Four Doors Down(4)

Twenty minutes or so later I was restless and wanted to leave, refusing the beer that was offered to me. Billy didn’t want to go yet so I excused myself to go find a bathroom. Five minutes later, I was heading back when I noticed that Ryan and Mason had joined Billy and his friends. I slowed as I approached so I could see them in the light of the fire but I couldn’t be seen in the black night.

“So how’s your date going?” someone asked Billy.

“Good. She’s cool, really cool,” Billy replied.

“Bro, I don’t even know why you’re bothering to waste your time,” Ryan jumped in. He was talking loudly and seemed pretty drunk. “Becca McKenzie is more frigid than an ice queen, her chest is flatter than a twelve-year-old boy’s, she’s dumber than pig shit, and I heard she kisses like a wet fish.” He said the words with such venom there was no doubt how much he despised me.

There was a pause and then they all burst into laughter. I couldn’t help the hammering in my heart and the hurt that coursed through it at his cruel words. He stood there letting them mock me, using me to make them laugh. Did he really hate me that much?

It was true I was an ice queen to him, but he’d been the one to start that. And yes, my chest hadn’t really developed fully yet. I didn’t grow proper boobs until the end of my freshman year and they were never huge. But I wasn’t stupid. I was definitely going to make it onto honor roll. And the only person he could have heard about my kissing technique from was Mason. Mason had launched himself at me during a game of spin the bottle, but it had been over so quickly, how could anyone say I kissed like a fish? I felt humiliation wash over me at their cruel laughter.

“Frigid, huh?” one of Billy’s friends asked. “So you don’t think he can tap her before Christmas?”

My breath had caught in my throat. Tap me? Were they referring to sex?

“Oh, it’ll be done,” Billy replied cockily.

“You definitely think she’s a virgin then?”

“Yeah, I would say so.”

“Nah, I’m not convinced. Leave it,” Ryan said.

“Come on, Jackson. One minute you’re telling me she’s frigid, the next she might not be a virgin? Get your story straight! Either way, I’m banging that girl,” Billy told him.

“You better. I’ve got money riding on the end of November,” another friend added.

I remember feeling utterly sick. They were actually betting on when he would take my virginity. And Ryan knew about this? Did everyone know about this? I’d never felt so disgusted or vulnerable or small in my entire life. And what was Ryan doing? Surely he felt some loyalty to me. Surely he wouldn’t let them use me like that. That was the moment that I decided I hated him.

I cleared my throat and stepped closer to the fire so they could see me. They turned toward me in surprise and panic crossed Billy’s face.

“I’m going to leave,” I said calmly to Billy. “And I’m never going to speak to you again.”

I turned to his friend who had mentioned about the bet. “Maybe you’ll get your money back when he picks his next unlucky victim.” I cast one more look of disgust at Ryan and turned and walked away. I walked ten blocks just to get away from them before I started looking for a bus stop.

The next week at school Billy tried to play it down, but I calmly repeated I wouldn’t be speaking to him again. When word got around school about what had happened, a few other girls who had been on dates with some of the older guys from the team realized that they were probably having bets placed on them too and promptly stopped dating them.

Ryan came and found me at my locker on Monday morning and apologized for the way he had spoken about me. He swore to me that he didn’t know about the bet and he would never have let them go through with it. I stood and listened to him, watching his eyes dart away from my face nervously and his feet fidget on the floor. Then I closed my locker and walked past him without a word. We didn’t have any interaction for months.

Luckily for me, Billy Jameson transferred schools later in the year. Jake tried to talk to me about Ryan a couple of times, explaining that he had just been drunk and talking shit, but I didn’t want to hear it. Then when I was talking to Jake one day, Ryan came over and cracked some lame joke at my expense, acting as though we were old friends and I didn’t hate his guts. He clearly enjoyed pissing me off. It’s carried on that way ever since. It’s like he decided that ignoring me wasn’t enough fun for him anymore. Now he wanted to embarrass me and tease me at any chance he got, and he did that throughout the rest of my freshmen year right up until now. I was hoping when I came back for senior year that he’d have grown up and left me alone, but on the first day back he was there pestering me. And that’s pretty much our relationship now. I try to ignore him, he tries to annoy me. I cannot stand him or his friends and wish he’d forget I exist.

I snap myself out of thoughts of Ryan and walk into my house throwing my bag down on the floor, heading into the kitchen. My mom’s in there with Mrs. Jackson, Ryan’s mom.

“Hi, Becca, how are you?” Mrs. Jackson asks, smiling warmly at me.

I smile back at her and wonder for the millionth time how somebody as sweet and kind as Mrs. Jackson spawned the douche bag that is Ryan Jackson.

“Good, thanks.”

“You’re back late.” My mom eyes me suspiciously. She’s well aware of my tendency to pick up a detention or two.