For Real(64)

I shush her—Will and Tawny have arrived and are throwing pomegranates on the other side of the fountain. “He has nothing to do with this. Leave him out of it,” I hiss.

“How can I? This whole race is about him to you. I stupidly thought you were here because you actually cared about my feelings. But now you’re too busy making goo-goo eyes at Will to even ask me whether I’m all right!”

Will and Tawny let out a cheer—somehow they’ve found their pomegranate flag already. When Miranda sees me looking at him, she hurls a pomegranate directly at my foot. “You’ve known him all of one week, Claire! Is that really where your loyalty lies?”

“Are you seriously talking to me about loyalty?” I yell. “You sell me out every time we get in front of a producer! ‘Doing romantic challenges is going to be a huge stretch for Claire. There’s no way she can possibly deal with intimate situations.’ ” Smash. “ ‘I’ve spent my entire life jumping in to save my incompetent baby sister when things get too overwhelming for her.’ ” Smash. “You told that stupid fitting room story on camera! What were you thinking? Can’t you see how they’re going to use that to portray me as a na?ve idiot?”

“It’s not like I made any of that stuff up, Claire!”

“But none of it matters! It’s not holding me back! We’ve been on this race for six days now, and there were literally five minutes that freaked me out! I’m not the scared little kid I was when you were seventeen, okay? And if you’d made any effort at all to know me since you went away to school, you’d realize that!” There are hot, angry tears spilling down my cheeks now, and I don’t even bother to wipe them away. “God, what is it going to take for you to stop patronizing me long enough to actually see me?”

“I’m not trying to patronize you, I’m trying to protect you!”

“But that’s the thing, Miranda—I don’t need your protection anymore! I’m so sick of you babying me all the time and acting like I can’t take care of myself! Are you really that surprised that I’d rather spend time with Will, who actually respects me and treats me like an adult? You’re the one I need protection from!”

Miranda throws another pomegranate, which explodes all over my shins—there’s so much red juice on me that I look like I’ve spent the day in a slaughterhouse. “If you want to be treated like an adult, then try thinking about someone besides yourself for once, Claire! I’ve just spent an entire day with my cheating ex-boyfriend, who I can barely look at without feeling like I’m going to throw up, and you’ve made zero effort to reach out to me! Didn’t it occur to you that I might be upset? My entire life just fell apart, and I’m in the middle of nowhere, and I can’t even talk to any of my friends. You’re my only ally out here, and you’ve basically abandoned me for a crush. I would never do that to you, no matter what distractions some stupid TV network threw at me. I don’t see how it matters if you can swim in your underwear or dance in front of a bunch of people if underneath it all, you’re just a selfish child.”

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the soft place under my ribs, and for a moment, I’m speechless. “Miranda, that’s not—” I start.

“I don’t want to hear it,” she says. “If you want me to believe you’re so different from how you used to be, show me you’ve grown up in a way that actually matters.”

She hurls another pomegranate, and when it breaks open, a bright pink flag peeks out of the bloody ruins. “Let’s go,” she says, snatching it up. “We’re done here.”





We exchange our flag for an envelope and learn that the Cupid’s Nest for this leg of the race is the Temple of Apollo. Miranda doesn’t even look at me as she stalks back to the car, and when we get there, she grabs the map off the backseat and figures out the way to the temple herself, as if to prove how little she trusts me. I sit in the back, stewing in her words, awash in hurt and anger.

When we finally scramble up the hill to the temple, we find Isis standing under her usual arch of pink flags. She’s wearing a pink skirt that matches the flags exactly, and for some reason I find this intensely annoying. “Welcome to the Cupid’s Nest, Miranda and Claire. You’re in third place,” she says, and we both nod. We should be happy—we’re improving every leg of the race, and we’ve beaten Samir, which means Miranda’s safe from him at the Proposal Ceremony. But neither of us is in the mood to celebrate.

“You two don’t look very pleased,” Isis says in her usual astute way. “Was this leg tough for you?”

I’m about to attempt a diplomatic answer, but Miranda snaps, “It’s all on tape. Figure it out for yourself.” She turns and storms off to the other side of the ruins, leaving Isis with her perfect mouth puckered in a tiny, silent O. I think about following her, but I decide to give her some time to cool down. I turn away from Isis before she can ask me any more insipid questions and head off in the other direction to find a place to wait.

The ruins of the temple are pretty amazing—only a few columns are still standing, but the ground is strewn with huge broken plinths, like everything was left exactly where it fell when a giant toddler knocked it over. The sky is a shockingly deep blue, and mountains loom in the distance. But I can’t enjoy any of it with Miranda’s cutting words playing on repeat inside my head. Show her I’ve grown up “in a way that actually matters”? What does that even mean? Over the last week, I’ve proven I have all kinds of adult qualities: strategic thinking, adaptability, focus, self-reliance, the ability to overcome my fears and do what has to be done. Don’t any of those things matter to her? Why can’t she see them, even when they’re right in front of her face? How dare she call me selfish when the only reason I’m even here is for her?