Four Doors Down(16)

“Dude, you are f*cking unreal!” Jimmy snaps irritably, standing up and grabbing his bag.

“What’s your problem?” Charlie shoots back, standing to face him.

Jimmy looks at him in disgust and turns and walks out the garage. Charlie sits back down next to me and I look at him nervously. “What was that about?”

Charlie rolls his eyes dismissively. “Jimmy’s a *. Forget him. He’s just pissed at life.”

“I don’t think he likes me.”

Charlie reaches out and entwines his hands through mine, tugging me closer to him. He ducks down so that his eyes are level with mine. “Of course, he likes you, Becca. What’s not to like?”

I shrug self-consciously. I know I’m not making this up.

“He’s probably just jealous that you’re not his,” he says. I allow a small smile, even though I know it’s not that. “Have I told you how pretty you look today?” he continues. His mouth turns into a crooked smile and suddenly it’s all I can focus on. I forget about Jimmy and whatever that argument was about. All I can focus on is Charlie’s mouth and the desperate need I suddenly have to kiss him.

I remember the night I lost my virginity to him. It started off like this. This need I had to kiss him constantly, the not wanting to have any distance between us, me pressing up against him so I could be as close as possible.

We were in his room and had been watching a movie. We’d only watched about twenty minutes of it before the movie was forgotten completely and we started the mother of all make out sessions.

Now, my involvement with guys up until that point had been pretty tame and fairly casual. Billy Jameson had put me off dating anyone for a long time, and my involvement with guys was pretty limited to a few make out sessions at the odd (non-MacAllister) party I attended with Sam or when I worked as a summer camp counselor. I had kissed a few guys, but the most physical it had ever gotten was a bit of over the clothes groping.

It was different with Charlie, though. I felt this draw to him that I had never felt before and I was almost scared that he was going to wake up and realize he was too good for me and back off. During this particular make out session, he pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me, propping himself up on his elbows and hovering over me. I was so lost in him and in such a Charlie induced daze I didn’t immediately realize that his fingers had unbuttoned the top of my jeans. I froze when I realized it and he immediately stopped and looked at me with a question.

I had guarded my virginity pretty carefully up to that point. I had definitely been in situations before where I could have taken it to the next level, but I had always chosen to keep it vanilla and not go there. I’d never wanted to go there. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to go there with Charlie. We’d only been dating for four weeks and I always pictured myself making a guy wait for it. But there was no denying the attraction I felt for him and I could see how much he wanted to move our relationship forward and if I’m totally honest, I didn’t want to disappoint him. So I took a deep breath, flashed a nervous smile and gave him a small nod. That was all the encouragement he needed.

It was all over fairly quickly, to be honest, and although it hurt more than I expected, it wasn’t as bad as some of the horror stories I’d heard from my friends. I remember sitting in my car afterward and thinking that I was no longer a virgin and how strange that was. That was definitely not how I pictured losing my virginity, off the back of some random run-of-the-mill make out session, but even though it was unexpected, I couldn’t say that I regretted it. Although part of me did wish he’d made a bit of an effort, had set the scene and maybe at least had some candles dotted around the room, but then I remembered how he’d smiled at me afterward and I was just happy that he was happy.

The next time I had seen Charlie, he had wanted to do it again almost right away. I remember being surprised and thinking, “What? But I already did it once,” but then I guess it’s true what they say. Once you start having sex, that’s it. You keep having sex. It did get better and I loved being that close to him and have absolutely no regrets about sleeping with him.

He reaches out and runs his finger across my jaw, pulling my attention back to him. “Now, that we’re alone, Becca, how are we gonna pass the time?” he teases me and suddenly tugs me forward so that I’m sitting on his knee. I adjust myself so that my legs are straddling him and suddenly, just like that, I forget everything else and I’m back to being lost in Charlie, and there is nowhere else I’d rather be.





“It’s senior year, Becca. You have to go to homecoming!”

I smirk at Jake sitting across from me. “Why? So they can name me homecoming queen?”

He starts to laugh. “I’d pay to see that!”

I grin back at him. We both had a free last period and bumped into each other by his locker so we’ve been sitting outside on the benches waiting for the rest of school to let out. It’s been fun. Jake and I used to hang all the time and though we always chat and catch up when we see each other, it’s usually only in passing since he’s always with Ryan and I always do my best to avoid him. It’s pretty rare that we get to hang out one on one these days, but it’s been just like old times.

“Who are you gonna go with?”

He shrugs. “Dunno.”