For Real(76)



“One second,” Miranda calls. She lets go of me and digs through her pack until she finds her matching red T-shirt. It’s creased and wrinkled, and it still smells like the Javanese fish market, but she pulls it on over her tank top anyway. Then she turns to me and smiles. “You ready?”

I wipe my eyes and slip my arm around my sister’s waist, and together we make our way across the lush lawn and into the glare of the network’s floodlights. When we’re seated, Chuck says, “Claire, can you tell me a little bit about why you decided to sabotage yourself and Samir today?”

It’s the last time I’ll be in the spotlight, and I’m prepared to make the most of it, to get everything out in the open. “Part of what I did today was about revenge,” I begin. “But I did it for other reasons, too—”

Chuck holds up a hand to stop me. “Sorry, hang on. We’re having a little trouble with the camera. Can you guys start over?”

Miranda looks at me, a question in her eyes, and I smile at her.

“Yeah,” I say. “I think we can do that.”





Epilogue





It’s a Sunday night in October, and for the sixth week in a row, my house is full of friends, relatives, and neighbors who are here to watch Around the World in Eighty Dates. Miranda and I sit side by side in the center of the couch, the best seats in the house—I’m still considered a guest of honor, even though my final episode aired a couple of weeks ago. We haven’t seen Miranda get eliminated yet, but I know tonight’s episode is her last, based on when she showed up at the Portuguese beach hotel where they kept the eliminated contestants until filming was over. (In keeping with the cheesy tone of the show, everyone referred to it as Heartbreak Hotel.) Next week is the finale, when we’ll all appear one last time to cheer for Martin and Zora as they cross the finish line and are presented with a million dollars. Tawny and Steve, who came in second, each won a trip for two to Tahiti.

Natalie sits on my other side, her neon-green boots propped on the coffee table and the yellow crocheted pillow hugged tightly to her stomach. My other best friends, Chris and Abby, are sprawled on the floor at our feet, having a heated debate about whether they’d prefer to see Blake or Troy do a striptease. A couple of Miranda’s college friends are up from New York City for the weekend, and they’re taking her back down with them tomorrow to hunt for apartments in Brooklyn. Since I have Columbus Day off from school, Miranda has asked me to come with them to help her pick one out.

At one minute to eight, my sister stands up and taps her wineglass with a spoon, and everyone quiets. “I’d like to dedicate this episode to Claire,” she says. “You all saw how she stood up to Samir for me, and this is my way of saying thank you.”

Everyone applauds, and I take a surprised, confused little bow. “I’m flattered, but what does this episode have to do with me?” I ask. Miranda hasn’t told me anything about what happened on the show after I left, claiming she didn’t want to spoil any surprises.

She smiles cryptically. “You’ll see.”

The credits sequence starts, and everyone cheers and settles down in their seats. Chris and Natalie sing along to the superdramatic opening music, adding their own little harmonies and flourishes. When the pink heart-map logo pops up, flanked by animated Cupids, they both shout out the tagline: Where in the world will you find your soul mate?

Miranda’s laptop dings to indicate a new Skype call, and Steve’s face pops up on the screen. He’s watched every episode with us remotely from his dorm room at the University of Minnesota. “Sorry I’m late,” he says. “One of the dryers in the basement caught on fire again.”

“Seriously, Steve, how many times do I have to warn you to check your pockets for explosives before you do laundry?” Miranda says.

He grins at her. “I have to keep things interesting around here somehow. It’d be a lot easier if you’d just come visit already.”

Miranda’s friends start oooohing and making smooching noises, and she blushes bright red, but she’s smiling. Though she keeps claiming there’s nothing going on between them, I’ve caught her on the phone with Steve late at night more times than I can count. Miranda’s been skipping from boyfriend to boyfriend without a pause since she was about fourteen, and I’m glad she’s finally taking some time for herself. But I do hope the two of them will get together eventually. I suspect Steve is one of the few guys who might actually deserve her.

Episode six opens with the Proposal Ceremony from last week, when Janine and Troy were eliminated in Sweden. After a brief reshuffling of partners, Miranda is left to race with Will Divine. Natalie boos loudly and throws a Cheez-It at the screen, and one of our cats bounds off my dad’s lap to chase it.

It’s been two months now, and though I don’t exactly miss Will, seeing him onscreen every week still makes my stomach twist. I never spoke to him again after our last interview, but watching the show has cleared up a lot of things for me. By this point in the season, I’ve seen Will “reluctantly open up” to every single one of his partners, and his stories have been different each time, specifically tailored to the girl. He was only afraid of flying when he was with me, and it’s clear to me now that he faked his panic attack in the air so I’d see him as vulnerable and reveal my own insecurities. With Philadelphia, he fabricated a girlfriend who had recently broken his heart. With Janine, he talked about his fear of failing his beloved dying grandmother. He told every one of us how beautiful and kick-ass and brave we were, and each of us looked equally flushed and flattered, convinced that we were special.

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