Four Dead Queens(109)
“I don’t know what to say.”
She leaned forward. “Say you’ll help me. When I visit Toria, the final destination on my tour, help me learn all there is to know about your quadrant.” I noticed she said your quadrant and not hers. She spoke for all of Quadara now. “Even the Jetée. The queens have been too long disconnected from our people. I realize that now, with all that’s happened.” She took a moment, her hand on her chest, before continuing. “I want to ensure everyone’s voice is heard and placate any concerns. I cannot allow anger and hatred to cause such destruction, like what happened here with these murders.”
“Yes,” I said. “I would be more than happy to help.” It was the least I could do for the palace and Queen Marguerite for helping my father. And it might help ease my guilt.
“Wonderful.” She clapped her hands together. “Now on to Varin.”
“Sorry?” He glanced at me. “My knowledge of the other quadrants is slim, my queen. I’m not sure I’ll be of much help.”
She smiled in response. “That’s not quite what I had in mind for you. The inspector examined your background when he was investigating the murders.”
If Varin was surprised, he didn’t show it. “Yes, my queen?”
She pressed her lips together solemnly. “He learned about your death date.” I squeezed Varin’s hand. His chest rose and fell more rapidly as the queen went on. “I can’t let Eonia continue to treat their people with such disrespect. While changing the laws there will take time, I can offer you something to ensure your vision doesn’t continue to deteriorate.”
“HIDRA?” I asked. Anticipation hummed under my skin. Were we both so blessed by the queens above?
Queen Marguerite shook her head. “I’m afraid not. You see, Varin’s condition is neither a disease nor injury. It’s a genetic condition. And genes can only be manipulated before birth. I’m sorry, but we cannot fix his vision.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I thought HIDRA could fix everything?”
Her brow lowered. “I checked with all our doctors. I’m very sorry. I wish I had better news.”
Varin’s expression stayed the same. I wanted him to scream, to yell, to break. I wanted him to feel, as I did in that moment. And I wanted to help endure his pain.
But he squared his shoulders and said, “I understand. Thank you for trying, my queen.”
“Not all is lost,” she said. “There is a treatment that will keep the degeneration at bay. And I’ve already put more funding into attempts to reverse genetic conditions after birth.” When neither of us answered, she added, “There’s hope, Varin. Please don’t give up.”
He nodded, but his hand felt limp in mine.
* * *
—
VARIN AND I sat on the House of Concord steps, my fingertips tracing patterns on the back of his hand. It had snowed overnight, coating everything with a dusting of white. The air had that crisp fresh smell of newly fallen snow, and the morning crowds were out preparing to do business.
The screens atop the buildings continued to play Queen Marguerite’s latest Queenly Report on a loop. A few people stood, watching her solemn retelling of the past few weeks’ events, four fingers pressed to their lips.
Quadara had been shaken, but it had not been broken.
Varin stared ahead at something I couldn’t see. I worried he’d shut me out again without the possibility of HIDRA. But everything was different now. He was different.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He turned and gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry about me. As Queen Marguerite said, I have hope. That’s more than I had before coming here. In fact.” He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I have much more than hope. More than I could’ve ever dreamed of.”
“What?” I said in mock solemnity. “A criminal record?”
He laughed, pressing my hand between his. The feeling of his skin on mine never failed to set my heart stuttering and stomach swooping. I hoped it never would. While he refused to put his gloves back on, he still wore the rest of his dermasuit. I didn’t mind, for it was a good look on him. Anything, I’d decided, was a good look on him. Especially when he was smiling at me.
“Thank you,” he said. “For staying by my side.”
“Thank you for staying by mine. Now that you have me, you can’t get rid of me.”
“I hope that’s a promise.”
I grinned. “It is.”
He glanced back at the palace behind us, the dome illuminating the Concord like a second sun. “Are you sure about helping Queen Marguerite when she travels to Toria? It will remind you of what happened here.”
Something dark stirred within me, but I shoved it back down. I would keep the important part of my promise to Queen Marguerite—I would not dwell on the bloody crimes committed here. I would let those events belong to a girl who no longer existed. A girl who only cared about herself. The girl who belonged to Mackiel.
She was gone now.
I was a girl who cared for her family. Her friends. I was a girl who saw more than the Jetée, more than Toria. My eyes were open.
And I wasn’t alone. I never had been. I’d turned my back on my family to chase wealth, to search for things they couldn’t provide, things I thought I needed. But I was wrong. They’d provided everything I could have ever wanted. A life of warmth and love.