Ella's Twisted Senior Year(36)

I ponder over what might have been for half an hour and then I climb out of bed. She feels farther away now that she’s in the next room over than when she lived next door. I just need to see her, even if she tells me to pound sand.

The glow of the TV slips out from underneath her door, dancing shadows and lights flickering on the hallway carpet. I knock on the door and stand back as my heart begins to race.

The door opens a few inches and part of Ella’s face appears. She looks right at me then opens the door wider. Brown hair falls around her shoulders, seeming a few inches longer than it used to be. Have I really not seen her in that long? Or does it just look different because it’s silky straight and not wavy like usual?

“Hey,” I say, sounding as sheepish as I feel.

She pulls the door open wider and leans against the doorframe. She’s wearing dark purple pajama shorts that leave little to the imagination and a matching tank top. The silky fabric makes my fingers itch to touch it, to touch her and have her in my arms.

“New PJs?” I ask.

She glances down. “April’s mom bought two dozen cupcakes from me for her kid’s birthday party. I probably should be saving for more baking supplies but—” she shrugs. “I got pajamas instead. It’s hard sleeping in the same old shirt every night.”

I nod, trying not look like some kind of horn dog. “It looks good on you.” Real good.

She makes this little half shrug gesture and I can tell she wants this conversation over. But I’m a selfish * and I’m not going away that easily. “I’m glad you’re still baking,” I say. “You should bake here. I miss your cupcakes.”

She folds her arms across her chest. “You haven’t had one of my cupcakes lately. They’re a lot better than when I was in junior high. Back then I just followed the instructions on the box.”

I lift an eyebrow. “Well what do you do differently now? How else would you make cupcakes?”

She tilts her head as if she’s trying to figure out if I really am this stupid. “I don’t use a box now. I bake from scratch.”

“Ah, okay I knew that.” I nod, but it’s probably not very convincing. “I definitely know what ‘from scratch’ means.”

This wins me a grin from the girl of my dreams. “What do you want, dork?”

“I wanted to see your pretty face since you’ve been ignoring me.”

Her eyes squint a little. “I’m not ignoring you. You know the deal, Ethan. We can’t be together.”

I take a step forward. “Why?”

She swallows, her eyes never leaving mine. “Because Kennedy’s wrath isn’t worth it.”

“Forget her,” I say, inching a little closer. My toes curl into the carpet. I’m wearing flannel pajama pants and that’s all. Ella’s eyes slip down to my abs and I keep them tightened, hoping the show of masculinity wins her over. But she’s not as shallow as I might hope because she presses her lips together. “Maybe after high school,” she says.

“Why not now? I’m going crazy without your company.” I poke out my bottom lip. “Driving to school alone sucks.”

She cocks her leg out to the side. “You have no idea what it’s like being called a slut-nado, Ethan. It’s not exactly my favorite moment of high school. We can’t do this.”

“I’m so sorry about that. I can’t imagine how shitty that is, but you can’t let her get to you. Then she wins.”

Ella tosses her hands in the air, palms up. “So she wins. Oh well.”

I bend at the knees. “But we could be soul mates, Ella. And you’re throwing us away instead of giving us a chance.”

“Soul mates? That’s kind of a big thing to say.”

“I mean it.”

She huffs. “Ethan . . . we spent four years hating each other. It’ll be easy to go back to that. Let’s just go back to that.”

“Why are you pushing me away? It can’t just be because of Kennedy.” I take a chance and slide my arm around her waist, the silky fabric of her shirt feeling just as good as I’d imagined. She doesn’t push me away so I link my arms around her back and press my forehead to hers. “If you really feel nothing for me then I’ll go. But it seems like you care about me too, and you’re just giving up at the first sign of trouble.” I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of her floral perfume. “I lost you once, I can’t lose you again.”

She sighs and leans into me, tucking her head against my neck, her hands pressed against my bare chest.

My breath hitches and I hold her close, happy beyond words that she’s finally in my arms.

“I don’t know what to do,” she says, her lips grazing against my neck. I shiver and she looks up, her eyes sparkling from the glow of the television. Her lips stretch into this coy smile that makes my heart race.

“But I know what I want to do right this second,” she whispers, sliding her hands up my neck.

“What’s that?”

“Let me show you.” She takes my face in her soft hands and pulls it toward her, kissing me exactly the way that drives me crazy.





Chapter 20





My body responds to Ethan like we’re two magnets with the same polarity. I pull him into my room and close the door behind us. Ethan turns and wraps himself around me, kissing me until my back is against the door and I couldn’t run away even if I wanted to. We make out like we’ve won Olympic medals in the sport of kissing each other.