiding the cafeteria?”

I roll my eyes. After last night, I don’t really care about my fight with Ryan anymore, but he can’t be so dumb as to not notice all the gossip that’s been going on since his girlfriend threw a ball in my face.

“Over our fight after dodgeball?” he persists.

“Yes!” He’s clearly not going to let this go so I might as well tell him why I was mad. “You purposely let me get hit in the face just because you were pissed.”

He lets out a long sigh. “I really am sorry about that.”

I put my pencil down and look over at him.

“It was stupid. Everything just got out of hand, and I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“Please, Becca. I would never, ever intentionally want you to get hurt.”

“Well, it didn’t seem like it. You were blocking me and then deliberately moved.” I don’t mention the part where I insulted him, maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but it’s not an excuse to let me get physically hurt. “I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t know. I just…” He sighs. “I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you.”

“Yeah, you don’t say,” I say sarcastically. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to your game, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“I just…I dunno…” he trails off looking away from me.

“It’s fine, I’m over it,” I tell him. “Just next time you decide to teach me a lesson, could you do it in private? It’s not much fun having the whole school talk about you.”

“What do you mean talk about you?”

“Oh come on, Ryan, you know how it works. Anything involving you is big business in this stupid school. The fact that the head cheerleader smacked me in the face with a ball over you was bound to get out. Everyone’s been gawking at me all week.”

“I don’t think she meant to do that.”

“Oh, she meant it. She has it pretty bad for you. Obviously she didn’t like it that we were on the same team or whatever.” I pause. “I blame Jake.”

He smiles at this. “Is that why you’re skipping lunch? To avoid everyone?”

“No.” I pause. “Yes.”

Ryan smiles. “Well, if it helps, Mason got caught in a cleaning closet with Julia Simpson just after first period, so I’m pretty sure you’ll be forgotten about by now.”

“Really?”

He nods. I allow a small smile and go back to my drawing. “It all seems pretty pointless, anyway. After what happened yesterday. Bigger things to think about, you know?”

He nods in agreement. “What are you doing now?”

“Nothing. Have math after lunch.”

“Wanna skip?”

My head turns to him. Did he actually just suggest we ditch school? Together? “What?”

“Come on, let me make it up to you, and it’ll take your mind off of your aunt.”

“You wanna skip together?” I ask.

“Yes. Come on, it’s not that weird of a suggestion.”

I tilt my head to the side, studying his face. “Just the two of us?”

“Go on, I dare you,” he challenges me, his eyes twinkling.

“Um…” I genuinely don’t know what to say. I mean, I’d actually really like to ditch for the afternoon, but with Ryan? What on earth would we talk about? I know we’ve been around each other a lot more recently, but that’s more down to circumstance than choice.

“Let me prove I’m not the total * you think I am.”

His tone is playful, but I can see genuine hope in his eyes and a whole lot of uncertainty. He actually wants to chill together. I guess he has been there for me recently if you ignore the whole dodgeball incident. Maybe we could give this friend thing a shot. I start to nod without realizing it. His eyes widen in surprise that I’m actually agreeing and he smiles. He stands up and I follow him out of the classroom.




We’re lying out on the beach, using our bags as pillows and staring up at the sky. I’ve actually had a really good afternoon. Ryan drove us an hour down the coast and we had lunch at this great seafood shack. He’s been making me laugh like we used to back when we were kids, and I feel a lot better about Aunt Ruth and Jay now. He’s right. Rehab is the best place for her, and if it weren’t for last night, she wouldn’t be there now. Now I’m lying out, the winter sun is warm on our skin, and I’m so relaxed I’m close to falling asleep.

“Becca?”

“Sssh, I’m sleeping,” I mumble.

“What are you gonna do next year?” he asks.

I turn my head to look at him. “You mean after we graduate?” He nods. “Dunno. College, I guess. Maybe travel for a year first.”