Four Dead Queens(76)

I grinned, although my chest burned as if I’d swallowed something bitter. I didn’t want to twist Varin into anything resembling me.

We quickly headed toward the other side of the palace in search of the inspector. I froze when we rounded a corner to find a large group of people gathered in a wide corridor.

I wanted to run. Hide. There were too many people. Too many eyes. Someone was bound to realize we weren’t meant to be here. Perhaps the assassin.

The staff were sorrowful, their hands clutched together, their faces etched with grief.

“What are they doing here?” I whispered to Varin.

“I’m not sure.”

The crowd shifted to either side of the corridor and faced inward. Facing us. I tried to move into an unlocked room, but people blocked the doorways.

They knew. Christon had discovered our lies. What was the punishment for deceiving guards and sneaking around the palace?

“We have to get out of here,” I said, desperately searching for a way out.

“Calm down.” Varin’s hand was at my elbow. “They’re not looking at us.”

He was right. Their gaze was upon something moving down the corridor. Something inside a glass box.

A coffin.

“Queen Iris,” Varin murmured.

Queens above. I didn’t want to see her ruined body again.

The coffin was covered in melting candles and carried by her staff. And they were headed right toward us.

“We have to get out of here,” I said again.

“It’s the death procession.” He shook his head. “It would be suspicious to leave. And disrespectful.”

The last time I’d been to a memorial was for Mackiel’s parents. He’d held my hand tightly during the entire service. How had everything changed in three years?

I’d only attended one other memorial. My grandfather’s when I was six. I didn’t remember much, except how everyone spoke of my grandfather as though he were still alive. When we got home from the service, I asked my parents when we would see him again. My father broke down. I’d never seen him in that much pain. Until the day I shattered his boat, his business and his life.

“Come on,” Varin said, pulling me to the side with the rest of the palace staff. “Stand still and be quiet.”

“I can’t promise anything.” I attempted levity, but the words felt sticky in my mouth. I didn’t want to see Queen Iris again. I didn’t want to be reminded of how I’d failed her.

But it was too late.

Her face was peaceful in death, more peaceful than the scowl I’d seen hours earlier in court. While I couldn’t see the gash across her neck, I remembered it vividly. From both the comm chips and seeing her in the garden.

I hated that the last, lingering memory I would have of her would be her grisly murder. Was that all we were reduced to in death? A broken body? What about everything that came before? Mere memories that would one day fade altogether.

And though I tried not to, I thought of my father. Would I fail him again? Without HIDRA, he would pass to the quadrant without borders before summer warmed Toria’s coast. He’d be lost to me. I doubted my mother would want anything to do with me once he was dead.

In a few years, what would I remember of him? Would I forget the sound of his voice? Would I forget him calling me a landlubber, someone unfamiliar with the ways of the ocean, while playfully tousling my hair? Would those bloody memories inside that horrid cave be all that remained of him?

My hands started to shake.

“It’s all right,” Varin whispered. He must’ve thought I was thinking of poor Queen Iris, but as always, I was thinking of myself.

Something touched my fingers, and I started. But it was Varin. He squeezed my hand in his.

But the scene was too close to Mackiel’s parents’ memorial, with Varin now taking the role of the consoler. I pulled away. I wasn’t ready to trust Varin.

After Mackiel’s betrayal, I wasn’t sure I could trust anyone.



* * *



—

WE KNEW WE were heading in the direction of the infirmary when the murmur of voices drew us forward. A gathering of guards and staff blocked the entrance to a room. We glimpsed someone moving through the doorway dressed in a gray dermasuit.

“The inspector,” Varin whispered.

“How do you know?” I whispered back.

“Gray dermasuits are only worn by inspectors.”

I pulled Varin to the side. “We can’t go in there now.”

“Why not?”

“There are too many people. We need to watch the inspector without him knowing we’re watching. Only then will he drop any pretense.”

“You never steal from someone without knowing more about the situation and person.” He recited my earlier words back at me.

I nodded. “We need to wait till he’s alone.”

“We can’t stand here till then. It’s too suspicious.”

He was right. We’d been lucky up to this point, but any more skulking around the palace, and someone was bound to realize we weren’t doing anything official.

I examined our surroundings. I could fit in the vent and continue to move around the palace unseen, but Varin was too broad.

“Come on,” I said, pulling him down the corridor.